values

When people ask about lowering their standards and whether it's worth it to do so, the answer to that question depends on what those standards are. You didn't describe yours in detail, so I don't have much to go on, but in general, I'd divide what people tend to call "standards" into two types of...

I'm going to answer your first question last. What would I, personally, do if I found out my partner had engaged in oral sex (or any other kind of sex) a certain number of times? I'd figure their sexual past is theirs to judge as they please and would hope they thought the same way about my past. I...

Once, in a sleepless night of Netflix marathoning, someone said something on a show that stuck with me, despite the rest of the night being an unmemorable haze of insomnia. That was, "What's so wonderful about being young is that there are no mistakes, only research." As someone who works with young...

Many men -- and people of all genders -- will not and do not wait until marriage to engage in various kinds of sex with partners. That's as true now as it was 20 or 50 years ago. For at least the last 100 years in the west, most people do engage in some kind of genital sexual activities with...

For starters, I think staying silent about this with a romantic partner isn't likely to help you out, especially one you're physical with. Unless you feel like your relationship is too new to be talking about sexuality at all yet, I also don't think keeping how you're feeling to yourself is going to...

We talk about this a lot here at Scarleteen: virginity isn't physical or anything that can be universally proven or disproven with body parts. It's an intellectual concept, an idea, a belief, and perhaps most accurately, a word for identity some people use, usually to identify when they or others...

Without hormones, our bodies would not be able to function! Hormones are essentially chemical messengers that deliver the memo to cells that they are supposed to change up what they're doing. Not all hormones are sex hormones; there are lots of kinds! Many hormones are produced by our endocrine...

Recognizing that you have negative beliefs about sex and sexuality is a huge step in clarifying what you think to be true and the value system you want to follow. That is a major task of growing up, and not just related to sexuality. As we move through youth, adolescence, and young adulthood we are...

I used to know God was real. And I knew sex outside of marriage was wrong. Then I lost my faith, and fell in love, and everything turned upside down. One readers story of her struggles to resolve her conflict between sex and religion.

There's a lot to talk about here. Let's start by addressing and dealing with your risks. It sounds to me like you're both so unaware of your own anatomy, and were so unfamiliar with what any given kind of sex might feel like that there's no way either of us can say if you only had anal intercourse...