virginity

Dear New York Times

I sent this in response to the New York Times piece published last week regarding abstinence-only education. Alas, I didn't hear back from them, so I offer it up here instead. I feel it's important to get as much informed commentary out there on this issue as possible right now, especially considering the recent continuance and increases given to abstinence-only funding.

I didn't orgasm: does that mean I'm still a virgin?

Anonymous asks:

I had my first real sexual experience a few months ago, but I don't really like to talk about it. The problem was that I guess I was a little too anxious and I didn't go about it quite the right way and as a result, I never reached orgasm. I am also not too sure if she did either, I can't even remember. I believe I am too young to be considered impotent, I have no problem "finishing" if it is by myself. At any rate, does this still make me a virgin?

How Can I Tell if HE Is a Virgin?

Anonymous asks:

I'm with my boyfriend for over a year and he's always asking me if I'm a virgin and of course I am. But how can I tell that he's always a virgin too?

And more with the popping of cherries.

Katie asks:

I am very confused about "popping my cherry". I have previously read that everyone has to have their cherry popped, but then again some say that there is no skin thing. If not, than why does it hurt when you have sex for the first time or why do you bleed?

I want to lose my virginity before I have sex.

sodapope asks:

I am a virgin, and I really want to lose it myself before I actually have sex because it is embarassing that I still have my virginity and i'm 18. But everytime that I masterbate or try to "pop my cherry" about like 3 inches into my vagina there is like a "sheet" of skin that is hard to push through, I am not sure if it is something you are supposed to push through, or it's my "cherry", I just don't want to hurt myself breaking something I am not supposed to.

Virginity standards and masturbation

asks:

I live in Africa. Here, both my religion and culture restrict that a girl should be a virgin unless she gets married. I masturbate and sometimes a lil blood droplet is there in my pants after I masturbate although I don't finger myself. I tried to finger after I saw that blood drop to check if my hymen is still intact, so I pressed my fingers into my vagina and it was there (a sorta layer) and it hurt me so I pulled my fingers out. The thing is, is my hymen still there or not? Should I stop masturbating if I want to keep my virginity or it doesn't matter ?

Just getting it over with

Maria asks:

My friend recently had sex for the first time and she is a year younger than I am and I really want to have sex. Is it wrong to just want to get it over with or is that called being a slut?

Anal Sex: No Different?

My boyfriend says that anal sex is no different than regular sex. Is that true? He also says we don't have to use a condom? Also, will I still be a virgin if I have anal sex? Will it hurt as much?

First Intercourse 101

If you're thinking about sexual (vaginal) intercourse with an opposite sex partner, and you've got everything you feel you need: materially, in terms of your relationship, and emotionally, you might want to know HOW to make it all work your first time. The bulk of questions we get asked about first intercourse are: Will it hurt? Will I bleed? Will I hate it? I'm so scared, what do I do? Why isn't my boyfriend talking to me now that we've had sex? Why didn't I orgasm? Why didn't it feel like anything?

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse

At least once every couple of days, someone posts or writes into Scarleteen reporting that vaginal entry -- usually intercourse or manual vaginal sex, and usually (but not always) with male partners -- is painful, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling for them. Whatever sort of vaginal entry we're talking about -- with fingers, a penis or a dildo, with partners of any gender -- not only doesn't have to be painful, it really shouldn't be. More than that, any kind of sex shouldn't be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.