A couple of years ago I was over at my best friends house and we were in her living room ready to go to sleep and we were just talking and she asked me if I masturbate and I told her I did and then she started to rub her clitoris and then she started to rub mine. After that she asked me if I had ever kissed a girl and I said no then we started to make out and stuff. I know I'm not a lesbian but what we did was a lot of fun, is this normal for girls to do this sort of stuff together?

I was wondering is it okay to want to experiment with the same sex, like girl & girl?

Hey, I'm 15, just turned, and bisexual. I can help but wonder if this is because of my hormones or if I really do like girls and guys. I mean, I like kissing both sexes, but I haven't had intercourse yet, and I need to find some way of determining how I feel. I'm proud to say I'm bi, but I don't want to be saying it and lying.

Hi my name is Amy and I'm 21. When I masturbate I like to watch lesbian porn. I'm straight and everything it just turns me on. Is this normal? When I watch straight porn I don't get aroused. So please help!

(Firstly, let me compliment you on your wonderful site: though most people in my life are quite open and accepting, I have NEVER talked to anyone about sex or sexuality--except for the few conversations I've initiated. Information that is accurate, candid, and not colored with shame or guilt is completely refreshing.)

I'm 18, and have never had anything approaching sex--I've never even dated. I am a late-to-mature sort of person anyway, and though I have researched and read up on sexuality (like I do for, er, everything), I'm not overtly sexual or want to be at this point in my life. Plus, from the moment I learned what the word meant, I have identified as a lesbian: so the dating pool ain't big in high school.

Last summer, I came out as a lesbian to my family and friends, because after about a year and half of questioning and soul-searching and doubting and ALL that fun stuff, I concluded that I was romantically and emotionally (and sexually, though again I just am not particularly sexual yet) attracted to women: I'd never had a crush on a boy; I did indeed have crushes on girls; I was uncomfortable with my gender role; and...well, I dunno, it just FIT. I'd always felt so different, and this seemed right. I took as long as I could to be sure--but once I felt I'd figured it out, I wasn't going to hide it. So I didn't.

There's one anomaly, though: I fantasize very regularly (about every night; fantasizing/masturbation is the only thing that helps my insomnia), and have been since I was about 9-10. These fantasies may or may not include actual sex, and they didn't when I was younger, but they have always included strong BDSM elements--I just consider that a part of my sexuality (one I'm less likely to announce, but *I'm* cool with it, which is the important thing, I figure.) However, lately, perhaps for the past year, these fantasies have exclusively featured gay men, in the vein of "slash" fanfiction and erotica, etc.

I've never been into straight male-female fantasies or erotica--I find it "icky" in the way perhaps some heterosexuals find gay sex unappealing--but I'm quite confused as to why I should find gay male ones interesting. Admittedly, I have read and found and liked a fair bit of erotica intended for a female audience about two males, but I would assume that's directed at straight females. I often find myself identifying with, or taking the role of one of the males; but I've never identified as the opposite sex--I am fairly sure I'm a girl, through and through. And in general, male anatomy or male movie stars do nothing for me. Unless, of course, I can imagine them gay!

Was perhaps my identification as a lesbian too hasty? Should I reconsider whether I'm predominantly bisexual, or even transgendered or genderqueer? I derive a great deal of comfort and confidence from being "sure" about myself and my sexuality, and from categorizing myself a lesbian, but I also don't want to be narrowminded in any direction, if I can avoid it. Again, I've never had a sexual experience: is that the only way to be sure?

Perhaps it's all ridiculous squabbling over semantics, but I'm just unsure. A boy who is a close friend asked me on a date once; I told him I'd gladly go do something with him, because I enjoyed his company, but that I just wasn't into guys, romantically. However, any time I have a crush on a girl, it starts in a similar close friendship (unless, of course, she's amazingly cute in which case the friendship comes afterward); was I closing a door there too rapidly?

I'm just getting ready to start dating in college; the school I'm going to is about 7 males to every 3 females. (Saw this as more of a challenge than a disadvantage, 'specially since my major is about 9-to-1; didn't think about dating, eep!) So...just wondering and wishing I could figure this out.