sexuality

How Do We Best Define Sex?

When we're quality sex educators; when we are or aim to be inclusive, forward-thinking and do sex education in ways that can or do serve diverse populations, we will tend to define sex very broadly, far more so than people who don't work in sex education often tend to, even if and when their experiences with sex and sexuality have been broad. Often, the longer we work as sexuality educators, and the longer we also just live and experience our own sexual lives, the more expansive the definition becomes. If we live and/or work on the margins, like if we or people we serve are queer, gender-variant, culturally diverse, have disabilities, the diversity in our definitions of what sex can be will become even greater.

Three on virginity, ideals and regrets

reynolds1990
asks:
I know that it takes a woman up to 7 years, after having intercourse to become a virgin again. Is that true? Is it also the same for a girl between the ages of 12 and 15? If they are both true, could you please explain to me how that happens? If you could get back to me as soon as possible that would be fully appreciated. ...

Feeling pain or feeling nothing at all = my experience of sex.

yougivemefever
asks:
I seem to not be able to feel any sort of pleasure from anything sexual. I'm 17 and have never been able to achieve an orgasm. It hurts being fingered. I've never been able to masturbate, because I could not keep focus or it started hurting. It also feels too awkward. When my boyfriend tried doing it, it hurt. He tried giving me oral sex, but that was painful....

What if I never want or feel ready for sex?

Anonymous
asks:
Okay, well here is the thing: I'm a girl and I'm so afraid to be in a relationship for too long, because I think that I'm going to have to have sex. I know that my boyfriend right now wants it, but I really don't. He says he'll wait for me, but I'm still scared. I don't think that I will ever be ready to do it, and so I'm worried. What if I am NEVER ready?!...

Getting Past the Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda.

heartbroken117
asks:
My boyfriend (20) and I (19) have been together for three years. We really do love each other and so we decided to have sex about two years into our relationship. First things were great, but a few months after we had been having sex regularly he changed his mind. He said he liked me better when I was innocent and that he hated what we did....

That Guy

Anyone who knows me or who knows anything about me usually knows that my pre-teen and teen years were incredibly difficult. I dealt with neglect and abuse in my family, starting from about the time I was 10. I was sexually assaulted twice before I even became a teenager. I was queer. I was suicidal and was a self-injurer. I struggled to find safe shelter sometimes. Few people seemed to notice, even though after I gave up trying to use my words, I still used my eyes to try and tell them constantly.

I'm 40 now, and in a whole lot of ways, I felt older at 16 than I feel now. Some days, I am truly gobsmacked that I survived at all, let alone with my heart and mind intact and rich.

A lot of why I survived is about having gotten support.

I don't want to spend my life never being satisfied by sex and I am FREAKING OUT.

kt21
asks:
I've done my reading and I know this problem has been addressed several times... but I still do not have an answer! Until I read this site I thought I was the only girl who couldn't reach orgasm from sex (so thank you!) I now realize I am not, and understand that nothing is wrong with me, but it still sucks! I don't want to spend my life never being satisfied by sex....