My boyfriend and I have been dating for a good few years now, every time we have sex it feels like it's just for his pleasure. I really would like to be pleased as well, I mean the sex is nice.. don't get me wrong. But I don't think I've ever experienced an orgasm. I've taken advice from this site before, and I've tried masturbation on my own time, but it ends up taking me hours, and I just get frustrated. I've also discussed it with him, and we've experimented with so many things. The longest we've tried is three and a half hours. That's a little overwhelming and just plain annoying for the both of us. We've tried possibly every "extra" you can think of from biting, roleplaying, being sweet, being angry, to sucking, caressingly, and much more. Any type of contact down there just feels as casual as a massage, and the feeling never changes. What's my deal?
I feel a little weird asking this here because I'm 26 but I was waiting til marriage before sex so this is new to me, and everyone my age seems to have been having sex for years and I'm embarrased to talk about this stuff. This site has been a great resource for me so far - it has saved me so much embarassment of not knowing what's going on (especially embarrasing at my 'old' age!)
So I just got married about a month ago and have started having sex with my husband but it has been disappointingly unenjoyable. My expectations weren't super high because I know it takes awhile to get used to things. But before we were married we did other activities that I really enjoyed and I'd get turned on a lot. Now, however, those same things don't even turn me on anymore. From reading articles here I've realized that sex isn't going to be pleasant if I'm not turned on and it's not about me being 'too tight' or anything. My husband is making a lot of effort to be patient with me and to engage in a lot of foreplay, but it's not doing anything for me. I used to get really aroused by him stroking my nipples/clit areas, and he still is trying that beforehand. But I keep finding that I am not enjoying him touching me at all, and I just want him to stop. He tried oral sex too and I just did not like it, it felt so weird. I feel so horrible because he was so great about waiting til we were married (he has had sex before with his previous girlfriends) and I really want to share this with him now, and he is trying so hard but it's not doing anything. And I'm also really sad that I don't feel turned on because it felt so good and I don't want to have lost that! We are both frustrated, and I feel especially bad because he's had experience and I haven't, and he said he's never had issues like this with any other girls. Any advice as to how I can get more turned on, so that we can actually have sex? We've realized that we shouldn't attempt intercourse when I'm not getting into things, so I also tried pleasuring him in other ways but I'm finding that difficult too... it takes awhile and honestly my mouth/jaw get tired, and I'm worried about how to finish things (the spit/swallow debate). Right now I'm feeling like a terrible wife for not being able to pleasure my husband and also really missing the sexual pleasure I used to get. I don't regret waiting at all... but I'm impatient for things to improve and any advice would be hugely appreciated. Even just letting me know what's a normal amount of time that it takes for this to start being fun instead of stressful. Thanks!
I have been with my boyfriend for about three months and I am not sure if I'm ready to have sex. How do you really know if you're ready? We have talked about sex before and he wants to do it but I'm just not sure if I want to or not. We have done other things and have also talked about those and if it felt good for us. It was just a little bit awkward talking about it with him at first, then I got more comfortable. He's not pressuring me into doing it, I just want to make sure I'm absolutely ready because I don't want to regret it.
There is another question I would like to ask. If you have been masturbating for quite some time (by rubbing my clit), and I mean a long time, will I only be able to get pleasure from rubbing or will having sex feel good too? I have read somewhere that you can get used to one thing and only be able to feel pleasure from it. My boyfriend has fingered me, it hurt a little at first but then it didn't. It's not that I hated it, but I also didn't get pleasure from it. I'm scared that I won't be able to get pleasure from anything else other than rubbing. Please help.
My girlfriend wants to have anal sex. Is it wrong that I don't want to, or should I do it because she said she will just go and do it herself?
I am a virgin, and I really want to lose it myself before I actually have sex because it is embarassing that I still have my virginity and i'm 18. But everytime that I masterbate or try to "pop my cherry" about like 3 inches into my vagina there is like a "sheet" of skin that is hard to push through, I am not sure if it is something you are supposed to push through, or it's my "cherry", I just don't want to hurt myself breaking something I am not supposed to.
My boyfriend and I were feeling very heated last night, so he decided to finger me. I was fine with that, obviously, because he asked if I wanted it and I said yes. We've decided we want to have sex but are both worried about the pain. And last night, he wanted to explore, and I told him go ahead. He tried to stick his finger in "the hole" and it hurt, very badly. I'm a pretty tight girl, and he had trouble getting even his pointer finger in. Now, it's the next morning and it's still a little achy. Did I get my "cherry popped"? Is my first time with him going to hurt badly because I'm so tight? I'm nervous, help!