Skip to main content
I have a question regarding sex but also emotions. I've had the same boyfriend for 3 years and we have haven't had a sexual partner before each other. We love each other greatly but his best friend and me have gotten to know each other better and one night, we kissed. We didn't mean it to happen but it did and it almost happened again but I stopped it the second time around...so when I have sex with my boyfriend, it feels great during the action...but then I always feel down in the dumps right after. Is it because I'm not ready to have sex again until this situation clears my head or am I completely turned off on having sex with my boyfriend? I love him greatly but sometimes I don't feel as sexually attracted to him as I am to his best friend...please help me! Thank you.
I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.
I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.
First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):
This is really important! Okay, I need to know what I need to do to obtain birth control, by myself. My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for a few months but we always used condoms. Properly, I assure you. However, about a month ago, we both came to the conclusion that we wouldn't have vaginal sex anymore cause of how worried we both got about pregnancy risks afterwards. Now we're really wanting to start again. But I really want to get on the pill before we do. I just honestly don't know where to start with that. I have to make an appointment with a doctor right? Well, I don't know where to go for the appointment. The doctor that I've always gone to is like a family doctor and he even delivered me so that would just be awkward cause he's like friends with my mother and everything. And I don't know what to expect from the appointment. I really just wanna go in, get the birth control, and be outta there. But that's probably not the case. So what should I expect? And how much does the appointment, on top of the purchase of the birth control cost? My boyfriend will help with the money of course, but I'm scared if they're gonna do any tests. I've never had a pap smear or anything. It's hard that I have to do this alone. My mother I KNOW won't support me in this. But it's what I've decided to do and it's what I want. So I would appreciate some advice. /: Thank you.
Before I get started, full disclosure: I haven't shaved or depilated anything in nine years and I just don't come in contact with much advertising. (It's amazing what you miss when you fast-forward through commercials and don't buy mainstream magazines.)
That being said, I am appalled by Nair's new ad campaign.
I've been worried recently due to my labia being different sizes and one being rather stretchy. They have also gone darker in colour. Is this normal, different, a medical problem? I have been searching on the internet for some help on whether this is normal or not. Most articles say size difference is normal but this doesn't make the situation any easier for me. Oral sex seems a worrying thought, what if the guy is like "What the hell is up with this... gross... it doesn't look normal to me!" Even when it happens I'm going to worry he's thinking it. There's no way to tell if mine looks normal or not, I can't exactly ask my friends...embarrassing or what!? Anyway, I would be forever grateful for a bit of a suggestion.
Recently, the cost of hormonal forms of birth control such as the pill and the patch, among others, have skyrocketed. At least if you're buying them from a campus health clinic. Up until this year, pharmaceutical companies gave colleges deep discounts on contraception. Time Magazine explains why costs have gone up so much and The Chicago Sun-Times gives an example of the consequences.Read more...