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values

We're abstinent, but we had anal sex and are scared to death.

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are being abstinent until marriage. We only had sex once, we aren't doing it again and want to be renewed as being abstinent, and we are doing that with my cousin and her bf, because they quit after doing it for months, too.

There was only one incident that happened, that scares us both to death. I would never let him in my vagina because that would just ruin our relationship. We had anal sex. I was sitting on top of him, and the he pre-cummed in his pants. He wanted to just stick his penis in my butt, not my vagina, so he did and it hurt soooo badly. He said he cummed while I was on top. I'm not sure if he wasn't in my vagina, though, because I had a tampon in and when I went to the bathroom after all of this happened, I found the tampon all moved up inside my vagina. Then he cummed and took it out, and we stopped, and we both laid next to each other and he stuck his penis back in my butt again. He used lotion so it wouldn't hurt as bad, and it didn't go in far. After the second time lasted for a minute or two, we stopped and decided we should never do it again, because we weren't like that, being all "sexual." That happened on April 19, and it is April 29. We are both scared that I may be pregnant. I never eat a lot, but now I crave food a little more. We are just so scared to death. I never lost my virginity. I was just wondering if the second time he cummed, if it was in my real butt or not, because it felt different from a different position. I want to know if there is any risk at all that I might be pregnant. My period was the 16th-19th, and I really don't want to wait that long to see if I am or not, but I live with my nana and her new abusive husband would kick me out if I even had a pregnancy test so there is not really a good way to do that. I would just like to know all the information, if we should be worried or not, and anything you can tell us. Thank you so much!

He's new to sex, I'm not, and I think his values are killing our sex life.

Anonymous asks:

I am 21 years old, and have a two year old daughter so am obviously no stranger to sex. My new boyfriend, however, is a 22 year old complete virgin. We have tried to have sex on multiple occasions but once we really get ready to go for the gusto he goes limp. All the rest of the time he is extremely erect. He and I both can't understand why he continually can't stay hard even though we have tried every position and possibility in the book. I think it has something to do with the fact that he and I are both Christians, but I think his conviction about having sex before marriage is so heavy it wont allow him to stay hard. Please help!!! It's getting to the point where he wants to try almost every night and I am so tired of trying.

To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

Can sex be a way of saying I love you?

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I are both virgins. We have talked about sex and decided we are ready for it. Can sex be a way of saying "I love you"? How? What makes it such?

I thought I wanted to wait, but this guy touched me, and now I think I want sex.

Anonymous asks:

I'm a fourteen year old girl turning fifteen very soon. I've always loved to flirt, and am even somewhat of a romantic. I've always believed that I should maintain abstinence, not only to respect my parents' wishes, but also to live up to their expectations. However, a few months ago, I've been touched at a school dance by an older boy. It wasn't a violating touch, it seemed like the guy just wanted to see how much I would allow. He very polite (as much as possible in this situation) about it and would stop when I made it clear I did not want to be touched in that manner. But ever since, I think I've been horny! I'm starting to rethink my values of having sex. I know that the sole reason I've believed in abstinence was reflexive to obeying my parents, because I never really thought about having sex before. But now that I have thought about it, I want to try and experiment. Of course, I don't want to jump immediately at the first chance I have, but I definitely want to try when I find someone I'm comfortable with. I'm just worried whether I'm too young, or if going against my parents' expectations is acceptable. I would prefer it if I did not have to tell my parents, because I know they will not approve of this. If I go through with having sex, is it right or are there any better alternatives?

Did he break my virginity with dry humping?

Anonymous asks:

I am a 23 year old virgin and have pledged to remain so until marriage. I recently had an intimate moment with one of my guy friends. I sat on his lap while he kissed my neck but he had an erection and I felt his pennis almost at the entrance of my vagina thought I had all my clothes including trousers on. We had agreed from the start that we wouldn't have penetration as that would break my virginity.

At some point he wanted to demonstrate to me the so-called "doggy style" and he did but still with my trousers tight on. However I did feel his erect pennis around my virginal area but no entrance. This was quite a vigorous activity and I did get well stimulated and wet and some bumps up and down!

All through this I did feel his erect pennis round my vagina even with my trousers on but didn't feel any penetration nor had any bleeding or pain afterwards. My concern is that could I have lost my virginity by any chance through this??

Is masturbation wrong?

regulargurl16 asks:

In my home, religion was big. Some things were discussed other things weren't. Premarital was a big issue and I was told never to do it, but we never talked about masturbation or anything like that. So is it wrong to do it?

Mouthing Off on Oral Sex

Many people engage in oral sex, and find it a pleasurable of sexual activity. So long as you engage in it responsibly, it's just as normal, healthy, safe and natural as any other kind of genital sex. Here are the answers to some of your most common questions -- no secrets, no flashing lights and sirens, just the lowdown on going down.

Does Abstinence Make the Heart Grow Fonder?

What we are talking about here is celibacy, the deliberate choice not to have a sexual partner for any period of time. There's nothing ambiguous about that. Being celibate entails sharing NO sexual acts with a partner: any kind of intercourse (vaginal or anal), oral sex, manual sex, and so forth. In other words, no physical, sexual contact with others; meaning any genital (penis or vulva) touch, with mouths, hands or anything else between you and someone else is off limits.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.