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waiting

My friend and I are both virgins, but he isn't feeling good about it anymore.

Anonymous asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl looking for advice to give a (just-turned) 26 year old male. That sounds odd, but my best friend is 8 years older than I am, and we're both virgins. While I'm proud of my decision to wait, my friend has become increasingly insecure with his. As our friendship has progressed I've found that my words have become less comforting, I suppose because of the difference in age and gender. There is so much unspoken pressure on girls and their sexuality in our society- but with males it is so much more overt, and his increasing age only increases his shame. I can't go to an adult sexuality site for an answer because those are irrelevent to me, and you're my favorite internet source of advice and information, so I hope you can help me deal with my friend. How can I let him know that nothing is wrong with him, and how can I build his confidence? How can I avoid seeming condescending (especially with someone so much older than I am)? All of his friends have had sex, so there's a significant wall in the conversation whenever he tries to talk about it with them. I'm scared that that wall is growing between us, not because of a difference in experience, but, again, in age (and possibly gender). How can I approach him with this topic without him becoming defensive? How can I make sure he knows I'm there for him? In college he saved himself for a girl that led him on because she was afraid of her own sexuality, she's now a proud lesbian and they're close friends, but I think it makes him feel worthless and incapable of a real relationship. He's so good to his friends, how can I get him to let me be the friend he is? How can I protect him from self-destruction and stop the label "virgin" from ruling his life?

I like him, and he wants to have sex but I really don't.

Anonymous asks:

I really like this guy and now he has asked me to have sex I am under age and I don't really want to do it but I really like him but he just wants to mess about and I want more of a committment. I really don't know what to do, so confused. HELP PLEASE.

Anal sex panic, and some good reasons to step the heck back.

Anonymous asks:

Hi it's me again, I asked you a couple weeks ago about anal seepage after anal sex. Well we DID engaged in full anal foreplay before anal sex, was very patient about it, I relaxed my muscles the whole time, and used TONS of lube. So we tried it again like that and I still had white/clear mucus seepage come out, but it was worse this time there was more blood. AND I looked at my butt hole to see what was wrong and if I push like I'm gonna take a poo it looks like I could poop out my intestines or whatever is in there! I'm VERY scared I dont know whats wrong with me, I always thought there was no harm in anal sex, now I could have harmed myself for life. We did everything right and I'm very terrified so the quickest you could get back on this would be WONDERFUL.

Just getting it over with

Maria asks:

My friend recently had sex for the first time and she is a year younger than I am and I really want to have sex. Is it wrong to just want to get it over with or is that called being a slut?

Yield for Pleasure

There's a reason for taking things slowly, for putting off intercourse, or taking it away from center stage that often gets overlooked. I'm not talking about slowing things down for religious or moral ideals or social pressures. Not slowing things down to prevent STIs and pregnancy. Not even slowing things down for legal reasons or because of your age. I'm not talking about Just Say No, and I'm not talking about not having sex at all. I'm talking about PLEASURE.

Does Abstinence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

What we are talking about here is celibacy, the deliberate choice not to have a sexual partner for any period of time. There's nothing ambiguous about that. Being celibate entails sharing NO sexual acts with a partner: any kind of intercourse (vaginal or anal), oral sex, manual sex, and so forth. In other words, no physical, sexual contact with others; meaning any genital (penis or vulva) touch, with mouths, hands or anything else between you and someone else is off limits.

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