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sexual assault

Upper St. Clair: Could the School Have Prevented Rape?

School districts have a list of policies that are to be followed in the case that something happens that endangers one or more students, teachers, or faculty members. These policies range in degree from detentions, to in and out of school suspensions, through a student no longer being permitted to attend the school district.

Upper St. Clair School District in Pennsylvania is facing a thirty-five page lawsuit naming the district as well as eight administrators and teachers at the high school. The lawsuit was filed when the school failed to respond properly to the reports of assault and harassment made by a female student (pseudonym Jane Doe) against a fourteen year old male student.

From the information given, it is understood that prior to the assaults the two students had been friends and classmates in an emotional support program that is part of the school’s special education classes.

When the first assault took place, the student talked to a teacher about what had happened – t

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My rape is stuck in my head: what do I do to get it out?

anonymous asks:

This is an odd question, and I really hope I don't disturb anyone here, it's not my intention. Anyway, I'm 16, and I've been raped, about a month ago. I'm kinda going nuts here, it's being sorted out legally. I'm not pregnant, I don't have any infections, and the guy's arrested, and I could really care less about the incident, except it's really stuck in my head. I guess this isn't sexual... but, it sort of of is, so I decided to pose it here. I have dreams about my rape, every night I can remember dreaming. It's really starting to mess with my brain, and I've broken down crying more than once, which is bringing me close to insanity in its own sense.

Am I going to need therapy, or some skitzo drugs, or something? I really don't want to be crazy over this, I just want to move on, get past High School, and get a life. I talked to my dad about it, and he said his dad had something similar, like a severe form of PTSD after he got back from serving in Vietnam (or Korea, I forget... We were talking about -my- insanity, sorry, I forget). Said his dad had flashbacks sometimes, which I guess would qualify for these dreams. I know you guys aren't psychiatrists, so I won't bore you with the specifics; it's just like a replay of the rape, over and over. Sometimes a few things are different, sometimes I'm watching it happen, sometimes it's just how it happened.

Am I insane, or unstable, or just having nightmares? Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask it, but a friend of mine said the help here was really cool, but I mean, I don't know if you guys do stuff past pregnancy scares and diseases all that. -- Abba

Beyond Rape: A Survivor's Journey

Joanna Connors has written an incredible article about her 1984 rape and its aftermath. While some parts of her story are triggering, it is well worth reading.

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Why we don't always know

(Heads-up: parts of this post are fairly explicit when it comes to detailing rape and abuse.)

One of the more interesting (and by interesting, I mean ridiculously ignorant) responses I have seen in a few places discussing the I Was Raped project and my input was my statement on the news that the first time I was assaulted -- at the age of 11 -- I did not know what had happened to me and was without any language to even express it.

This is being met with some measure of disbelief by a few folks, or the assumption I was on drugs or had been drugged or that I was simply stupid. My personal favorite was that I'm a young girl who only called my rapes rape after being brainwashed by Jennifer and feminism, a newfangled notion she apparently just clued me into recently. Who knew I was such a late bloomer, and that I was somehow able to grow up in the 70's in a progressive Chicago neighborhood with a single mother, an activist father, and managed to never hear about feminism? Wowza.

I think

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What's rape got to do with it?

Why does a sex-positive sexuality site like this one talk about rape and abuse so often?

We should all know by now that rape and sex are not the same thing, after all. And yet, over the years at Scarleteen, we've answered a lot of questions about rape and abuse, supported a lot of abuse and rape victims and survivors, and we've got content about both housed on a site which is primarily about sexuality, sexual health and relationships.

One big reason is that an awful lot of us in the world -- and at this site -- are rape and abuse survivors, or people trying to get free of abuse. While our rapes or assaults certainly are or were not sex for us, they often impact our sexuality and our sex lives a whole lot. Sexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum: it's made up of all of who we are, and greatly influenced by the whole of our life experiences. In so many ways, rape and sexual assault can really hijack our sexuality, due to body memories -- the places we were assaulted tend to trigger painful

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Is it my fault?

It's common for teens to have a mentality of "that won't happen to me". Well, what if it does? How does one cope when their trust and belief system is shattered by sexual assault?

I was molested on an airplane: was it my fault?

Amsinha asks:

When flying on a plane back to New York I ended up sitting next to a man who had the wrong idea about me. He started out by complimenting me but the moment I lay down to sleep he started kissing me and feeling my breasts and ass sexually without my consent. This happened the day after I turned 18 and he made two very obvious attempts to engage me in something I wasn't into and didn't want. When I returned to my seat after a while the guy noticed that I was pissed and began talking to me about his reasons, one of which was that he asked for consent and that I gave it to him. I don't remember his asking or my consent partly because I was in a state of half asleep and listening to my ipod on maximum volume. The two of us had four seats to ourselves which I used to push him away from me after the fact, however throughout the rest of the flight and the last few days I have had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I somehow told him it was okay even though it felt completely wrong and one sided.

Is it okay for a man to finger you?

jessica asks:

Is it okay for a man to finger you?

My GF was fingered by her ex without her consent; Is she still a virgin?

Anonymous asks:

Yeah, so I'm a guy and I actally need some info. Its probably pretty weird, but I really need some info on my gf. I am a religious person and very straight-edge; I abstain from pre-maritial sex and alcohol and whatnot. A while back my girlfriend told me that she had an ex-boyfriend that fingered her w/o her consent. She tried to give him a second chance, but he did it again, so she stayed away from him. She was too afraid to tell him that hat he did was not ok with her. She is very upright too and was crying and everthing else when telling me this. I have no knowledge about female sex stuff, but is she still a virgin? It really upsets her to talk about it, so I dont like doing it, but would she have felt the same way she did as if she were having sex? Does that mak her a virgin or not

He wants to wait: I can't!

Yesenia asks:

We are both virgins but he wants to wait until marriage. I can't wait. I get too horny and I'm tired of having to rely on myself to take care of my sexual needs. He's just afraid of sex. He won't even say the word and he's 22. I tried talking to him but it doesn't work.

Usually the guy wants to have sex and the girl wants to wait but it's the opposite way around for us. What should I do. Should I just be demanding and go for what I want because I think that's what I'm going to end up doing. Help please!

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