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waiting

I wasn't ready for sex, so he opted out of being with me, and now I feel like a loser.

Lisa asks:

There's this guy I've known for a long time. We were going to pursue a relationship. The problem is he has a high sex drive and I'm a virgin at 22. He's a lot older: he's 28.

The fact I'm a virgin - it's a issue to him. I want to take my time and wait until I'm ready. He can't understand why I'm not ready. Anyway we decided not to take it further. He decided to get back with his ex as she can give him everything he wants and needs. I can't help but feel insecure and inadequate. I keep comparing myself to her. Thanks for your help.

Two Guys, Waiting and Wanting

Steve asks:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 months now and we have yet to have sexual intercourse. We're not like your average 2month couple. We stay together at each others house every night. I've slept with her every night this month, except these two nights. At times, just like these it is very frustrating. I've been sexually active for over 4 years now with around 7 different females. And she is a virgin. So, going from sex at least twice a month with no strings attached to a serious relationship with no sex at all, sometimes makes me want to have a mental breakdown.

Am I ready for sex, or is it just my hormones talking?

Anonymous girl asks:

I have just become a teen and sometimes I feel like having sex but I don't want to because I'm not ready. I just started my menstrual cycle. I think it's just my hormones but I am not sure. I also think it's wrong to do it unless you love someone a lot or your married. Most people today in our modernized world don't have the same philosophy. Am I weird? I am really religious so if I do it, it's gonna be on my conscience. Also since protection is not always 100% I might get and STD or pregnant. I need some advice. I don't think I can handle a sex life right now.

It's Between God and Me

I used to know God was real. And I knew sex outside of marriage was wrong. Then I lost my faith, and fell in love, and everything turned upside down. One readers story of her struggles to resolve her conflict between sex and religion.

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

I'm ready, but I can't figure out if she is.

Travis asks:

Me and my girlfriend are virgins and are 16. We have been dating for about ten months and are getting curious about sex. She asked if I was ready and I told her I don't know because she's not sure and I'm not sure what to do. She will say that she wants to but turn around and say no. I just don't want her to lose her virginity and regret everything else that we do for the first time. I haven't even seen or touched anything yet, so I guess that leaves me some room, if I get that far without confirmation. I love her so much but I want to do it so bad. There's something stopping her and I don't know how to express myself . I guess she is scared because it might hurt and she does not know what she is doing and she doesn't want to upset me.

I want it, she doesn't.

easywurie asks:

How will I be able to make love to my girlfriend, because we have talked about it but she didn't agree.
What should I do?

He wants me to be a freak, but I just want to lay there.

Anonymous asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for a while but am shy too have sex. I just lay there without making any noises and I don't do any positions and I also make him turn off the lights so I won't see him an he won't see me. I wanna break out of my shell, he cares about me a lot but I am scared he is going to leave because there is no excitement in our sex life. I WANT him to enjoy me I care about him a lot and I don't want to lose him. I WANT to be a freak in bed and make him want to have sex with me he doesn't even wanna have sex because he says am boring. I don't wanna do anything but lay there. Thank you.

I feel awful about my previous sex life, but am worried if it's really okay for me to change.

Anonymous asks:

I'm very embarrassed to say that over the last year I have been very promiscuous, as in to having sex with 15 different partners. I have gotten over that phase, and I have sworn to stay celibate for at least six months. My question is whether or not it is possible for me to be tight again? Also, if it would be right for me to make a future boyfriend wait a while, before having sex with him? I mean, I gave it up to someone I just met, why would I make my 'boyfriend' wait? Please help, I feel so horrible with myself. I think that staying celibate will help me regain respect with myself, but, of course, I can never forget it.

I like her, she likes me; we're thinking about sex, but feel uneasy.

Anonymous asks:

I’m a 14 year old boy. There is this girl that really likes me and I feel the same way about her. We want to have sex, but we’re both uneasy about it. What should we do?

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