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One Bloody Mess: Myths & Realities of Bleeding with First Intercourse

go_warriors_cc asks:

How long after a girl's first time should they bleed for and how heavy should they bleed?

Sex is ... Irritating?

Anonymous asks:

I have been sexually active for about three years now and have always had a problem with irritation after sex. I have recurring urinary tract infections which are now under control with medication, so I always assumed that the irritation was just the beginning of the infections. However, now that the UTIs are under control I have still been experiencing soreness, itchiness, and redness around the vaginal opening. Should I be using a different lubricant or am I allergic to latex? Are there good hypoallergenic lubes and condoms? Also, my boyfriend is on the larger side of the penis spectrum, so I don't know if the problem could be that we don't have an effective enough lube. Please, help!

Love the Glove: 10 Reasons to Use Condoms You Might Not Have Heard Yet

You've probably heard or thought some things about condom use that might be keeping you or others from using them or from using them consistently, and I'm willing to bet you haven't heard everything I'm about to say. Even if you're already using condoms and using them every single time properly, I bet you know someone -- a sibling, a friend, a sexual partner -- who could stand to hear ten great reasons to use condoms.

I Guess You Just Have to Be Prepared to Die!

That's the verbatim response to the question "What if I want to have sex before I get married?" in "No Second Chance," a film that is part of Sex Respect, an abstinence-only program. Sex Respect has a host of other special and oh-so-factual messages for you in their student workbook, including such sparkly gems as:

"A young man's natural desire for sex is already strong due to testosterone...females are becoming culturally conditioned to fantasize about sex as well." (p. 11) Did you know that without cultural conditioning, women don't have any desire for sex? Of course you did. Did you know that women don't have any testosterone in our bodies, too? Note: neither of these things are true. But you knew that already.

"A guy who wants to respect girls is distracted by sexy clothes and remembers her for one thing. Is it fair that guys are turned on by their senses and women by their hearts?" (p. 94) So, when it comes to sex, men don't have emotions and women do

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What's riskier?

Cayannagirl asks:

My Fiance and I have been having sexually active for about a year now, but we don't live together so we don't get to have sex that often, usually only on weekends if we're lucky and get my house to ourselves. We don't use condoms because the latex makes me break out and I haven't started birth control yet because I wasn't sure about what to use and because since both of us are Christian, we thought that if I got on birth control we would have sex more frequently which we didn't want to do since we were trying to keep from doing it too much and thus getting pregnant. Whenever we have sex he pulls it out before he ejaculates, but I've heard that some people still can get pregnant when doing that...is this true? Also, I'm really worried about gaining a lot of weight when I start birth control, because weight is a very big issue for me...is there a birth control that I can use that is effective, but won't cause me to gain a ton of weight?

How well will condoms really work?

Lary2211 asks:

I'm 19 years old. My boyfriend and I want to have sex. He is not a virgin, but I am. The only thing that I'm scared of is getting pregnant. We will use condoms for sure and as my boyfriend has had intercourse before, I'm assuming he knows how to use them. How effective can the condom be to prevent me from getting pregnant since I will be having sex for the first time?

Another issue that is freaking me out is what if the condom tears or comes off? Can I guarantee 100% protection and rely on my boyfriend's experience with condoms? I'm worrying a little bit too much, but I really want to experience sexual intercourse with someone I really love. I would really appreciate your help and advice because I'm in need of some.

Advance Australia....Fair?

Australians let us all rejoice,
For we are young and free.

Not a bad way to start a national anthem, if you ask me. Australians have a long list of reasons to rejoice, when you think about it. Lately though, being young and free hasn't been one of the items on that list. Oh sure, Australia's a first-world democracy, quite wealthy with lovely things like a good education system and mostly public health care. So what am I on about, you might ask, when I say young and free isn't a fitting description?

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You're Not Superman, You Know

It's amazing how well my generation - those in their late teens and early 20's - can distance themselves from topics that have everything to do with us. For example, driving fatalities and alcohol abuse. It's staggering the number of teens who die from car accidents related to substance abuse, as well as those who spend their high school and college years with a beer bottle in hand.

It's even scarier to look at how many teenagers don't know BASIC FACTS about sex and sexuality. This is something I've known for a long time as a Scarleteen staff member, but it doesn't change reality.

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Periods and flushing?

stina54 asks:

Hi, I'm 14-years old and I have a few questions.
1) OK so I first got my period about a year and a half ago, but they come really randomly. When is it probably going to develop a pattern?
2) So last night I had an itch, so I scratched my vagina. A few minutes later I realized that about a half hour earlier, when I went to the bathroom, I flushed the toilet AFTER I washed my hands. Earlier that day, there was a teenage guy over my house that probably did use that bathroom. I also live with my teenage brother and he always uses that bathroom. Is it possible that I could have gotten an STD or even pregnant? I'm really scared and I'm freaking out right now.

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