The Fourteenth of February is a day that can conjure up various feelings, depending on the person and the context. Often people fall into two V-Day camps: those who delight in the sweet celebration and those who wish it were February 14th that happens only once every four years.
However, for all the Hallmark-Holiday haters and loathsome lonely-hearts, I love Valentine’s Day in all its kitschy, cuddly, glittery glory. I don’t see it as a day reserved for couples, clichés and commercialization; instead I see it as a celebration of love for family, friends, pets, partners, and… ourselves. After all, as empowered drag queen diva RuPaul says so well himself on his reality show: “If you don't love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else?”
Of course, Scarleteen’s here to give you some love in the form of information whether you’re flying solo, dancing a pas de deux or ballin' with your buds today. So, hand me a virtual pink-iced cupcake, generously sprinkled with a number of Scarleteen urls, and let’s dig in!
Love
What exactly is love? Well, that’s an age old question but we have some advice for you. It’s something you can feel for a romantic-sexual partner— or partners— but it’s not limited to just that even if all the Valentine's commercials might make you start to think otherwise. Still, it can be good to know when to take a positive relationship risk, recognize you need not be limited by geographic distance, that you can reconcile your religious beliefs with your relationship, that you can find balance amongst the various parts of you, that you’re just fine the way you are— in the body you’re in, that age doesn’t have to be a limitation, that relationships can change over time— and it's ok, that you can not just survive but thrive, that you can find a relationship thatworks for you, and that even when something doesn’t work out as you may have wished, there’s certainly no need for despair because if you're good to yourself and those around you, something good will come along you way sooner or later.
Sexuality
There’s no better day than today to start taking pleasure in your sexuality, be it alone or with a partner. Trade stigma for empowerment, and know when a bunch of baloney is just that. However, for all the frolicking and the fun, be sure to play it safe because you wouldn’t want VD, now known as STIs, playing any part in your V-Day: don’t fear, just love the glove and get tested regularly.
Solidarity
You can also at Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to thank those who have supported you as well as a chance to help others. Whether you do it person or give an anonymous shout-out at the message boards, you really can’t say thank you enough. It also could be a chance to reach out and be a buddy to someone in need or make amends with family and friends if you’ve found it hard to empathize and accept them in the past. Plus, there are so many ways to lend a hand, whether you’re thinking Haiti or your hometown, you can step forward and stand up for what you believe in: show others you truly give a buck about what’s important to you!
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Lena, formerly known at the blog as Femke, is a Scarleteen volunteer and creator and editor of the Spotlight on Scarleteen blog feature that helps readers get to know the site content and people who create it better. To read more Spotlights, click here. If you've read the Spotlight series in the Scarleteen blog in the past, you may have noticed the almost-brand spanking new logo created just for you, drawn by Lena and made shiny by Jacob.
Nearly a month into 2010, we hope your new year has been and continues to be happy, healthy, and all-around awesome. Have you set any New Year Resolutions this year? We have and would like to share them with you!
Over 1000 Scarleteen users are doing just that! Since December 19th and as of yesterday, 1001 visitors to the Scarleteen website have voted in the poll: Which of these is the best sexuality-based New Year's resolution for you? A lot of people will choose resolutions, such as exercising more, getting better grades, and quitting smoking. Those are all noteworthy goals, and big accomplishments when realized, but how about aiming to exercise safer sex all the time, acing a “quiz” of your own anatomy, and quitting bad body image and sexual shame? By setting a sexuality-related resolution, you’re focusing on an important part of you that often doesn’t get the attention (or praise!) it deserves.
THE RESULTS! We’re going to share the results here along with some recommended reading and some teen sex and sexuality-related statistics from the Guttmacher Institute, the Bureau of Justice, Outproud/Oasis, and ChildTrends Databank. All text and statistics following the “Did you know?” heading are directly quoted from the page on what Scarleteen Is.
BE HEARD! In addition to casting their vote, many Scarleteeners have also explained their choice. We encourage you to scroll down to read their resolutions after crunching the numbers.
The poll offered 13 sexuality-based New Years resolutions to choose from: Improving body image and ditching sexual shame came out on top with 18% of all votes. Enjoying oneself more got second place with 14% of the vote, while using birth control or safer sex practices better and seeking out truly desired sexual relationships tied for third place with 11% each. Here is a more specific and all-inclusive break down of the results:
1. To improve my body image and/or ditch sexual shame 18% (182 votes)
Did you know? The National Eating Disorders Association estimates that 81% of 10-year-olds are afraid of being fat and between 5-10 million girls and women and 1 million boys and men are struggling with eating disorders including anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or borderline conditions.
One author reports that at age thirteen, 53% of American girls are "unhappy with their bodies." This grows to 78% by the time girls reach seventeen (Brumberg, 1997).
For further reading, we recommend: An Immodest Proposal and Seven Ways to Love Your Body
2. To enjoy myself more 14% (144 votes)
Did you know? For many teens, sexual information is more often given in a context of sexual entertainment, peer-to-peer bragging or flirtation, and these approaches not only often result in inaccurate information, but in enabling a context of sexual commodity, shame or pressure around sexuality, as well as sexual stereotypes and cultural ideals or collective cultural fears. This given, our approach at Scarleteen is to be friendly and personable, rather than cold or clinical, but to come to sexual education and information in a professional, respectful way, with care for diverse boundaries and viewpoints.
For further reading, we recommend: 10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age) and Yield for Pleasure
3. To better use birth control or safer sex practices 11% (106 votes)
Did you know? Of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs each year, 9.1 million (48%) occur among 15-24-year-olds. Although 15-24-year-olds represent only one-quarter of the sexually active population, they account for nearly half of all new STIs each year. Half of new HIV infections (about 20,000) each year occur among youth aged 15-24.
Of the approximately 750,000 teen pregnancies that occur each year, 82% are unintended.
For further reading, we recommend: Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To and Birth Control Bingo!
3. To seek out the kind of sexual relationships I truly want 11% (113 votes)
Did you know? By their 18th birthday, six in 10 teenage women and more than five in 10 teenage men have had heterosexual intercourse. More than one-half of all teens ages 15 to 19 report engaging in oral sex (55 percent of males and 54 percent of females in 2002).
For further reading, we recommend: Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist, Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models, and Sexual Negotiation for the Long Haul
5. To learn more about my own sexual body and self 10% (105 votes)
Did you know? Knowing, too, that the reality of the way youth most often gets sexuality information -- peer-to-peer -- we do our level best to both moderate discussion to help aid youth in learning how to inform each other better, and do what we can to empower youth to research smartly, ask questions, avoid stereotyping, and communicate with and educate one another with sensitivity and compassion.
For further reading, we recommend: Pink Parts - Female Sexual Anatomy, Man's Best Friend - Male Sexual Anatomy, and With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body
If you're a regular reader of the Scarleteen blog, then you're probably already familiar with her fierce, fantastic, and, yes, frisky blog entries: Mary C. a.k.a. Mary Lingwall may be a relatively new arrival at Scarleteen, but she's already made quite a splash with some strong stories. Not afraid to push the envelope, Mary's posts are a mixture of fresh personal narrative, social commentary, and academic comparative that is tasty and easy to swallow-- just what the empowered sex-positive educator ordered!
In her first piece, "From Closeted to Comfortable", we accompany her on her journey from the closet as a reluctant masturbator to her dorm bathroom where she unabashedly washes her dildos while holding court with friends. However, that post is not just fun to read but even manages to connect the assiduous with the intense. Mary asserts that she can, indeed, feel comfortable with her whole self, sexual or not. She credits resources like Scarleteen for "reminding me that my sex life is not my defining characteristic and that being kinky doesn’t equate to being degenerate." Then, in "Vajayjays," "Lady Parts" & "Aunt Flow", Mary takes Oprah to task for pussyfooting around using the correct terminology for female genitalia. Indeed, if "even Oprah... who has recently been one of the most beneficially outspoken contenders in the push for medically accurate, full-body sexual education for adolescents... can't say the word "vagina" without becoming uncomfortable", then is it any wonder that it's so hard for legions of girls and young women to do the same? In her most recent entry, Mary explores the intersection between "Feminism and Facials", or how even in the sex-positive feminist blogosphere, certain sexual acts can make people cringe or cry out with contempt; Mary provides an excellent overview on the topic, summarizing many of the pieces out there and stating her opinion, then ultimately leaving it up to the readers to decide where they stand.
Mary is not just a thought-provoking but also a prolific writer. In addition to occasionally blogging at Scarleteen, Mary is a junior Plan II Honors and History major at the University of Texas at Austin, where she can also be found reaching out to her peers as a Healthy Sexuality Peer Educator for UT’s health services, chairing Campus Coalition for Sexual Literacy, and writing for the Daily Texan. While she's currently on hiatus from Scarleteen, hardly surprisingly considering all the great things on her plate, you don't have to wait to read new material if you head over to her DT sex column "Hump Day” or check out her personal journal at Pink Lip Pariah.
I absolutely adore each of those pieces of hers here at Scarleteen and eagerly anticipate the topics Mary will cover in the future; I am also proud to share this recent interview with Scarleteen right now.
If that's a yes, then you know about all the great content and discussions there are to join in on. If it's a no, then there's no better time than now to click over there, check things out, and add your piece!
The message boards provide a platform to not only address specific concerns but also post in threads about your experiences, share Scarleteen-related information from outside sources, and just chat with a purpose with some friendly folks from around the world.
Here are some discussions -- old and new -- that you may find interesting to read. You might even find yourself so inspired to join in, which is great because we'd love to have you!
The best things YOU do for your body and soul!
Experiences With Therapy
Anxiety Busters
Starting college or university this Fall and looking for some support?
Birth Control Experiences (Quick Reference)
Post-Breakup Helps
Meeting People Online
The Venting Room: Tell Adults to Stuff It
First Dates and Expectations
Are you/have you been in foster care?
Why Come Out? Why Not?
Looking for support in accepting LGBT friends, family and partners?
Caster Semenya
Your favourite Queer films?
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What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.
This Spotlight on Scarleteen blog entry focuses on a very special section of Scarleteen's main site: In Your Own Words features real, honest-to-goodness first-person narratives written for you, by you, on a range of sex and sexuality-related topics from A(bortion) to Z(aftig celebration.) Even if you have already seen this section before, it's worth stopping by again as new articles and perspectives are added regularly!
Here's a sampling of our current offerings, grouped by topic for your convenience! However, at this point we have 28-and-counting unique accounts by individual users, volunteers, and people on the 'net much like yourself.
It's Between God and Me
So sure she'd "wait until marriage" for sex growing up, swgal found herself at odds with this aspect of her Christian upbringing once she had entered college. She shares how her spiritual and sexual journey intersect. At times they seems to clash or crash but ultimately she finds a way to take the Path Less Traveled and peace with both.
First-Time Intercourse: It Was...Good?
If there were a Scout badge for Being Prepared for Your First Sexual Experiences, halfwish would totally get it, hands-down. She shares her positive experiences with First Time Intercourse, before, during and after. She and her cool boyfriend J. occupy the starring roles, while her informative GP and accepting mum take on supporting ones. This piece, along with our Sex Readiness Checklist, make for two "must-read" articles for people actively anticipating new sexual experiences.
Me & HSV
For many people, the initial diagnosis of an STI like herpes or genital warts can feel like a cataclysmic event. However, these STIs need not be a rain cloud over your sex life; while these very common viruses cannot be cured, with education and understanding these viruses can be well-managed. And, as author Kat Giordano so awesomely points out, life with herpes truly can be as great as those cheesy Valtrex commercials lead us to believe!
Frankenboobs
One day you wake up to find yourself with two very differently sized breasts... this may sound like like fodder for a science fiction flick but it was reality for author Audra Williams. Read about how she came to terms with them. Hint: It may be different than what you expect.
Hair, There and Everywhere
Scarleteen has a message board policy of not dispensing advice on shaving because we think body hair is just fine and what you do with it is a personal decision. However, we no longer live in an era like the 70s where a chest full of hair on men was considered desirable by many. Nicole is female and doesn't harbor any wishes for a 70s hair comeback, but she would like to accept that a beautiful head of hair doesn't usually just stop there.
My Body & Me"
Mortality shares her story about developing and dealing with an eating disorder. Because while disorders like anorexia and bulimia may appear to be about food intake, what's eating people is really so much more complicated. Find about her road to recovery and how she now happily can wear a miniskirt out clubbing.
More In Your Own Words synopses coming soon on the topics of Rape, Abuse and Injury; Pregnancy, Parenting, and Abortion; and Activism and Empowerment.
...and if reading about other people's experiences has inspired you to share an anecdote from your life, we invite you to do so here Scarleteen by clicking on the following: In Your Own Words: How to Speak Up! It can be something new that you write on the spot or an old piece you published on your blog or in your paper journal. We look forward to hearing from you!
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What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.
When it comes to your average American sex education class, for all the talk about possible risks associated with sex, people seem to forget to mention all the positive aspects, the crazy-sexy-cool things that can make sex fun and enjoyable!
Obviously, sex must not be all bad if the vast majority of people have sex at some point in their adult lives; in fact, it must be pretty darn good. However, even in settings that offer comprehensive sex ed, the idea that sex can be fun and pleasurable often gets downplayed.
Not unsurprisingly, a lot of people are having unfulfilling, displeasurable, guilt-ridden and downright bad sex. Fortunately, there is a lot of support out there to help people overcome all the negativity. As important as these services may be, if sex ed were more sex-positive, I would imagine we could vastly reduce the need for repairs and revisions: We would know what a positive sexual relationship looks like and not settle for any less. We'd know how to reduce the risk of pregnancy and STIs so we could focus on the pleasure and partnership. Instead of a band-aid to patch up an old wound, we could avoid many such pains in the first place.
Scarleteen aims to do just that: We seek to educate and empower young people to become familiar and comfortable with their unique sexualities so we all can make the decisions to have a healthy and happy sexual life right from the start, whether it's with a long-term partner, a one-night-stand or even just ourselves. With resources such as the Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist (now also available auf Deutsch thanks to volunteer Joey), we provide you with the tools for positive sex life.
Let's get on with listing of sex-positive articles, blog entries, and message board threads here at Scarleteen for your aural and ocular pleasure!
Articles
- 10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age)
- An Immodest Proposal
- A Calm View from the Eye of the Storm: Hysteria, Youth and Sexuality
- Reciprocity, Reloaded
- Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To
- Supermodel: Creating & Nurturing Your Own Best Relationship Models
- To Be... AWESOME or Just Be –– Tips on Making the Most of Your Life Right Now!
- Yield for Pleasure
Blog entries
- Shameless
Scarleteen founder Heather Corinna packs a punch with the statement, "When I was a teenager, having sex wasn't really part of my rebellion. Having GOOD sex was." And those are just the first two lines of this powerful piece.
- From Closeted to Comfortable
In her blog debut, Maryc talks about going from creeped-out to crazy about her sexuality (and how's not afraid to safety first and modesty second when washing vibrators!)
- "This Information will Not Kill You" or, How Our Whole Lives Changed My Life"
Owls are considered to be wise animals; likewise, the United Church of Christ and the Unitarian Universalist-developed OWL sexuality education program offers a wise and refreshing take on sex ed for teens. Find out why Annakohl gives a hoot about OWL!
- Good Sex in non-zero
Site volunteer and engineer-to-be Jacob does the math to show that good sex is no mystery equation.
Message Board Threads
Are you one of the over 41,500-and-counting users on the Scarleteen message boards? If not, there's no better time than now to join in on the conversation! Sure, a lot of people come to the boards for advice but there are also ample opportunities to exchange experiences and share ideas. What's your take on...
- How do you feel about sex being...fun?
Read the thread that is the inspiration for this Spotlight! See what Heather, curiousitykat5869, StrangePudding, Jill2000Plus, libertinedreamer, Bragorien, Onionpie, So_Very_Nieve, Asian, nanswer4me, Anne Marie, Hohum, gluegun, meladie, and OneQuestion have said about what makes sex fun for them. What makes sex fun for you?
- What does a healthy relationship look and feel like?
Scarleteen volunteer orca encourages us to think positively and wax ecstatic on how happy a healthy relationship can be and how to know what to look for.
- I Love You
Those three little words that can have so much meaning. Find out what users have said about saying them and say your bit, too!
- Scarleteen Testimonials
Simply share the love for this site!
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What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.
If you've ever come to the Scarleteen message boards in a jam or just happen to like reading up on expert sex ed advice, then chances are you already know Karyn a.k.a. Karybu from her compassionate, knowledgeable, and very personalized responses in Ask Scarleteen or Emergencies and Crises. In fact, since 2004, Karyn has been lending her ear and dolling out advice at Scarleteen. Since then, Karyn has earned her college degree, turned her volunteer work here into an awesome career and moved halfway across the world for love, but she still finds time to return to her beloved online home-away-from-home, Scarleteen.
As caring and compassionate as Karyn is, there's so much more to this multifaceted "child of the universe," as she once so fittingly called her personal thread on the boards. To continue a theme of alliteration, some other choice "c" words that come to mind to describe Karyn include Canadian, coffee-loving, committed, curious, and creative.
A Canadian citizen who currently calls Queensland, Australia home, Karyn was born in Ottawa but grew up mostly in Minnesota, then headed to British Columbia for university, and currently resides in Queensland, Australia. Committed to those near and dear to her, whether close or afar, Karyn makes sure to keep up with her great friends and supportive family in Canada despite the 17 hour time difference!
Karyn has a natural curiosity and genuine thirst for knowledge, be it reading everything she can get her hands on or planning on earning her PhD and becoming a professor one day.
Speaking of thirst, Karyn is quite the coffee-connoisseur, so much, in fact, that her board username was inspired by one popular coffee chain.
As for names, creative could be her middle name. Through mediums such as dance and photography, Karyn likes to express herself through visual, kinestitic, and verbal mediums. While I have not yet met her in person, I have vouch for Karyn's eye for photos as well as her sparkling eyes and bright smile which so clearly display her authentic affability.
In addition to her valuable responses in the expert areas of the board, Karyn has started many neat discussion topics, such as one on the Pros and Cons of Universal Health Care, another on dealing with mental illness, and this one that encourages users to share the sweet, simple things in their lives. Karyn also posted her first blog entry last week, a first of a series on her experiences with the Implanon birth control device.
Head chef at Scarleteen Heather Corinna has cooked up yet another tasty new article for you: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul.
Who: You (or your girlfriend or your best friend or your sister or that random woman over there...)
What: Are concerned / worried / scared / convinced and freaked out that you might be pregnant.
Where: The fear can strike anywhere: In the school cafeteria, on the bus ride home, at a friend’s sleepover, during softball practice, etc.
When: Anytime after having some sort of sexual activity.
Why: You used some form of reliable birth control properly but you just have a hunch you could/should/would be pregnant.
How: You notice one or more of these symptoms: A missed, lighter, or shorter menstrual period than usual; breast tenderness or enlargement; nipple sensitivity; frequent urination; feeling unusually tired; nausea and/or vomiting; feeling bloated; cramps; increased or decreased appetite; feeling more emotional than usual.
But sometimes maybe it is really is something harmless and totally unrelated: Because those spoiled spinach really can make you, well, toss your tossed salad. Yeah, you really can get that nervous before a test. And staying up all night for two days straight does eventually catch up with you.
The article intends to help you relax and realize why you’re probably not pregnant. It also gives some tips on how to avoid pregnancy, explains what so-called surefire pregnancy signs can actually be, provides advice on buying home pregnancy kits, shows why OD-ing on internet self-diagnosis can be bad, and tells what to do should you indeed be pregnant.
Enough said, enough read: One order of Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul coming up!
Here are some more resources we’d like to offer you:
Wanna see how you can be prepared for sexual encounters (and thus sidestep such freakouts!)
Wanna hear more first-person accounts of being pregnant or a young parent or having an abortion?
Wanna hear about other people’s experiences with pregnancy scares?
Wanna see how your interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships can affect how you’re feeling about sex (e.g. reasons why you might be freaking out more than “necessary” about this?)
Wanna get your mind off pregnancy altogether with some random-but-related empowerment?
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What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.
If you’re a regular at the main site, you may have already seen these two new articles: An Immodest Proposal by Heather Corinna and Let's Get Metaphysical: The Etiquette of Entry by CJ Turett and Heather Corinna. But if you haven’t gotten a chance to check them out yet, there’s a brief introduction to both.
Heather Corinna’s article, An Immodest Proposal by Heather Corinna, excerpted from the 2008 anthology, Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and A World Without Rape, is a modern-day fractured fairy tale about first-time sex-- revisited and revamped!
If Heather were to moonlight as a song lyricist, instead of saying a half-hearted “Oops!”, pop princess Britney Spears would be singing, “Yea, I did it again… and can’t wait to do it again and again!” In her Proposal, Heather conjures up an ideal sexual world that is not just free of rape and violence against women, but one where women and girls are free to express desire and initiate fulfilling sexual experiences. An Immodest Proposal is sure to inspire and empower with its mudluscious imagery, tasty wording, and homage to fist-pumping 80’s power ballads. To borrow from ACDC, for those about to rock sexual stereotypes and shake traditional gender roles all lifelong, we salute you! And for those about to read, we encourage you!
When you hear the word etiquette, you may think of old-school guru Miss Manners telling you to always say “Please, Thank-You and You’re Welcome!” or you may hear a nagging voice at the dinner table telling you to chew with your mouth closed and say “Excuse me!” when you burp. However annoying that may be in practice or antiquated at some point, the basic idea behind etiquette is timeless: Etiquette helps us feel comfortable in our various social surroundings. People may not think of cracking open an old manners book before sex, but what is sex other than an intense social interaction where you and yours want to be as comfortable as possible?!
Fingering, fellatio, anal sex and vaginal intercourse-- talk about very up-close-and-personal interactions where you’re really opening yourself up to others! While you may not be able to turn to the original Miss Manners for advice here, but you know you can rely on Scarleteen. We now have our very own shiny and brand-new online sexual etiquette guide, written just for you by Sexpert CJ Turett and Scarleteen Founder and Director Heather Corinna. When you talk about personal space, many, many forms of partnered sex are quite up close and personal. In fact, a large part of sex is physically entering someone else’s body, their personal space, their realm; it can be amazing and awe-inspiring or just flat-out uncomfortable. For hints for enjoying more of the former than the latter as well as loads of introspective ideas to wrap your head around, please join us in getting metaphysical!
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What is Spotlight on Scarleteen? Find out more by clicking here.
Happy New Year to you!
We hope your 2009 is happy, healthy, and downright fantastic. These may be hard times, but there’s still so much to be grateful for and glad about— plus, there’s no better time than now for you to take action and make a difference!
I’m sure you have a lot of positive things to look forward to –- friends, family, school, work, hobbies, and more. If you’re not feeling too hot about what’s to come, that’s a great reason to begin brainstorming ideas. You can start right here at Scarleteen: With over ten years of providing comprehensive, inclusive and original sex education to millions of young adults under its belt, you know you can turn to Scarleteen for new articles, new blog entries, new discussions, and more in 2009. (As always, your support is greatly appreciated-- you're what keeps us around!)
Let’s take a step back to review some of the oldies-but-goodies at the site. In this Spotlight on Scarleteen blog entry, we will be highlighting some of our all-time favorite articles!
Since founding Scarleteen in 1998, Director and Designer Heather Corinna has penned many a informative, interesting, and empowering article for the site. Since then, she has been joined by a number of staff, volunteer, user, and guest writers and still regularly produces new pieces. Here’s a list!
Speaking of which, you are welcome to write an article, too, for the In Your Own Words section. Check out the current offerings, on topics from A – age disparate relationships to Z – well, make it HSV, and then read up on How to Speak Up!
What do you think were some of the biggest articles in 2008? Here’s a hint to help jog your memory: think of one Godzilla-inspired creature that’s to be loved, not feared (and we’re not talking purple dinosaurs here); a piece on tough guys standing up for what’s right (no pumping iron or bootcamp-style training regiments required!); another on giving lip (in a good way, of course!); and, finally, is that a protractor in your pocket or you just happy to see size put into perspective? Are you feeling lucky right now (or completely lost)?
That’s right, the most popular articles this past year include:
Recently, Scarleteen staff and volunteers were asked to name their all-time Scarleteen articles. There are so many great pieces from, but we were able to narrow it down to the following:
Abbie (USA): I love Be A Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner. The first few sexual encounters with a new partner can be so nerve wracking; I've read this article so many times, it's really pretty irreplaceable advice. Even those who've gotten comfortable with their partner can learn a thing or two!
Femke (USA): My personal favorite is 10 of the Best Things You Can Do for Your Sexual Self (at Any Age) by Heather Corinna. I love the upbeat tone and great suggestions that apply to literally everyone! I also am a big fan of No Big Deal: Sex and Disability by Clare Sainsbury, because it sheds light on a topic that may seem taboo to discuss yet truly applies to us all, regardless of (dis)abilities.
Jacob (UK): Very gritty for a "favourite", but in terms of something I appreciate more than enjoy I'd say Heather's Article on How Guys Can Prevent Rape is a hugely important article to me and to the conversations of gender as a whole; pointing to where prevention of rape and abuse really needs to come from. The Bi The Dozen Quiz mythbuster by Hanne Blank is fantastic. I've also read Malcolm Gin's article on sex, gender, intersex and Klinefelter's Syndrome a number of times, it's so brilliantly clear about topics around which I've struggled to summarize on my own..
Joey (EU): The article I find the best and most useful is the Sex Readiness Checklist. I really wish I'd had that around when I first became sexually active! :)
Lauren (FIN): I think I like the very best I Want IT NOW!, the baby article, because it is sensitive to the various needs girls in that situation have (wanting love/attention/validation of maturity) while telling them firmly but gently that it's extremely misplaced. It realizes that some girls do have genuine desires to have a kid, and doesn't talk down to them for having that choice, either.
I also love our volunteer Alice's piece, The Reality of New Mommyhood, because she is such a strong person and writer, and is brave enough to be real about her experiences parenting young without being yippy-skippy nor doom-and-gloom. I really think she gave a voice to moms who are to scared to tell anyone about their feelings when their kid has colic.
Maggie (CAN): It's difficult for me to pick only one Scarleteen article as a favorite because the truth is I like them all and find that each of them are really helpful and deals with different topics which are as important one another in my opinion. But here's 3 of my favorites that I'd like to share with you guys :
''Vagzilla ! (Or, All genitals great and small)'' because I find that this article makes me feel great about my body and helps me to accept it just the way it is with its own uniqueness.
''Ready or not ? The Sex Readiness Checklist'' because it really help you reconsider whether or not you are truly ready to start becoming sexually active. It can pretty easy sometimes to assume that we're ready for sex when in reality we're not and we're missing some important items on the checklist. Or, in other cases, it can be difficult for some people to determine whether or not they are really ready for sex and that article might therefore be of huge help since it's exactly for that.
I am also a fan of the article entitled ''From OW to WOW ! Demystifying painful intercourse'' because pain during intercourse is something that a lot of women will experience at least one in their life and a lot are worried about it and wondering what could be the possible culprits and this article just happens to list them all pretty clearly with some explanations.
I could list them all but I think I'll stop right here.
Stephanie (USA): I am personally a huge fan of "Be A Blabbermouth! The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner." It seems to me that everone can use a reminder about how important communication is, even the other volunteers and myself. One common theme in many of my responses is, "Communication is the key to any relationship, especially a sexual relationship."
Véro (CAN): Personally, I love the Birth Control Bingo article. It's just so informative and awesome. It's fun to go through it too. I've learned so much about all the different methods of birth control and it's helped me make decisions about what would suit my needs. I also think First Intercourse 101 is great. I remember reading it a few times before I became sexually active, and how it helped me have more realistic expectations. I think it's actually the first article I found on this site!
Already familiar with all the articles mentioned in the blog or did you pick up any title to add to your reading list?
Did they mention any of your favorites?
Please join in the discussion by listing your favorite article below and telling us why. We’d love to hear from you!
In the meantime, may all be well and fine in 2009 — we’ll see you around the site!
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