unique

The Rules of Ooohs and Ahhhs (Hint: there aren't any)

Ohhhyess asks:

I think that I am on my way to being ready to have sex with my boyfriend but I am just worried about the whole moaning thing...during masturbation I sometimes moan, but mostly keep it quiet. Are you supposed to moan when having sex? If so, is there a technique to what you are saying or do you just do it?

How to Become an Expatriate of Owville

PaulaKristine asks:

I am a 20 year old female. I have been sexually active since I was 17. Every time I have sex whether I was in a relationship with them or not having sex hurt. When we first start to have sex it feels good, but after a few minutes it starts to hurt, feeling like the penis is hitting a wall. I can't last for more than around 5 minutes or the sex feels like intense pain. Also I have never has an orgasm while having sex, I just do not feel aroused in the same way while having sex, like I do when my clit is being played with. People tell me I just do not have sex often enough so I am not "stretched out" or "used to it" but it does not feel good to me at all, except for the first minute or 2. I don't understand why I don't enjoy sex like the rest of the human population.

New Series: Would Love Your Help!

Submitted by Heather Corinna on Wed, 2010-07-14 06:26

I'd like to start a new series at Scarleteen to address some unique first-person experiences while also looking at generational differences and similarities, divides and bridges. All too often, people with shared experiences but of different ages talk past or over each other; have a hard time connecting and seeing where they connect, where they don't and landing in a place where we can all respect each other's experiences, no matter how different we may be.

Ideally, how I'd like this to go is to get two people of different generations -- one under 25, one over 40 -- for each of the following themes/experiences in the list below. Rather than myself or other staff asking the questions or leading the topic, I'd like each of those two people to write out five questions for the other, then each answer the questions they were asked, adding more if needed during that back-and-forth conversation, and we'll edit it all together into something polished and cohesive.

What's the point? First to get some more first-person experience content for the topics below. But it's also to provide conversation between generations on these experiences and really look at what's different and what's the same, the ways either person might not understand the other's experience, and to build some generational bridges. I think the self-interview format will allow those participating to focus on what they want to know, rather than what I might want to as an editor, and will allow people with these experiences to decide what their big deals have been rather than anyone possibly outside those experiences deciding for them.

Here's the list!

  • Two people who have been/are teen mothers: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who have what they consider to be casual sex: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who were sexually active in high school: have young person, need over 40
  • Two trans women
  • Two trans men: have young person, need over 40
  • Two genderqueer or agender people: have young person, need over 40
  • Two rape survivors: have young person, need over 40
  • Two lesbians: have young person, need over 40
  • Two gay men: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who identify as bisexual or queer: have young person, need over 40
  • Two domestic violence/partner violence survivors: have young person, need over 40
  • Two intersex people
  • Two people who are involved in BDSMhave young person, need over 40
  • Two involuntary celibates
  • Two HIV positive people
  • Two people who had sex education in school: team in progress!
  • Two people who identify as asexual: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who grew up with gay/lesbian/queer parents/families: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who were sexually active as teens whose parents reacted very badly
  • Two people who are/were married before the age of 20
  • Two people who had abortions
  • Two people who were kicked out of their homes in their teens
  • Two people who did not have sexual relationships until marriage
  • Two people who had/have trouble reaching orgasm: have young person, need over 40
  • Two survivors of childhood sexual abuse: read it here!
  • Two people with disabilities that impact/influence their sexuality: have young person, need over 40
  • Two people who went through a sexual orientation shift/change: read it here!
  • Two people who were sexually harassed/bullied in high school: have young person, need over 40

By all means, if there's a pairing here you think I've overlooked, or you know you want to be part of but isn't on the list, let me know!

Interested in participating? Drop an email, letting us know which set you're interested in being part of. I'll keep tabs, connect people via email when we have some pairs, and give you some guidance with formatting. If you only want to be identified by a specific name to the other person/readers per your privacy, please let us know.

Teams we now have for a topic are those marked. Topics where we have someone of one age but not the other waiting for a match are also noted.


He likes it, I don't. What now?

turnwavesmile asks:

I don't feel anything at all when I touch myself. It just feels like nothing inside and doesn't arouse me at all. The only way I can masturbate is by rubbing the palm of my hand on my clit. When my boyfriend and I are together, he likes to finger me. But like I said before, I don't feel anything. It gets pretty awkward when he's just fingering me and it's not feeling like anything and it just drags on forever, while he has no idea. What should I do?!

Having trouble reaching orgasm? Masturbation is your friend.

buddybuds asks:

I am 17, me and my boyfriend of two years had a spree of sexual intimacy. We did everything every day, couples times a day here and there. I read a lot about how masturbation can help to bring a woman to orgasm, I don't feel the need to, but doesn't it help that my boyfriend and I basically did every day? I have lost my extreme sex drive, I feel like no matter what it wont happen for me (orgasm). I love giving him what he wants, he tries to give me the same but it never happens? Is there any way past masturbation that can help for an orgasm and bring that sex drive back to my life?

How can women who sleep with women know when they have lost their virginity?

Anonymous asks:

I am bisexual and my girlfriend and I are planning on having sex for the first time. We both are virgins and want to lose it to each other but don't know how and how will we know that we lost it?

Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models

What's a "boyfriend" or what's a "girlfriend?" It all depends on what you and yours decide it's going to mean and what works best for you.

How can I make my first time special?

Sarah M. asks:

Having read several of your articles concerning "first time" sex, I understand that it may not (and probably won't be?) everything I'm expecting, and that you're "first time" isn't as big a deal as society makes it seem. But I would really like my first time to be special. Not necessarily perfect, but an event in my life I can look back on fondly. Is there anything I can do/should know that would make it more special?

By the way, I think this site and what you do here is awesome, and I am so so grateful that this resource is available. Keep it up!


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