sexual response

The Great Arousal Mismatch: When Bodies and Brains Don't Line Up

Anonymous asks:
My boyfriend and I were making out, and I decided I wanted to go further and have oral sex with him. We discussed it before I did it and we both agreed it was the right time. As I was about to do it, I realized he was still soft. He was a little embarrassed by it, and I reassured him. But now I’m worrying it had something to do with me? ...

No sexual sensitivity?

Anonymous asks:
I'm asexual, so it doesn't bother me too much, but I do like to pleasure others sexually. I am nonbinary, and I have found that I have very low, almost no sensitivity (for pleasure, at least) in my vaginal area, breasts, or most skin. My sexual partner says I have such a small clitoris that neither of us can find it, and suggests that is why I can only feel one specific spot inside my vagina (?)....

Does an orgasm by any other name still feel as sweet?

toodlesnoodles
asks:
Is cumming and having an orgasm the same thing? I'm a virgin. So I've never had sex. I just masturbate often. When I rub my clit for a while I get this amazing feeling and I can tell I squirt something out. After that, I get tired and stop. I can make myself do this multiple times and I consider that cumming. Is it an orgasm though? Is that how it's going to feel when I have sex?...

The Clitoris, the Vagina and Orgasm: Feelings and Frameworks

lioness
asks:
I'm a lesbian in my early twenties and I've heard the idea of the "vaginal orgasm" vs "clitoral orgasm" debunked here. But I'm feeling confused about how to reconcile that with my experience that orgasms when I'm stimulated in different ways feel different....

Feeling pain or feeling nothing at all = my experience of sex.

yougivemefever
asks:
I seem to not be able to feel any sort of pleasure from anything sexual. I'm 17 and have never been able to achieve an orgasm. It hurts being fingered. I've never been able to masturbate, because I could not keep focus or it started hurting. It also feels too awkward. When my boyfriend tried doing it, it hurt. He tried giving me oral sex, but that was painful....

Why Cory Loves Premature Ejaculation

The wonderful Cory Silverberg: "....the idea of premature ejaculation presupposes that there is a clear end goal, and that you’re getting there too soon. It also presupposes that extending sex is an obvious goal of sex. Do I want the goal I set for sex to be one that requires a stopwatch to evaluate?

What if all you wanted from a sexual encounter was to feel good?"

He Can’t Orgasm … Is Diabetes to Blame?

Amber
asks:
I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been sexually active since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during sex, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong....