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Navigating Sexuality as a Fat Teen

Some thoughts and tips on navigating sexuality as a fat teen, and dealing with sizeism and fatphobia.



I want to give my boyfriend oral sex, but he's embarrassed and won't let me. What should I do?

Emma1913 asks:

I'm 13 and so is my boyfriend. I know we shouldn't be doing this kind of stuff at this age but just a couple weeks ago we started getting a little more "touchy" and one thing led to another and he started "eating me out".

Well I want to give him a blowjob but he's scared that I won't like "it" because he thinks it's small and he's embarrassed. What should I do? Also, is it normal to start having sexual intercourse at 16 or 17?

Condoms Breaking? Ur Probably Doin It Wrong.

As we've explained in the past, like here, with proper use, condoms actually break very rarely. The common mythology that condoms are flimsy and break all the time is just that: mythology, not reality. Different studies on latex condom breakage tend to reflect a breakage rate of around .4%, or only 4 breaks in every 1,000 uses. So, if you're having condoms break often, especially before you've even used them a few hundred times, it's not likely something is wrong with condoms, but that something is wrong with the way you're using them. That's not surprising, since a lot of people don't get good information about how to use condoms correctly, or ever see clear, slow demonstrations of proper use where they also get the chance to ask questions.

Since we've been having some users lately reporting patterns of breakage, we thought we'd take a few minutes to walk you through a review of some common issues that tend to make breakage more likely, so that those of you using condoms can avoid br


The Scarleteen Do-It

Feeling low about your body and how it looks? Thinking about, or already doing, some drastic things to try and change it? You're not alone. But you can get to a better place with your body and how you feel about it without doing anything that keeps you feeling just as bad, or puts your physical or mental health at risk. Here's some ways to ditch the die(t)s and go for the happy, healthy do's.


The last few weeks I've been contemplating if my labia are bigger than my ears.

My partner became aware that this was on my mind because every few days she'd hear me murmur, "You know, I think my labia are bigger than my ears!"

From the look on her face I could tell she was trying to picture what my labia looked like, and then she'd peer at my ears. "Surely not. Of course they're fabulous, but I don't think they're that big."

"But I mean, fully stretched out, not just dangling."
Then she'd say, "Yeah, they could be. Should we measure?"


How can I help my girlfriend see how beautiful she really is?

Jacob asks:

My girlfriend is uncomfortable being naked around me. She is beautiful and I love the way she looks. If she could see what I see, she would be more comfortable. What can I do to make her feel better?

Abreast: The Basics of Boobies

What are breasts made of? What's normal for nipples? Is something wrong with me if my breasts aren't sensitive? Can someone who isn't pregnant lactate? Do I need a bra? Why aren't my boobs bigger? Sit back, take a load off and have a read for these answers and more.

Betty Dodson's Vulva Illustrations

Want some idea of the wide variety there is in vulval appearance? Betty Dodson lets us show you her beautiful vulva illustrations at Scarleteen. (If you're in a public place or using a shared computer, know that these are intended for educational purposes, but are explicit sexual anatomy illustrations: clicking will give you -- or anyone else nearby -- a clear eyeful of vulva.)

I'm too ugly and fat for him and I can't take it anymore.

Anonymous asks:

I recently turned 24 and I have never been in a real relationship. I am in love with my best friend, with whom I have had a very interesting and painful 4 year friendship. He took my virginity at the age of 21, and he is one of 2.5 guys I have slept with; he is the only one I have hooked up with more than a couple times. He has cheated on two different girl friends with me, and he tells me he loves me but he has always been very clear that he will never be in a relationship with me. I have asked him a couple of times why. After a lot of beginning, he finally gave me list of everything that is physically and mentally wrong with me.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.