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sexuality

Undoing Sexual Shame

Feeling ashamed about sex or sexuality? Here are some steps to help you get started on turning that around so you can learn to love, not revile, your sexual self.

My Boyfriend Doesn't Enjoy Oral/Manual Sex, and I Feel Bad About It

MojMycha asks:

My boyfriend doesn't enjoy receiving oral or hand jobs, and it makes me feel inadequate, what can I do?

The Pregnancy Panic Companion

In the thick of a pregnancy scare? Freaking out? Not sure what to do? Welcome to your virtual pregnancy scare doula.

Higher Learning: Navigating Sex and Relationships in College

Going away to school can present some new sexual challenges. Here's a get-you-started guide to grow on.

What’s In A No?



What's so scary about asking when someone else may say no? Rejection. Read on to dial down the fear factor and learn to accept no like a pro.

Navigating Sexuality as a Fat Teen

Some thoughts and tips on navigating sexuality as a fat teen, and dealing with sizeism and fatphobia.

A problem with "premature" ejaculation...maybe isn't premature ejaculation.

ctguy asks:

My boyfriend and I started having sex about a week ago. Our first time was also my first time having sex. The three times we've had sex so far, I've finished a lot earlier than him, and a lot earlier than I want to. Basically I'm on the brink of coming by the time things get hot and heavy near the end of foreplay. I have no problem getting him off and I've managed to hide my quickness so far by pretending to come into a condom or tissue. But it's hard to keep up the ruse, and sex would obviously be a lot more enjoyable if I had control over my own stamina. Is this something that happens to all guys their first few times, or is there something I can do to fix it?

Hey Hot Stuff: On Attraction, Desirability, and "Types"

I have a thing for Vincent Price.

I don't just mean that I enjoy his body of work. I mean I feel desire for his body.

You may be asking what, exactly, my feelings for a deceased horror icon have to do with the work we do at Scarleteen. The answer is that it gets me thinking about desire and how even those of us who consider ourselves enlightened can fall into old traps when it comes to attraction.

Because I've been puzzling over why, whenever I make the above confession, I feel like the kid revealing a deep dark secret at a sleepover during a game of truth or dare. I'm an adult, and a sex educator to boot. I should know that desire is a weird, nebulous creature. So why am I sheepish about my feelings? A part of it is, I'm not just attracted to young, matinee idol Price. I'm attracted more to older Price, who often looks downright odd in his movies. But even that doesn't get at the core of the matter.

I started to think back to middle school, to the years when many of us

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Straight, Gay and Everything in Between: On Sexual Fluidity

In an episode of the Mtv show 'Faking It', the main character Amy expresses being interested in a boy. Since this comes on the heels of Amy confessing her love for her female best friend at the end of the first season, many viewers felt frustrated and confused. Wasn't Amy a lesbian? Had she not just come out? What was she doing making eyes at that boy?

To some extent, I get that. There are so few relateable representations of lesbians on television, especially when it comes to young women, that we just want to hold on to the few we've got. We don't want Amy to be making eyes at that guy because we really, really need Amy on our team. But by wanting Amy to be on Team Lesbian, we are not only closing the door on other, equally valid identities (bisexuality, pansexuality, queer, etc), but we are also denying the reality for many that sexual orientation is not an on/off switch or something that is static, but that attraction and figuring ourselves out is a long process that is not always

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Unlearning Unlovability

I hid my fears and insecurities by desexualizing myself. Now I'm on the path of uncovering ways to unlearn ugliness as an identity.

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