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sexuality

Older, and recently married, but sexually inexperienced and feeling clueless.

Anonymous asks:

First of all, I am really thankful for your services. I am 29 yrs old female and recently got married to a 30 yr old guy. We have tried to sex couple of times but unsuccessful because of pain I experience when my husband tried to penetrate. Although we gathered useful information from your site, the main problem is that since we both are virgins we don't have much idea about these things. Secondly we both are not aroused at same time. Can you please advise us as to what is the best position or possibly the best way to do it first time?

What if a guy thinks my labia are gross?

Lucy asks:

I've been worried recently due to my labia being different sizes and one being rather stretchy. They have also gone darker in colour. Is this normal, different, a medical problem? I have been searching on the internet for some help on whether this is normal or not. Most articles say size difference is normal but this doesn't make the situation any easier for me. Oral sex seems a worrying thought, what if the guy is like "What the hell is up with this... gross... it doesn't look normal to me!" Even when it happens I'm going to worry he's thinking it. There's no way to tell if mine looks normal or not, I can't exactly ask my friends...embarrassing or what!? Anyway, I would be forever grateful for a bit of a suggestion.

Big questions about gender identity, sexual orientation and sexual fantasy

Charlene asks:

(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.)

I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated. I am a late-to-mature sort of person anyway, and though I have researched and read up on sexuality (like I do for, er, everything), I'm not overtly sexual or want to be at this point in my life. Plus, from the moment I learned what the word meant, I have identified as a lesbian: so the dating pool ain't big in high school.

I think I might be bisexual, but I really do not want to be.

anonymous asks:

I'm 17yrs old, not sexually active, never had a boyfriend (and I'm more than fine with it). Ever since my friend came out as bisexual, I've had this horrible feeling that I might be too. I've thought sexually about women for a few years now, and occasionally look at female porn. I just assumed this was normal, straight-girl activity, even though I don't think about guys as, um, graphically. Since my friend came out I've found myself attracted to certain women, not just sexually but romantically, as well as guys.

I just DON'T WANT to be lesbian or bi. I have no problems with them, but I don't want it to be part of my life. I'm terrified I'll have to acknowledge it - my family's loving but straight-laced and wouldn't accept it, for one thing, and it's just not the way I planned my life to run. I don't know how to explain it without sounding bigoted, but I don't want to deviate from the social "norm". I don't know what to do. Is there any way of...checking, some how? Is the Kinsey Scale accurate? Am I just imagining it since my friend came out?

Please tell me what to think, because I don't know what to do. Thanks in advance. I'm so glad for this website.

Dear New York Times

I sent this in response to the New York Times piece published last week regarding abstinence-only education. Alas, I didn't hear back from them, so I offer it up here instead. I feel it's important to get as much informed commentary out there on this issue as possible right now, especially considering the recent continuance and increases given to abstinence-only funding.

Read more...

What's Inside S.E.X.?

Have a look inside S.E.X.: the in-depth and inclusive young adult sexuality guide by Scarleteen's founder and editor. Full table of contents and links to online excerpts.

I don't enjoy masturbation, but my partner is going out of town.

Dee asks:

I've been sexually active for a while now (I'm 20, sexually active for almost four years now) and have no interest in masturbation. All my girlfriends rave about it. I do it sometimes, mostly when my boyfriend and I have phone sex. But honestly, it really doesn't do anything for me. Plus, when I do masturbate, I can never achieve the type of orgasm I do when my boyfriend touches me. It's never as intense. My boyfriend's leaving for college again soon, and I think I'm going to go crazy without him being here to pleasure me. Any suggestions as to toot my own horn?

Everyone Loves S.E.X.!

...and we love them back!

We interrupt your regular programming for a little bit of shameless and self-congratulatory self-promotion.

The reviews of our young adult sex guide, S.E.X.: The All-You-Need-to-Know Progressive Sexuality Guide to Get You Through High School and College have been coming in, and we're elated to hear that readers and reviewers of the book seem to think it's just as special and essential as we do.

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The Recognize! Campaign

Recognize your strength. Recognize your power. Recognize your potential. Take care of yourself.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.