Is cumming and having an orgasm the same thing? I'm a virgin. So I've never had sex. I just masturbate often. When I rub my clit for a while I get this amazing feeling and I can tell I squirt something out. After that, I get tired and stop. I can make myself do this multiple times and I consider that cumming. Is it an orgasm though? Is that how it's going to feel when I have sex?
I'm a girl and I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I'm 18 and he's my first boyfriend. We've never had sex (he has had it before) but we've done other things. I have a problem though, I'm really scared to orgasm. Like we'll be doing something that feels so good and I know that if we just continued a bit longer I would get there (I feel the muscles contracting, the heart pumping, the intensity building and all that) but then I chicken out and make him stop. He's fine with it and very supportive and respects that I'm so scared, but it bothers me. Why can't I just let myself get there? It's the same deal if I um, "pleasure myself." Is there any way I can or he can help myself get over this fear of the unknown?
I'm a lesbian in my early twenties and I've heard the idea of the "vaginal orgasm" vs "clitoral orgasm" debunked here. But I'm feeling confused about how to reconcile that with my experience that orgasms when I'm stimulated in different ways feel different. Like, when just my clit is being stimulated, I come in one way, and when the walls of my vagina are being stroked, it's like a different kind of orgasm builds up--from deeper inside. The second kind tends to go on for longer, and be less "piercing" than orgasms where it's just my external clitoris being stimulated. Generally, those second ones feel more "complete" too. Both kinds feel good--I'm not knocking either one--but saying one feels more clitoral and one feels more vaginal feels like an accurate description. Do other people have this experience?
Also, I know Freud's idea about "vaginal orgasms" being more "mature" than "clitoral orgasms" is all messed up. But I've heard some older women talking about orgasms coming "more from inside" as they got older. Is there any evidence or do you have any reason to believe that this is true for many women?
I guess part of what I'm asking is, "am I imagining this difference?" When I've read that the idea of "vaginal orgasms" and "clitoral orgasms" is BS, that's seemed pretty cool and liberating. And yet, I do seem to experience these different kinds of orgasms. Can you help me understand all this? Thanks a lot.
I seem to not be able to feel any sort of pleasure from anything sexual. I'm 17 and have never been able to achieve an orgasm. It hurts being fingered. I've never been able to masturbate, because I could not keep focus or it started hurting. It also feels too awkward. When my boyfriend tried doing it, it hurt. He tried giving me oral sex, but that was painful. I tell him it hurts, and he tries to go as gently as he can, but it still hurts. I'm frustrated because I get no satisfaction, and my boyfriend's self esteem is damaged because he thinks it's his fault. We lost our virginities to each other a couple of months ago. It hurt a lot the first two times. After it stopped hurting, it just felt like nothing. I didn't have the heart to tell my boyfriend until recently that I don't feel anything. Now he's really upset because he feels like a pig and that he used me. He says I subconsciously don't love him, and that's why I don't feel anything.
It seems like I'm the only one with the problem of not being able to feel anything during sex AND clitoral stimulation hurts.
This is a quickie. But it was so fantastic, and here at Scarleteen we have so many young men who are so freaked out and upset when they ejaculate sooner than they'd like, that I had to race over here and link to it ASAP.
From the piece, by the wonderful Cory Silverberg:
...the idea of premature ejaculation presupposes that there is a clear end goal, and that you’re getting there too soon. It also presupposes that extending sex is an obvious goal of sex. If you’re ejaculating before you want to, or before your partner wants to, the first thing you ought to do is ask yourself, what is it that I want to extend? Is the sex I’m having good enough to want to make it last longer? Am I coming quickly because really, there’s not much to wait around for? And do I want the goal I set for sex to be one that requires a stopwatch to evaluate?
What if all you wanted from a sexual encounter was to feel good? If ejaculating prematurely feels bad then you’ve got a good reason to learn to control ejacul
I just stumbled across your wonderful site totally by accident and am really hoping you will be able to help me with a problem which is keeping me awake at night. I’ve been sexually active since I was 16. Since then, all of my male sexual partners have ejaculated during sex, but my current boyfriend is having a problem. This is affecting our sex life as I feel I must be doing something wrong. He has tried to reassure me he often hasn't been able to orgasm in the past with other partners and that he enjoys sex with me nonetheless - that he doesn’t have to come to be satisfied. But I don't fully enjoy myself knowing that he won't reach orgasm; it doesn't seem fair.
I know you recently answered a question in the same vein but I think my query is different as he is diabetic. I have recently heard that diabetes can affect sex and am wondering if this true. He doesn't seem aware of the connection and I don't want to mention it without getting the facts first. Please help me, I love him dearly and in all other aspects our relationship is fantastic...but it doesn't fell right for me to be getting all the sexual pleasure.
I get "NRB"s (no-reason boners) very often. Why do I get an erection when I'm not aroused?
My boyfriend and I have sex a lot and we both enjoy it. However, I can't feel him ejaculate inside me and I hate asking him if he's done because it's a real turn-off for both of us. Is it normal for girls to not be able to feel guys come inside them? And if so, how can I tell when he's done?