unwanted sex

Please Stop Calling Rape Sex

That's it, just what seems -- to me, anyway -- to be a relatively simple request I'm putting out to the universe today, because it's something that comes up almost constantly in work and discussions around sexuality, something where I've grown impatient waiting for change.

I'm asking what I'm asking as an advocate for survivors, as a survivor myself and as someone deeply invested in sex being something truly beneficial for people, and which we only define as something people willingly, wantedly, choose to do when they do choose it.

Silent, like the mind never could be

How do you feel about and process a date rape and unpleasant sex after it happens? How do you deal with collective ideas about "grey" rape and the value of virginity when it's actual, not just abstract concepts? How will you talk to a new partner about those experiences? A corageous Scarleteen reader tries to work out very raw and painfully honest feelings on the page.