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sexual history

Are we even?

johnbaseball17 asks:

I am 18 and my most recent ex is 19. I’ve never had intercourse, but had oral with 8 different girls. My recent ex-girlfriend had sex only 1 time with her ex-boyfriend, her only serious boyfriend before me. I left her this week because she has had sex. Actually, I’ve left all these girls because they weren’t virgins. I just want to find someone with equal life/sexual experience. In her eyes, I’m not Mr. Perfect either and have a lot of experience, too. Oral sex is still a significant sexual act in her opinion. She also considers the score even between us. I understand oral sex is serious enough to be a deal breaker.

She is the most compatible person I’ve ever been with. Also, she has treated me the best of any other girl. She wanted to marry me in the next few years. Do I have too much sexual experience to complain that my girlfriend is not a virgin? Would you call the score between our past sexual life experiences nearly equal? Am I wrong for leaving? What would you think if you found out your boyfriend/girlfriend had oral sex with 8 other people before you? I’m dying for your honest opinion on the above questions! Thanks a million times! I appreciate the help!

He's Queer, I'm Straight, and It's Great Except...

elinor asks:

Help! I'm in a relationship with a man (I identify as a straight woman) who identifies as queer. He's mostly had sex with men in the past (there might have been 1 woman), but this is first heterosexual relationship. It's also my first relationship with a queer man. I really care for him, but I am struggling with checking my own heteronormative attitudes. For example, I don't know how to get over the fact that he enjoys watching gay porn, and mostly gets off to men. We still have great sex together and I know he is attracted to me, and I try to remind myself of this when I find myself getting bothered by what turns him on. I'm learning to love, not accept, that he is queer and that he has made me shift my thinking about relationships and sexuality so much. However, I still don't know how to get myself out of these moments, sometimes ongoing, of insecurity.

I gave him my virginity, and I don't feel like I got anything back.

needs some advice asks:

I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. He is my first long-term boyfriend and I really do love him. He is 3 years older than me and has had a 3 year relationship with another girl before me. After 3 months we decided to have sex. I was a virgin and this was a really big deal to me but he was not a virgin and had been with 2 girls before me. I don't regret being with him, I knew I was ready. But I get really upset about him not losing his virginity to me. Is it normal to be so upset about his past and past relationships? I have tried to just forget it all but I almost feel cheated. I gave my virginity to him and I didn't get anything in return. I felt like it wasn't as special to him as it was to me. How can I get over this?

Should I be concerned about his sexuality?

pagangirl asks:

Although I feel a little ridiculous asking this considering I should be more openminded towards sexuality and experimentation, I haven't been able to get it out of my mind. I started dating a man 10 months ago. I'm 18, he turned 26 around three weeks ago. He was married before, and she left because of her claiming to have been bored in bed and in general. Since the beginning of our relationship, I stated that I am bisexual and have been as long as I could remember. I asked him about his orientation and he told me that he was straight. No rushed answer, no hysteria. So, I believed him.

Months later--two months ago almost--I mentioned that I had heard that one of his friends had had a gay encounter. He shrugged and told me that he himself had experimented when he was 16, and had sex with another guy from school. He had anal sex, oral sex, and watched straight and transgender porn with the other boy (claiming the transgender porn belonged to the friend). He told me he couldn't kiss the other guy, because he felt repulsed, yet was able to perform oral sex on him.

She's my first sexual partner: I love her, but should I only ever be with her?

Dan asks:

I'm 19 and have been with my girlfriend for almost three years, except a couple months break last year when I broke up with her for fear of commitment. She's a year younger than me, and prior to our relationship, she had done some oral sex and handjobs with two guys. I've never been sexually active with anyone other than her. We were both each other's first sexual intercourse partner. During our break apart last year, she had sex with another guy. Long story short, I love my girlfriend tons. I recently got a new job and we moved across the country together and now have an apartment. We're very happy together and have what I would consider a very healthy relationship.

In the back of my head, though, I am always jealous of her sexual history. She's been with 3 other guys, and I've never even seen another girl naked in person. I've seen figures that men typically have around 8 sexual partners in their lifetimes. I feel horrible for thinking this, but it really bothers me that if I stay with my girlfriend (which I want to -- I really feel that I could be with her forever), I'll never have sex with another girl, because I have my morals, and I could never cheat on anyone. I'm not even sure what I'm asking, but do you have any advice for guys (or girls) in my situation?

How do I talk to my friend with benefits about safer sex issues?

Ashleigh asks:

I have a friends with benefits relationship. I was on the pill before we started this relationship and I had a STD test which was negative. When we got together we used condoms a few times and then we got in the habit of not using a condom. I haven't been with anyone else since I was with him, but he may have. I don't know how to ask him if he uses a condom if he is with another girl or if he has ever been tested. Do you have any ideas I can bring this up in a not nosy sounding or not an accusing way? I just want be safe and I want him to be too.

Why can't I let go of his past?

Audrey asks:

I am 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for eight months. This is the first relationship I have ever been in; we had sex only a couple of days after we met and I have been with him since. Obviously I trust him and love him and we have a very healthy relationship, but I have known for a while now that prior to meeting me, he slept with 15 other girls. I have a history of depression and ever since he has told me I have started to feel really horrible about it all - I never thought it was something that would ever bother me, as I have friends both male and female who are promiscuous, but I feel so much differently about it now that he has told me. I feel that it upsets me a lot and I don't know why and I can't understand it. I have tried to talk to him about it a lot but he won't open up to me and I don't know what else I can do.

Penis size worries, weight loss issues, and nonlatex condom queries

Private asks:

I am a 16 year old male, weighing in at 212lbs. I am losing weight at a decent rate, which I have heard helps your penis size. I have seen post contradicting the last statement, however from my own research; losing weight helps to increase blood flow to the penis, which in turn helps your penis "grow". On to the subject, I have what I could consider an unusually small penis. At 5 inches in length and 4 inches in girth I am not sure what size condom to get. I have been looking, for a while now, only to find nothing. To make finding the right condom harder, my girlfriend is allergic to latex. I am nervous enough about my penis size (the smallest she has had is 8 inches), but finding the right condom makes me more nervous. Thank you.

I had unprotected oral sex, and I'm worried about HIV

Anonymous asks:

About 4 months ago, I had unprotected oral sex with a guy that I know has been with at least a few other girls. The question of protection or other sexual partners never came up, although he knew that I was a virgin and that he was not. I was worried about my risk for HIV, again, I do not know his history. I have had no testing or symptoms as of yet.

I feel awful about my previous sex life, but am worried if it's really okay for me to change.

Anonymous asks:

I'm very embarrassed to say that over the last year I have been very promiscuous, as in to having sex with 15 different partners. I have gotten over that phase, and I have sworn to stay celibate for at least six months. My question is whether or not it is possible for me to be tight again? Also, if it would be right for me to make a future boyfriend wait a while, before having sex with him? I mean, I gave it up to someone I just met, why would I make my 'boyfriend' wait? Please help, I feel so horrible with myself. I think that staying celibate will help me regain respect with myself, but, of course, I can never forget it.

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