talking

My best friend raped me last year, and I'm just starting to deal with it.

Anonymous asks:

Last summer ('06) I was pressured to sex by my former best friend. I kinda blocked it out and it's come back with full force now. I had a flash back when having sex with my boyfriend about a week ago and that was horrible! Any idea how I can cope with that?
And how do I cope with the feelings of guilt and shame. I really feel like the whole thing was partially my fault.. What happened was that we hadn't seen each other for a year cos he'd moved and when I came to visit we made out. He wanted to go further and I didn't. When I refused to go down on him he spiked me drink and made me do it when I was drunk. Unprotected. (Had STI screening since then, which was all clear...) I just feel like I could've somehow done something. Like keep an eye on my drink or say no more forcefully or just plain fight him off. I don't really know how to deal with this... I hope you can help..

Also, I was talking to a male friend the other day and he thought that men should have an option to legally not be fathers in case of a pregnancy. Like not be obliged to pay for child care and not be a part of the kids life whatsoever. I thought that this was ridiculous, but couldn't come up with any sound reasons why I though so.. It was just a general feeling. If this discussion comes up again what can I say?

We're ready, but are we REALLY ready?

William asks:

Hello, I just turned 16 this summer, and my girlfriend and I have been talking about having sex recently. We just decided that we're ready a couple days ago. But I was just wondering, is there anything I should do, outside of the sex itself? Things like medical exams?

Anal sex, spermicides, lube and the best expert of all.

anonymous asks:

I'm 18, and my girl and I have been going out for a year and we have just recently become sexually active so I have a few questions.
1. Is it okay to use spermicidal lubrication,or a spermicidal condom, because I did research and it may harm my girlfriend. I definately don't want to do that because I truly love her.
2. We've tried anal, and once I ejaculated inside her anus, is that ok? Every time I try anal it hurts her, how do I make it feel good for her? I don't use lube, and I am very careful, and hate seeing her in pain.
3. Is it ok to use water, spit, or saliva for lube to go in her butt?
4. when I eat my girls vagina she really likes it, but I want to get maximum stimulation, how would I do that?
5. Is it ok to have anal sex or will that mess her intestines up at all in any way? I just want to make sure it's safe, okay, and won't harm the love of my life.

How do I make my partner talk about sex?

anonymous asks:

Hi. I have been going out with my girlfriend for about a year. Actually we have this commitment thing going and we really love each other. The thing is that she feels very uncomfortable talking about sex related topics or even talking about kisses. I kind of get frustrated sometimes but never let it out because I understand. What I actually want to ask is how can I make her talk about sex? How can I end this uncomfortableness in her? Please know that she fully confides in me and truly trusts in me as well. Your help will be really appreciated. Thank you.

She likes it when I do for her, but she won't do for me.

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?

He's really into sex... but I'm not so sure.

Anonymous asks:

Hey. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year now and he is really into sex. I am worried about it though. Whenever I'm at his house he always tries to touch me, but I don't want to be tight so I let him. Now he is hinting on sex! I am so embarrassed because I have nobody to speak to this about, my Mum died when I was little so I REALLY don't want to talk to my Dad about sex. Help!!!

Morning sickness/telling from orgasm

KUNJU asks:

I heard that women will vomit as a sign of pregnancy. How many days after an intercourse a women usually vomits? I have another doubt also. How can I realise that my partner had an orgasm? I mean without asking her.

Sexual Negotiation for the Long Haul

Many people in long-term, committed relationships, be it marriage or steady partnership -- no matter their age -- have ideas about sex in partnerships they may not even be aware of. Often we base our ideas of relationships and sexuality on what we see in the media or in movies, on what our parents relationship is like, or on what we imagine, in a perfect world, sex and love to be. Talking about what those ideas are, communicating our feelings honestly, and creating clear limits and honoring them make everyone happier and healthier.

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Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.