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Marriage: The Only Right Choice for Everyone...well, except for you. And you. And you.

Who gets left out, ignored, dismissed or denied when someone states that sex, good sex or real intimacy or love should, can or does only happen within the context of monogamous marriage, or when any given couple has only had one spousal sexual or romantic partner in a lifetime?

More than a few people.

  • gay, lesbian or bisexual people in same-sex romantic or sexual partnerships in most parts of the world, including those with families
  • people whose life or committed partnerships are platonic or affectionate friendships, same-sex or opposite-sex, not romantic or sexual marriages
  • people under the legal age to marry
  • those who are or who have been married and who did not or have not found all or any of those things within their marriages
  • rape or incest survivors, when others or culture class rape as sex
  • those who have been married and were abandoned by their spouse
  • couples who are not yet married, and intend to marry but are sexual together now
  • those who are married to someone who has extra
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Was my friend implying I brought my rape on myself?

Jessica asks:

I have been raped on several occasion throughout my youth. I am just now, as a 22-year-old woman dealing with these. My friend recently said to me, "Well since it happened to you once, then you are more susceptible to it happening again." It really offended me to hear this, and I wanted to know if it seems unfair to me to get upset. My whole thought process is, I already blame myself (and I know I shouldn't but what girl doesn't) why would you say something like that implying that I brought this on myself? Is that insensitive of me to feel that way?

Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?

Healthgirl02 asks:

I was given an assignment in health class, asking to get this question answered on your website. I know this is a very common question among teens and thought you could help me and my classmates out. I will be bringing your response to this question into class to discuss with other peers. The question is...Can I get pregnant the first time we do it without protection? I hope to hear back from you very soon considering this is an assignment I need to report back to my health class with this information as soon as possible.

How You Guys -- that's right, you GUYS -- Can Prevent Rape

Rape is often framed as about women, but it's not. Something done TO us really isn't about us. It's the things that we choose to do which are about us, which is why it's such an error for rape to be framed as a women's issue or about women: it's almost always a men's issue and really about men. Find out what men need to know about rape and rapists, what you can do to be sure you have consent with sex, other ways to help with rape prevention, and why your help is so important.

Guttmacher Institute

Advancing sexual and reproductive health worldwide through research, policy analysis and public education.

Birth control credited with drop in teen pregnancy

The dramatic declines in teenage pregnancy rates noted in the United States between 1995 and 2002 were largely due to improved contraceptive use, not to abstinence, a new study shows.

The article goes into far more detail but I just want to point out that this is evidence that teens can and do make responsible choices when choosing to be sexually active. Indeed, contraceptive use accounted for 86% of the drop whereas abstinence can only claim 14%.

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US births to those aged 10 - 14 reaches lowest level since 1946

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said the number of births among girls in this age group dropped 38 percent from 1994 to 2002 alone, even though the number of girls 10 to 14 climbed 16 percent during the same period. CDC researchers attributed the decline to sex education.

"The message is getting across to them. Teens are behaving more responsibly when it comes to sex," said Fay Menacker, at the CDC's National Center for Health Statistics.

The birth rate among girls this young has been declining since 1994, when 12,901 babies were born to mothers ages 10 to 14.

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A Calm View from the Eye of the Storm: Hysteria, Youth and Sexuality

When we look in the mirror as a culture, our tendency toward hysteria always seems to hover in our communal blind spot. We’re not very good at seeing when groups with a political or social agenda are manipulating us with fear, often the unreasonable, irrational fear of the taboo.

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