Hey. I'm 14 and I've never fingered myself. I've done other things, but the thought of fingering myself just seems gross. A couple times, I've tried to, but then I get to thinking about how gross vaginas are, and I chicken out. I know this is irrational, but do you have any advice on getting over this? Thanks.
Starting in 2006, for NOW's Love Your Body Day, our volunteers, staff and users have been creating haiku about body love and acceptance on our message boards.
It's resulted in some fantastically cool pieces over the years, so we figured we'd share a few of them today as it's that fine day yet again!
dry mouth crooked teeth
smiling never stops despite
himself, filling doubt
- foraday
Fuller or thinner
My luxurious body
Rejoices to live
- Juniata
"Ew, don't wear tight stuff."
Said to me some years ago
Finally past it
- Hyancithe
Chopsticks might seem nice
But I walk on prized columns
So show some respect
- Insecure-Poetry
my eyes, almond-shaped
brown like the good earth, birthright.
china's descendant.
- winsome
my feet are too big?
mom, look at how I stand here
stable on this earth
- bluejumprope
Big tits, big round bum
but comes with a little tum,
it's proportional.
- Lady
skin hangs loose, with marks
from my belly, he emerged
tiny baby feet
- Alice
Dark as chocolate,
Warm and kind. With the eyes of
grandmother I see.
- James the Dark
thunder thighs alight!
muscle any obstacles
challenge those who dare
- Blue Koi
What I see, in fact
is not what you see at all.
You see a woman.
- Bun Bun
This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival. For more posts in the carnival, have a click on that link! Want to see the rest of these haiku or pen your own? Here's where they live on our boards.
Want to know more about Love Your Body Day? Here's NOW's letter about it this year:
Today, the National Organization for Women Foundation celebrates its 14th annual Love Your Body Day -- a day when women of all sizes, colors, ages and abilities come together to celebrate self-acceptance and to promote positive body image. Since the launch of Love Your Body Day in 1998, NOW Foundation has used the campaign to challenge the unrealistic beauty standards and gender stereotypes promoted by the media, Hollywood and the fashion, cosmetics and diet industries.
"It's time to start valuing women for the contents of their character rather than their appearance," said NOW Foundation Education Vice President Erin Matson. "We're fed up with unhealthy images and messages, and we want to encourage women and girls to celebrate themselves not only on Love Your Body Day, but every day."
Research show that the U.S. spends over $33 billion on weight-reduction programs, diet foods and beverages, and more than 50 percent of women say they would consider having plastic surgery. Statistics revealed in the new documentary "Miss Representation" are shocking: The number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on patients 18 or younger more than tripled from 1997 to 2007. Among those 18 and younger, liposuctions nearly quadrupled between 1997 and 2007, and breast augmentations increased nearly six-fold in the same 10-year period.
This year, NOW Foundation is hosting its first ever Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival in which writers from all walks of life will share their thoughts about the effects of advertising and the media's influence on women and girls. Blog carnival topics will range from eating disorders to children's body image awareness.
NOW activists and women's advocates will host a variety of events across the U.S. to help raise awareness about body image and women's health issues. Hollywood NOW's events will include a panel discussion featuring body image experts and special host Meghan McCain. Other NOW chapters and groups are planning body-positive style workshops, programs offering free eating disorder screenings and much more.
I'm a 16 year old boy, and for as long as I can remember I have been attracted to girls and yet rarely able to feel comfortable around them and get to know them. I've always been a nice person (the friendly guy) but without that many actual close friends who are girls. Recently I've noticed I am turned on (and everything that follows that) with the thought of receiving anal. Yet when I actually tried to see what anal was like through porn (I know this isn't realistic) I really didn't like it (to be polite). People have sometimes quietly thought of me as homosexual as I've never had a girlfriend and now I'm really not sure about myself? There are so many bad stereotypes and public jokes about gays I don't think its worth considering? I guess if I could fall in love with a girl and kiss her I would be far more confident...but I shouldn't need this! Advice please?
This is our final installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
Yes, the picture you are looking at is my vagina.
When I look at this picture, I feel alienated. I will tell you why. Here is my story.
When I heard about this project, I got so excited about it. Right away, I volunteered to participate. Words could not describe my reaction to learning about genital cosmetic surgery. I felt that I was doing something important by participating. And then shooting day came. I realized that my vagina was really going to be a model.
I am a woman who believes it is important to keep some hair on the vagina. The hair is there for a reason: it protects your genitals from several things, including bacteria. It's also a natural way to reduce unwanted friction during intercourse.
I've never removed my hair fully. I only trim for personal hygiene. When I trim I don't necessarily try to get a perfect shape.
But this time, before the photo shoot I considered trimming perfectly. "It's going to be in the book," I thought.
I started to trim. In a short time, I noticed that my hair was becoming less and less. It happened so fast. I couldn't believe that I had removed it all. "No hair." I wanted to scream.
I was looking at the mirror to see what I did. And my vagina was looking back at me. "What did you do?"
Should I cancel the photo shoot? This is not the way I look naturally. I can't undo it. I couldn't believe that "the look of my vagina" had become such a big concern.
What I believed had practically collapsed. being photographed "got" me. Wanting a well-trimmed look, the process had resulted in a disaster. I felt I didn't really respect myself, by contradicting my beliefs and altering my body.
I hope this story reminds women that we are all beautiful just as we are, and not to let anyone or anything change how you look naturally.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is the seventh installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
The opportunity to participate in this project came along at the perfect time during my journey of rediscovering who I am, as a woman, as a person, during the second half of my life.
I was sexually repressed for most of my life and it has only been in the last few years that my sexuality has truly awakened. I felt my marriage less than a year ago and found myself back in the dating game. I am drawn to younger men, men who grew up on porn, men who date younger women who grew up on porn, porn that depicts perfect little shaved pussies.
The men I was dating did not seem interested in my southern region for oral purposes; I started to become self-conscious about it. I had never seen another woman's vagina up close and personal and I had only used a mirror a few times to check out my own. I started to take a closer look at mine, comparing it to the only reference I had - porn - wondering how I should improve the appearance of my vagina.
Did I need to shave? Should I have my mole removed? How do I make my vagina more inviting to men?
And then it dawned on me: it wasn't about creating the perfect vagina for others to see, it was about me accepting mine as it was. Body image issues seem to plague so many women and it was finally time for me to embrace and appreciate my body, to love who I am, as I am. I have what I have, my body is mine and I am going to keep it as it is.
As I became more comfortable with my vagina and my body as a whole, men became more interested. It was all about my attitude and how I projected these feelings unto men. As I became more confident in who I was, men picked up on my new empowered self and they were then eager to journey to my southern region... better sex and mutual sexual satisfaction soon followed.
I am proud to say: my name is Laure and this is my vagina.
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
This is our sixth installment of stories and photographs from I'll Show You Mine, a book by Wrenna Robertson and photographer Katie Huisman, and by all of the women featured in the book, collectively. To find out more about the book, Wrenna, and why we think this is such an important project, check out our interview with her here. Or, you can visit the website for the book to find out and more and get a copy for yourself.
If you'd like to ask the person whose body and words are featured in each entry any questions or have a conversation with her, most of the subjects have agreed to make themselves available here in the comments for discussions with our readers. As mentioned in Wrenna's interview, so many people never get the opportunity to talk about genitals in an honest, open and safe way with others, so we encourage you to avail yourselves of the opportunity, and are so grateful to the women involved for making this kind of conversation available to Scarleteen readers.
We're also happy to talk with you as Scarleteen staff or volunteers if you like. Depending on your feelings about your own genitals or those of others, and your experience (or lack of it) in seeing vulvas so realistically before, reading narratives or seeing images like these may stir up feelings for you which are uncomfortable. We're glad to talk you through any discomfort if you like should that happen for you. We're also happy to answer any questions this series may bring up for you about sexual or reproductive anatomy, either here in comments, on our message boards, or through our text service.
Reminder: This post includes a set of unaltered, unretouched and detailed photographs of the vulva for the purposes of awareness and education, not for sexual or other entertainment. If you do not wish to view photos like this, or are in a location where you do not feel comfortable viewing them, you may not want to read or scroll to the bottom of this page. We have left substantial space in between the words and the images so you may read all of the author's narrative without also viewing the images if you prefer.
This post also includes a first-person narrative reflective of the author and their own thoughts, feelings and language, which may or may not reflect the opinions or values of Scarleteen as an organization.
In casual conversation, it is my vag, or va-goo if I'm in a silly mood. If I'm feeling particularly Feministy or Earth Mother Birthing Goddessy, it is my Yoni. I tell a lover I would love to lick her pussy. Whatever it is called, one thing is certain: it is pretty freaking amazing.
I am a doula, which means that I see on a regular basis the phenomenal things our vaginas can do. I have also birthed two children myself. My first child was a hefty 10 pounds. I gave birth on my hands and knees, stopped listening to the people shouting at me to push, and pushed when I felt like it. I did not tear.
The nurses were amazed with my vagina; I was amazed with myself.
While pregnant with my second, the topic at a party steered towards childbirth. A friend of mine emphatically stated that when she has children she would opt for a cesarean. Not for fear of pain but because she did not want to ruin her vagina. She told me flippantly that I must be loose.
Loose. Ruined.
I realize that sometimes in childbirth problems do occur that lead to major changes in women's vaginas, and I do not wish to discredit those experiences. However, I want to address the idea that childbirth, aging or having lots of sex leads to a RUINED vagina.
I took a look at the dictionary definition of "ruined." Total destruction or disintegration. To harm irreparably.
Many things may change the shape of our vagina and vulva, childbirth being one of them. But does having a different vagina mean it is ruined?
My vagina has accommodated the birth of two large infants, and returned more or less to its original shape. It has been penetrated by various body parts and sex toys and perhaps some things that were not meant as sex toys but were commandeered for that purpose. To this date I have enjoyed a vibrant sex life with a variety of partners. Is my vagina ruined? No! I want to stop hearing women worry that childbirth will RUIN their vagina, stop hearing about doctors putting in a "daddy stitch" when they repair a vaginal tear and get rid of terminology that defines women by their vaginas.
Women who sleep around are called "loose women." There is a problem with that.
My name in Kacey, I have birthed two large babies, slept with multiple partners and had a variety of interesting items in my hoo-ha. Despite this myriad of "vagina destroying" activities, my pussy remains the bastion of partner pleasing, baby birthing and self-exploratory awesomeness that it has always been. Woo!
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Previous posts in this series:
Want some information on vulvas and other sexual anatomy, gender and body image? Check these links out to get started:
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