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Losers Can Be Awesome: a Lesson Brought to You by the Chicago Cubs

Just yesterday, I journaled something for myself, and then this morning, I woke up, went to our boards, and more than one of our users seemed to be in a headspace like I was before I wrote it. And that's not at all unusual around here, or for a lot of young people right now, period. The pressures young people feel now, and often have in generations of yore, to get everything right can be immense and really overwhelming. And it can be easy to get the idea that those pressures are right or healthy when, in fact, they're not in a lot of ways. We're all just people here: we are not perfect, and we are going to mess up sometimes, or not hit our high bars. It's an integral part of the human condition. And it really is okay, I swear.

So, I'm going to share in the hopes that my process in this might help you out.

Your humble host here, as you may have picked up on from time to time, is a bit of an overachiever, and has been since she was a young person. One of my big challenges in life h

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Something About Olives. (Really. It's so totally about olives.)

Last night at dinner, my partner was telling me about a story on NPR that afternoon. I was sure I hadn't heard it, yet it felt so terribly, completely familiar, as if I had not only heard it once before, but a million times.

The NPR story was titled, "Your Olive Oil May Not Be The Virgin It Claims." Maybe it sounds a little familiar to you, too:

The next time you reach for a bottle of extra-virgin olive oil, beware. A new study from the University of California- Davis claims more than two-thirds of random samples of imported so-called extra-virgin olive oil don't make the grade.

To be extra-virgin, olive oil can't be rancid or doctored with lesser oils... many of the 14 major brands failed certain tests.
"It's become a very sophisticated practice, the adulteration of olive oil throughout the world," Shoemaker says. He says the lab can prove defects, degradation and dilution in olive oil beyond what human taste buds can figure out. The lab testing zeroes in on specific flaws.
There's

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Am I normal? Who cares?

Anonymous asks:

Am I/is he/is she/is this/are we normal?

Am I normal? Who cares?

Am I/is he/is she/is this/are we normal?

As anyone who works in sex education or sexuality can tell you, when it comes to the questions people ask us, variations on the theme of "Am I normal?" reign supreme.

I just spent a half hour going through our advice question queue, doing a search on each page for the word "normal." At the moment, we have around 55 pages of unanswered questions. There's five to fifteen questions on each page. I found only two pages where there was not at least one question with the term "normal" in it; where the heart of the question wasn't "Am I -- or is he, she or ze -- normal?"

Some questions about normality are really about health. That's a little different. Of course, from my view, that's also less about normal and more about healthy. If, for instance, someone has delayed puberty but no health issues they need to address causing it, then it doesn't really matter if it's normal because that person is healthy and not in need of healthcare or lifestyle change

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My culture insists on virginity: did I break my hymen with masturbation?

prince_12 asks:

I hope you would be able to answer my message as soon as possible. It is very urgent. I have passed through the site and decided of asking you some questions maybe you could help me. I am an Indian girl. My age is 26 and I never had ever sexual intercourse because it is against our traditions here. A girl is not allowed until she is married. I never ever masturbated using machines or finger. I never ever touched my area down before. I even never knew anything about girls and guys masturbation. Here we are not taught about sex issues. I entered accidentally one of the sex sites and most probably out of curiousity about a new thing, depression, and much free time. I started chatting dirty(no voice) with these guys and I watched some. I never did this before in my whole life really. I noticed that i gave water from under when I chatted dirty or watched a guy and I become very jelly like down there. I really never knew this is masturbation i am really ignorant about that. I did this only about two months but I chatted and masturbated several times in a day.

To shave or not to shave? Here's the answer.

soccerplayagirl asks:

To shave or not to shave? Rather a drama queen way to ask a question but there it is. My boyfriend wants to have oral sex with me, and I am fine with that, but he is asking if I can shave my hair down there. Now I thought that was a bad idea, because I remember hearing something about the hair being a ventilation system for you and helps prevent infection. However, I would like to do something but what? Trim? Or is shaving really not that bad? What is healthiest?

Can a guy be just as attracted to a fat girl as a "hot" girl?

Ash asks:

I am 21 and very pretty, but also very overweight. Close to 200lbs. I don't look TOO bad as my weight is well proportioned, very large hips, bottom and bust, but smaller waist and relatively slim face. Recently a guy has expressed a serious romantic interest in me. I know that he is usually attracted to much smaller girls and I find it very difficult to believe that he could really be attracted to me. Is it possible, for a guy who could very easily get a very "hot" girl, to be attracted to a pretty girl who is very fat?

How can a girl protect herself if she doesn't marry a guy she intercoursed, but someone else?

anonymous asks:

It is usually said that after an intercourse, a female vaginal membrane got broken and hence the blood comes out of vagina, it is also said that this blood comes out only for the first time of intercourse. This blood is the only proof with a girl that she's a virgin.

Please explain me either all these facts are right. If a girl had a sex before marriage and lost her virginity and by the time she realized that intercourse is not the right thing before marriage and abstains from doing it again, can she be develop again? What are the ways of recovering. How can a girl protect herself if she doesn't marry a guy she intercoursed, but someone else?

Is liking how the anus smells perverted?

Sarika asks:

Delicate matter. My boyfriend and I both enjoy anal sex - that isn't the problem. He also tells me that he likes the smell of my anus (I should point out that this is after I've bathed - nothing to do with feces). When I masturbate I too like the scent of my anus but to hear him say it made me feel embarrassed. I told a friend, but she just said it was perverted and weird and reckons I should tell him that. I know sex is a personal matter, but am I that unusual?

Managing Vulnerability & Sexual Insecurity

Worried asks:

Hi I'm 15 years old (male) and I want to wait till I find someone I really like before I have sex, but I want them to be a virgin too. I'm worried that if I wait too long all the pretty girls will have had sex and I won't be good at it yet, I'm worried that if they've already had sex that I won't be good enough for them, what should I do?

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