I Googled the hell out of my problem until I came upon a curious condition called vulvodynia -- or more specifically, vulvar vestibulitis syndrome. Something clicked, the symptoms there... that was me, those stories were me! I brushed it off again as my mind being overactive and diagnosing myself with something that didn't exist – isn't that what hypochondriacs do, cruise the Web looking for obscure problems with big names for every little symptom?

Many women who have difficulty with first intercourse or vaginal penetration are often quick to suspect their hymen isn't “broken.” However, in some instances in which the woman is aroused, lubricated well, and has a patient and sensitive partner, but she still suffers great pain or discomfort with attempted penetration, that isn't the case at all.

It may seem silly to address a topic that many of us had explained when we were very young. Unfortunately, very few of us have had it explained well, leaving a good many with no idea what the birds and the bees really mean to our everyday sexual lives. Every day someone at Scarleteen asks if this, that or the other thing is a pregnancy risk, or how they can tell if they are pregnant, or how they can even get pregnant in the first place. It isn't stupid or immature not to know the answers to these questions. It is only foolish not to ask them when we don't know the answers, or to assume we'll just be "lucky," and so never try to learn.

Want to know what to expect at your first gynecologists' or reproductive health exam? We've got the lowdown for you here.

There's a reason for taking things slowly, for putting off intercourse, or taking it away from center stage that often gets overlooked. I'm not talking about slowing things down for religious or moral ideals or social pressures. Not slowing things down to prevent STIs and pregnancy. Not even slowing things down for legal reasons or because of your age. I'm not talking about Just Say No, and I'm not talking about not having sex at all. I'm talking about PLEASURE.

At least once every couple of days, a woman posts or writes into Scarleteen reporting that vaginal entry -- usually heterosexual intercourse or manual vaginal sex ("fingering"), and usually (but not always) with male partners -- is painful, uncomfortable, or unfulfilling for them. Whatever sort of vaginal entry we're talking about -- with fingers, a penis or a dildo, with partners of any gender -- not only doesn't have to be painful, it really shouldn't be. More than that, any kind of sex shouldn't be about a lack of pain, but about the presence of pleasure.

When you're thinking about sexual (vaginal) intercourse with an opposite sex partner, and you've got everything you feel you need: materially, in terms of your relationship, and emotionally, you're probably still reading because you want to know HOW to make it all work your first time. The bulk of questions we get asked about first intercourse are: Will it hurt? Will I bleed? Will I hate it? I'm so scared, what do I do? Why isn't my boyfriend talking to me now that we've had sex? Why didn't I orgasm? Why didn't it feel like anything?

Vaginal discharge and secretions are a normal, healthy part of your reproductive system. The vagina -- which is not the whole of your genitals, that's called the vulva, but the flexible tube behind the vaginal opening and inside the body -- is a passageway between the outside of the body and the internal reproductive system. The pH balance of the vagina is acidic, with "good" bacteria, by design, which helps keep infections away. Vaginal secretions are how the vagina cleanses and regulates itself -- how amazing is that? -- in the same sort of way that saliva helps keep your mouth clean and healthy.