sexism

Bodaciously Bad Advice: Standardized Testing?

In Bodaciously Bad Advice, a new regularly updated feature at Scarleteen, I look at some of the dating advice articles from glamour magazines and around the web. I find that most of these advice articles are heterocentric and endorse many gender stereotypes, in addition to just being really crappy dating advice. In deconstructing the articles, I hope to help you, the reader, see them for what they really are and learn to apply these skills of critical observation and thinking to other areas.

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Is intercourse a violence or a violation?

stullis asks:

I've been with my girlfriend for nearly six months now. I've always had a bit of a problem having sex with people (keeping it up) but this problem has never occurred between me and her. However, lately I've begun to feel very guilty about the physical action of having sex. The act of penetration is a great experience physically, but when I think about what I'm doing I feel like I'm stabbing her, or performing some kind of violent act on her. We haven't had sex yet since I started REALLY feeling like this (which was a little more than three weeks ago) but if we are making out and begin to have dry sex I often start to cry from the idea of what I am doing to her. She's very compassionate and understanding, and I have told her all of this, but I want it to stop. I need to know how to make myself stop feeling like I am abusing her when we have sex because considering the times we've had sex before I had this mindset, it's been an incredible experience of expressing our love to each other, and I'd really like to have that back.

I feel like a hypocrite but I don't want my younger sister to have sex

Shell0523 asks:

Hey, so I'm a nineteen-year-old male who has been sexually active for the past three years. I've been with a few girls (I was only in a "real" relationship with one) since I lost my virginity at sixteen. The thing is that I have a sister who's fifteen and I just found out that she and her seventeen-year-old boyfriend have started having sex. I don't want her to be doing anything like that-at least not until she is living on her own. Am I being a hypocrite, considering I was about her age when I started having sex?

My boyfriend said I'm "dirty and used." What do I do with that?

Alice asks:

I’m eighteen, and I’m madly in love with my boyfriend. We’re supposed to get an apartment together in December and I feel like I could spend every day of my life with him. I’ve been with a few (ok, 6, or 5, depending) guys before, and one night he got trashed and told me he would never marry me because I’m “dirty and used”. In the morning when I asked him about it, he said he didn’t mean to be that harsh, but in all honesty, he won’t ever marry me because I’ve slept with too many people. What the hell?

I hate being a girl: is that wrong?

Anonymous asks:

I'm a 13 year old girl and HATE being a GIRL. I have the mind strength hands feet and hairiness of a boy but still have the body of a girl complete with boobs. Is there something wrong with me wanting to be a boy?

The Audre Lorde Project

The Audre Lorde Project is a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Two Spirit and Transgender People of Color center for community organizing, focusing on the New York City area. Through mobilization, education and capacity-building, we work for community wellness and progressive social and economic justice. Committed to struggling across differences, we seek to responsibly reflect, represent and serve our various communities.

Oh, bloody hell.

Today, a Scarleteen user (thanks, puppysrcute!) posted the following at the boards: What do you think about this?

To which, I replied:
That, in general, we don't have the long-term, solid data to have any idea if this is wise or damaging to women, and until we do, I'm not (and Scarleteen by association) going to endorse it, even as an option for women who do simply want to choose it as preference, not as doctrine or by pressure to do so.

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Because you make us sick, that's why.

We've had more than one cosmetic surgeon post on the Scarleteen boards endorsing labiaplasty or "vaginal rejuvenation" to the young women who read the site.

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Medicare to Cover Viagra, While Bush Administration Continues to Block Women's Access to Morning-After Pill

To: National Desk
Contact: Ted Miller of NARAL Pro-Choice America, 202-973-3032

WASHINGTON, Feb. 1 /U.S. Newswire/ -- NARAL Pro-Choice America, the nation's leading advocate for personal privacy and a woman's right to choose, said Americans are outraged that the Bush Administration will allow Medicare to cover prescriptions for sexual enhancement drugs such as Viagra while blocking efforts to give women access to emergency contraceptives that would reduce the need for abortion.

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Let's Just Diss and Makeup

Next time somebody loftily tells you that differences between the sexes are grounded in biology, you have my permission to slap them with a judicial case. And I mean that literally: just print out the late-December ruling in the Harrah's makeup case, roll it into a hefty tube, and take a swing at their head.

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