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My friend and I are both virgins, but he isn't feeling good about it anymore.

Anonymous asks:

I'm an 18 year old girl looking for advice to give a (just-turned) 26 year old male. That sounds odd, but my best friend is 8 years older than I am, and we're both virgins. While I'm proud of my decision to wait, my friend has become increasingly insecure with his. As our friendship has progressed I've found that my words have become less comforting, I suppose because of the difference in age and gender. There is so much unspoken pressure on girls and their sexuality in our society- but with males it is so much more overt, and his increasing age only increases his shame. I can't go to an adult sexuality site for an answer because those are irrelevent to me, and you're my favorite internet source of advice and information, so I hope you can help me deal with my friend. How can I let him know that nothing is wrong with him, and how can I build his confidence? How can I avoid seeming condescending (especially with someone so much older than I am)? All of his friends have had sex, so there's a significant wall in the conversation whenever he tries to talk about it with them. I'm scared that that wall is growing between us, not because of a difference in experience, but, again, in age (and possibly gender). How can I approach him with this topic without him becoming defensive? How can I make sure he knows I'm there for him? In college he saved himself for a girl that led him on because she was afraid of her own sexuality, she's now a proud lesbian and they're close friends, but I think it makes him feel worthless and incapable of a real relationship. He's so good to his friends, how can I get him to let me be the friend he is? How can I protect him from self-destruction and stop the label "virgin" from ruling his life?

Raised to think sex was dirty and it's left me feeling inhuman and insecure

Anonymous asks:

As a catholic, I was raised believing sex was dirty. My family never spoke about sex and so I am completely naive to everything. And despite the sex-ed classes I had in school, everything is still so abstract to me. I never even really had the desire to have sex or to explore my sexuality. It was all just taboo in my mind. I am now 24 and a virgin and have been with my boyfriend for a while now. And as our relationship progresses, we want to become more intimate. We have tried to have sex a few times but it hasn't worked. I know it is my fault because he is not a virgin. I have wanted to do it with him but I get scared and he doesn't force it. Because of my negative sexual upbringing, I feel very uncomfortable talking about sex so I have avoided discussing it with him. My friends tell me sex is perfectly natural, but in the back of my mind, I still think that I am committing a sin by having sex or by doing anything sexual. Is there any way to alleviate these feelings of inadequacy and fear? Most people, despite their up-bringing, do find it normal to have sex at one time or another. They learn about sexuality. And I am still completely naive to everything. I feel like unhuman or something.

Wasn't that a safe time to go unprotected?

Kayla asks:

Me and my boyfriend had unprotected sex on the second to last day of my period, we thought this would be safe as it is highly unlikely to become pregnant at that time. I am now 8 days late, and never usually late, but have been experiencing abdominal cramps for about 4 days on and off as though my period is going to start. Could I be pregnant?

Unprotected anal sex, pregnancy risks, and self-abortion

Morgan asks:

Hi, I really need some help. Let me tell you what has happened. I'm 15 years old. My periods usually come anywhere from the 12th-to the 15th of the month. One night, I had anal sex, unprotected, but I didn't orgasm. When I had anal sex, it was two weeks after my period had ended. The next month, last month, My period came on the 19th. Is that normal? Is it just because I had sex? Could I be pregnant? Please help. If you think I might be pregnant, could you give me some self-abort advice, I can NOT tell my mother, and I have no way of getting a pregnancy test. Please please help me.

One positive test, one negative test: am I pregnant or not?

anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I had sex without a condom 2 times and when he cummed in me the first time I thought I was pregnant and I took a test and it said positive and I took another one of a different brand and it said negative so I didn't worry about it the second time he cummed in me I got my period the next day could I be pregnant now?

Bottoming, crossdressing and bisexuality have got me hella confused.

Anonymous asks:

I'm very confused with my sexuality; I'm a 17-year-old Austrailian male who is definitely attracted to women, but at the same time have an attraction to men that mostly involves fantasies where I play the receptive "bottom" role. I have acted upon these fantasies and sought out sex with other men, however every time it comes to engaging in oral or anal sex I enjoy it far less than I thought I would, even to the point of being bored! Every time I swear it will be my last because I didn't enjoy it, but lo and behold I get aroused again and seek out sex with men, and leave again disappointed. I'm also not attracted to the actual man; more the penis. I don't know what this means; it's worth noting that I have engaged in sexual activity with women, in everything other than actual intercourse and enjoyed it greatly. Add to the confusion the fact that I have a longing to crossdress, especially in women's lingerie, and I'm about as confused as it's possible to be. Please help shed some light on the situation!

Older, and recently married, but sexually inexperienced and feeling clueless.

Anonymous asks:

First of all, I am really thankful for your services. I am 29 yrs old female and recently got married to a 30 yr old guy. We have tried to sex couple of times but unsuccessful because of pain I experience when my husband tried to penetrate. Although we gathered useful information from your site, the main problem is that since we both are virgins we don't have much idea about these things. Secondly we both are not aroused at same time. Can you please advise us as to what is the best position or possibly the best way to do it first time?

I'm 13 and totally sure I'm ready for sex.

Anonymous asks:

I'm 13 and I know that I'm totally ready to have sex. I no that everyone is ready at different ages and all my friends are surprised because half of them cant even talk about puberty without blushing. It's not like I'm seeing anyone so I'm not being pressured I'm just so ready and I want the first time over and done with. Is this such a big deal?

Can I have sex even though I don't have my period yet?

FunkyChick asks:

I am 14 and I do not have my period yet. I have been in a relationship with a guy for 4 months, and feel ready to have sex, but I don't know what do since I don't have my period. Help?

...and he likes me to do to HIM, but won't do to me.

Jessica asks:

I'm 18 and have been sexually active with my boyfriend for about a year. We've done all sorts of things with each other, including oral sex. However, he refuses to perform oral on me. I've given him blowjobs many times. He says he enjoyed it very much, except he felt bad because he didn't want to reciprocate. He says that if I don't want to give him a blowjob, he would completely understand. But I love giving oral; I don't feel that it's unfair to me if I choose to do it. Even so, I really wish he would go down on me. When I asked him why he doesn't want to, he said he doesn't know. What could be bothering him, and what can I do to convince him that giving me head isn't as scary as it apparently seems to him?

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