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Risky Business: Learning to Consider Risk and Make Sound Sexual Choices

Choices about sex and intimacy will always involve some risks, and making sound choices when risks, emotions and social high stakes are involved isn't something anyone is magically expert at. How can we learn to do it well, and what are some common things that trip us up?

Does an orgasm by any other name still feel as sweet?

toodlesnoodles asks:

Is cumming and having an orgasm the same thing? I'm a virgin. So I've never had sex. I just masturbate often. When I rub my clit for a while I get this amazing feeling and I can tell I squirt something out. After that, I get tired and stop. I can make myself do this multiple times and I consider that cumming. Is it an orgasm though? Is that how it's going to feel when I have sex?

Help! I can only orgasm in the same position.

Jen asks:

Help! I"m 22 and I can only orgasm with my legs completely straight and close together. How can I change this? I've been having manual/oral sex with my boyfriend for 5 months now and still don't have to courage to tell him because I'm embarassed. Am I weird? Can this be fixed? If so, how?

Breaking a No Condom Habit

CuriosityCat asks:

I am 20 and sexually active. I don't have a long term partner but have had and do have various partners. I have an IUD so I'm protected against pregnancy, however I know condoms are still hugely important. My problem is that I am completely stuck for what to say to make a man put one on. At the moment, it's just getting carried away then really kicking myself later. I have to be more diligent with this, but please- do you have any advice for laying down the law? A non awkward, but still sexy way of asserting myself?

HPV, Relationships, Pregnancy and Sex

tsunamichick89 asks:

Since I was 19 I've had an annual PAP smear done. Never, until this year, has it been abnormal. I went in January of 2011 and then held off because since then I have had an IUD put in, Gardasil, and lost my health insurance. Once I had saved up enough to get my pap test this year it was May. About a week later my doctor called to make an appointment to discuss results. I made another appointment and went in and needed a colposcopy. Another week later she called again. And then I knew then something wasn't right, I've never had a doctor call me about results.

How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I Was Raped?

keylos via asks:

Two years ago, I was raped by a boyfriend. I suppressed those feelings for a long time; I've only recently come to terms by calling it rape and I'm trying to be more open about my experience, in the hopes that it will help me heal. I've only told my two closest friends.

I'd like to tell my current significant other. I trust him, and I think it's fair he should know what problems I have before we get involved too deeply. I'm really nervous about this, though. How do I even start the conversation? What if he doesn't take it well? I'm definitely not in a place to discuss my rape in detail, but how do I talk about how rape affected my personal boundaries?

Sex And Disability: Starting the Conversation, Finding the Resources

Here at Scarleteen we view being a sexual person and having a disability, or two or three, as just as normal as any other human variation.

We also know, though, that there isn’t a lot of disability-positive material out there, and even less material related to sex ed.

As an educator and advocate of healthy sexuality, who also has some disabilities, I think it’s pretty important for people to have accurate information, but also to see themselves and their experiences included in the conversations we have about sexuality.

We get a lot of negative, or vague messages about sex, and people with disabilities often get left out of the conversation completely. Both topics—sexuality and disability—have loads of social and psychological complexities around them. So, I’ve put together a list of resources that put people with various kinds of disabilities smack dab back in the middle of the conversation.

You’ll notice that a lot of the information is the same as the standard material on sex

Read more...

Rescripting Sex

Life has scripts. Little socially-agreed plays that we enact rather than trying to figure out all our interactions from scratch every time. Many of them are very simple. There's also scripts for sex. Unfortunately, the most common script out there is terrible.

The Rules of Ooohs and Ahhhs (Hint: there aren't any)

Ohhhyess asks:

I think that I am on my way to being ready to have sex with my boyfriend but I am just worried about the whole moaning thing...during masturbation I sometimes moan, but mostly keep it quiet. Are you supposed to moan when having sex? If so, is there a technique to what you are saying or do you just do it?

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.