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wants

I'm so unhappy in our sex life, and he just doesn't understand.

jem18 asks:

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year now. We have been sexually active through our relationship and I have been wanting to try something new. It was hard for me to tell him, but I suggested that he at least perform oral sex on me because I don't always enjoy intercourse (and don't usually have an orgasm that way). He told me that oral sex is not something he is interested in doing but I perform it on him whenever we mess around. It makes me angry sometimes because I feel as though he receives variety in our sex life and I get the SAME one thing over and over again. I don't want to make him do anything he's not comfortable with because I want sex to be enjoyable for the both of us. We plan on being together for a long time and I don't know how to get him to understand. Some of the conversations even get a little heated. It makes me feel "creepy" that I get upset because of this. I feel as though all I can do is accept it but I don't want to feel dissatisfied with sex and resent him. I can't make him do it but if we are going to be in the long term relationship he says he wants so badly then am I just supposed to settle for what he wants to do with me sexually?

My boyfriend has boundaries and responses to sex I don't know how to deal with.

cookie127 asks:

My boyfriend has a problem with sex, I know him very well and I know he's not just being a guy. He likes to play around a lot but he's very iffy about me touching him I don't know how to help this or what to do... he did have a really terrible experience when he was younger but he's had long term relationships and he has slept with other women but only 2. He wants to have sex we've tried it once but he got too nervous about it and pulled away I don't know how to handle this situation?

He said he'd wait, but he won't stop asking.

Staying_Pure asks:

I'm a 17 year old girl and have been dating this guy for a year and a half. I love him and know he loves me. For about the past six months I've been giving him handjobs. We started out slowly. (Through his pants, though his boxers, and then of course through nothing.) Well, recently he has been trying to convince me to let him fingering me. I told him "no" and he was pretty respectful of that. Each time we do something though, he asks for it. When I say no, he keeps saying 'okay, I'll wait for you" When he kept asking, I said wait till I'm in college and we'll see. Then, he said okay again. Once he asked me why I wasn't ready and I said because I was scared. When I couldn't explain why I was scared he got a little frustrated. He still keeps asking me for fingering and as I say no, he says "It's okay I'll wait for you." I just want to know though, how I can get him to stop asking, it kind of feels like he is pressuring me. I've tried to find a reason for my fears, but I can't place my finger on it other than I'm not ready. (It doesn't help that an old of crush of his- who is both of our friend- is telling him about how her boyfriend gave her first orgasm through fingering.)

Working It Out When Hooking Up Isn't Working

zebrastripes111 asks:

I'm 16. I've gone through 8 sexual partners in the last year. And 5 of them only in these past 3 months. I've only had one boyfriend in my life. I cheated on him. Twice.

I feel like I'm easy, maybe I am. I will tell myself that I won't have sex with a guy, and then I end up doing it anyways. In that moment I truly do want nothing more than to get it on. I am juggling two 'sex buddies' one of whom is a friend and the other is more of a stranger I sleep with. I suppose it wouldn't be such a bad thing except I only get sex when they want it. Frankly I'm a little fed up with this routine. I get horny too, but apparently that doesn't count. I enjoy sex, and I'm not afraid to say that. I can achieve an orgasm almost every time I have sex. But as soon as were finished I feel like shit. I don't really know why this is. I have inquired that maybe I use sex as a tool to make myself feel wanted and cared for. Or that I'm guilty to have maybe abused sex. Or simply that I am fucking... and not making love. I don't know what to do or what this is about. I don't know if you can console me, but any efforts and advice would be appreciated.

Is it wrong to just have sex with my ex when I really want a relationship?

Oceangirl4 asks:

My ex boyfriend and I are really close and sometimes make out with each other when we are alone. He used to really like me still and I didn't feel the same way and now it has reversed and I really like him again but he doesn't want a relationship. We have talked about just being friends and doing stuff but is this wrong? Plus I really want to have sex with him, he's not a virgin and I am, do you think it is a bad idea if we're not together? I know we will always be really close and share everything with each other but should I wait until we are together one day? I really love him and maybe if we do it his old feelings will light up again. Please give me honest advice on what I should do. Cheers.

How do I tell my boyfriend I don't think he's ready for sex yet?

erohwaremac asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for over five months now. In an emotional sense, we're a perfect couple. We love and respect each other, and get along incredibly. However, I am his first real girlfriend. I'm only the third girl he's ever kissed and done other things with. We "fool around" such as we make out, he feels me up and fingers me, and I go down on him, etc. However, I have essentially taught him everything he knows. He is a virgin. I am not. He tells me he is ready for sex, but despite the fact that I love and think the world of him, I know that he is not. Biologically he is raring to go, but emotionally he is not. I don't really know how to tell him this. I know it won't compromise the relationship, but I just don't want him to feel like I think of him any less. I just want his first time to be special and wonderful. And the only way I can let that happen is if he is totally emotionally ready. Deep down, he agrees with me, but his hormones are getting the better of him. I don't want to deny him, but at the same time I don't want to hurt him either. What do you suggest?

Feeling lost in a long-distance relationship

aroplane asks:

I have been in a long distance relationship for a year now. We are in love, but he is a year older than me and is going to college this year. We decided a long time ago that breaking up would be the best option in order to avoid one of us cheating or having to break up on bad terms later on. The goal is to preserve our friendship.

The problem is we are still in love and so far we have been acting the same way that we did when we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. We still say I love you and talk every day. At first we decided to label our status as "broken up", however we then decided that since we weren't acting broken up that we should not call our status anything and ignore labels and just listen to our feelings and be honest with each other all the time. That sounds good in theory but now we are in this relationship limbo that seems so fragile and hopeless.

My friend told me that the best thing to do in order not to end up getting taken over by jealousy down the line would be to stop talking to each other all together and try to get over one another. There is one big big big problem with that idea and that is that we are in love and the thought of not speaking to him tears me apart. I want to know my "boyfriend" forever one way or another. He accepts me and loves me for who I am. We have so much fun together. When I'm with him I feel safe and beautiful. Nothing compares to it.

If we HAVE to break up then I do want to be friends if that is all we can be, but I don't know how to do that when I would rather be his girlfriend. I need him in my life. He needs me in his. What is the best way to handle this situation?

Enjoyment and Ejaculation: Inside and Outside

tammyj asks:

Is it true that an orgasm is more enjoyable for a guy if it happens inside his partner? Even though I take the pill religiously, I've always been afraid to let my partners finish inside me. I have them pull out and ejaculate their sperm on my stomach instead. No one has ever complained but I hate to think I'm robbing my boyfriend of pleasure. Any truth to this?

I want to save sex for later in relationships, but I can't do that... can I?

Miss Anonymous asks:

I am worried about sex, and I don't think its normal at my age (24) but I don't know what to do about it. I was raised in a really strict family and so I didn't lose my virginity til I was 21 which was really way later than everyone else, even my younger sister. I wasn't really ready but I was sort of curious and I did it to please my boyfriend and lots of other reasons. We dated for about a year and I had sex with two more guys after I split up with him but mainly from feeling like I should to fit in. I haven't had a serious boyfriend in ages now, and I'm afraid to have another relationship cos I think it will surely involve sex. I know in theory you can say no, but hey, what guy is going to stick around with me when he can get it from any other girl on the street? It doesn't seem realistic. When I think about sex I just get scared, cos I feel like I don't know at all what to do, and its not like I was even an adventurous teenager so I can't give head or anything either. I really don't know how to do anything except kiss. But I'm sure most guys are expecting way more than that! I don't want to become a slut just to learn but I can't claim to be a virgin any more so I don't know what to do. In my ideal world I'd like to be with a guy for at least a year before sleeping together, maybe wait til marriage, but I am scared to even admit that's what I want cos I know its not normal. Please help! I'm worried that being so messed up about this will mean no decent guy will want to be with me.

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