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sexual

I don't want to masturbate or have sex: what's wrong with me?

Anonymous asks:

I am celibate and a virgin. I don't masturbate. I think all forms of sexual activity are ok as long as people say safe and respectful, and this includes masturbation. I was never abused. I was brought up in a very open environment, where my parents never shied away from answering any kind of question about sex and answered very honestly and frankly, and never said anything was "sinful" or "shameful." And when they couldn't answer, both me and my siblings were pointed in the direction of good resources. There are plenty of things that "turn me on." I fantasize if I'm very horny but I wouldn't call that masturbation, and it's never that "graphic" in my head, it just "gets me off." I don't like watching others have sex either, like on tv or movies - I enjoy seeing people kiss or dance much more and think that is actually way more erotic!

MY QUESTION IS THIS: is there something wrong with me?

Can people with no sexual experience have an STD?

Anonymous asks:

If both the people involved in having sex have had no previous partners of any sexual nature, is it safe to presume they don't have any STDs?

Is it racist to only feel attraction to my own race?

Anonymous asks:

A friend of mine told me I was a racist because I'm not attracted to people who aren't of the same race as me. I don't really know why this is, I'm just not attracted to them. My friends are from many different backgrounds so I don't think that I am a racist. Is it weird to only be attracted to people that are the same race as me?

(Wo)men Speak Out

An organization dedicated to eradicating rape, sexual assault and gender violence which seeks to educate both men and women, cultivating healthy relationships and gender equity.

Was my friend implying I brought my rape on myself?

Jessica asks:

I have been raped on several occasion throughout my youth. I am just now, as a 22-year-old woman dealing with these. My friend recently said to me, "Well since it happened to you once, then you are more susceptible to it happening again." It really offended me to hear this, and I wanted to know if it seems unfair to me to get upset. My whole thought process is, I already blame myself (and I know I shouldn't but what girl doesn't) why would you say something like that implying that I brought this on myself? Is that insensitive of me to feel that way?

I was molested on an airplane: was it my fault?

Amsinha asks:

When flying on a plane back to New York I ended up sitting next to a man who had the wrong idea about me. He started out by complimenting me but the moment I lay down to sleep he started kissing me and feeling my breasts and ass sexually without my consent. This happened the day after I turned 18 and he made two very obvious attempts to engage me in something I wasn't into and didn't want. When I returned to my seat after a while the guy noticed that I was pissed and began talking to me about his reasons, one of which was that he asked for consent and that I gave it to him. I don't remember his asking or my consent partly because I was in a state of half asleep and listening to my ipod on maximum volume. The two of us had four seats to ourselves which I used to push him away from me after the fact, however throughout the rest of the flight and the last few days I have had a nagging feeling in the back of my head that I somehow told him it was okay even though it felt completely wrong and one sided.

Was what we did a sex act?

lolo18 asks:

I'm a 14 year old girl and I hang out with my neighbor a lot (he's a guy) and one day we were at his house in the pool and we accidentally "rubbed" our bodies together and he got an erection. Was what we did a sex act? We still hang out and stuff but it hasn't been we kinda have that sexual tension between us now.

Sexually harassed at work: what should I do?

Kayla asks:

There's this guy at work who keep hitting on me. At first it seemed like innocent flirting but it's gotten downright vulgar and creepy. He's 15 years older than me. I'd like to remain friends with him, if possible but he seems to think that when I turn 18 it will be okay that he says completely inappropriate things in the workplace. I'd rather not file a complaint but I will if I try everything you tell me and it doesn't stop. A friend also suggested that I drop his girlfriend a line through email letting her know what's going on. I think that would be kind of mean and may even make him violent. He's really pushy so it scares me a bit. I'd like to know how to convey to him to knock it off without hurting his feelings or getting anyone else involved.

I need more than looks to know if I find someone attractive: what does that mean in terms of my orientation?

Holly asks:

I've noticed that I never really feel sexually attracted to anyone solely on the basis of how they look. I can find people aesthetically attractive. I'm not asexual, though-- I CAN be sexually attracted to people, it's just that I can't be particularly attracted to anyone unless I know what their personalities are like. So, my question is whether I should be considering myself bi, gay, pan, or... what. I realize that this may not be entirely the right forum for this question, but I seriously don't know anywhere else to ask.

Nervous for sex

Mandy asks:

Ok I have a few questions. I’m 18 and have been with my boyfriend for about a year and have not been sexually active with him or anyone else in any way (no oral, hand jobs/fingering, or sex). I have fun making out with him, but he recently told me that he doesn’t want to make out heavily anymore because it isn’t turning him on as much anymore without the “big O at the end”. Is this normal? I sort of want to do more but feel a little uncomfortable. My bf is supportive of my limits (especially he since he didn’t lose his virginity till he was 21) and isn’t trying to force me or anything but still really wants to do more. I love him and I want to do more but am nervous. He is much older and much more experienced than I am. I have talked to him about being nervous and stuff and it has helped a little but not a lot. I have another question too: I have a LOT of clear discharge when we make out and dry hump. Is this normal? I feel nervous about letting him finger me because of this. I am also nervous about giving him a hand job and oral because I don’t know what to do after he ejaculates. It all just seems very messy. I feel like I don’t know enough about how to get into and out of the sexual situation… I feel ready but just too nervous to go on… Is there something that I can do that will make this more comfortable? What can I do? Please help!
P.S. Thank you so much. This site is amazing.

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