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trauma

Navigating sex and sexuality after a long history of abuse and assault

Sara asks:

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

First intercourse was horrible, and I think it ruined my genitals.

Anonymous asks:

I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again? Is there a such thing as being torn or ripped and heal back and not get back the natural elasticity of my vagina? I mean I had to dig into my skin bite my fingers and hold my breath from the pain, I don't think that is normal.....help please I'm very worried about this!

Abortion & Trauma: The Bigger Picture

Studies, and reports on them, like this amaze me. Of course, the pro-life blogs and sources are all over this already like white on rice.

Of COURSE a lot of women suffer long-term trauma with abortion, and of course it's longer-term than miscarrying (pity they didn't also include women's psychological states after childbirth, the first year of parenting and adoption).

You miscarry, everyone says, "Oh, I am so sorry." This is said whether you wanted to be pregnant, whether you planned to bring a pregnancy to term or not. This is not usually the case with abortion: in part because a lot of women don't -- can't -- tell anyone they have even had an abortion.

You are told again and again that a miscarriage is not your fault. Rarely are women told an abortion is not our fault. We are told miscarriage is okay, because it is out of our control. Because we chose to have an abortion somehow that negates the fact that the systems we l Read more...

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