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I was directed to this site by a friend of mine and I'm really impressed in the amount of information and real life questions that are answered. I've had a few things on my mind that I just can't seem to figure out so I guess this is one the best place to ask.
I am 19 years old and my partner is 18. We have been dating for almost 8 months and are very much in love. We have been sexually active for the past few months, and we were both virgins. We have only used condoms during sex because my partner hasn't had time to make an appointment to get a prescription to go on "the pill" We are hoping to have her start soon (within the month if things go as planned) We have been very careful when we have sex. We make sure the condom is on properly and that both of us are sufficiently lubed before there is any penetration. We have had a few scares, but it just turned out to be us over reacting over a late period (but I bet we aren't the only ones who have done that). We have been through a lot together and have shared so much with each other in the time we have been together. I never force her to do anything sexually if she doesn't want to. I respect her mind and body like it should be.
We have had some really great experiences sexually but there are some things that are starting to bother me.
Ok I have a few questions. I’m 18 and have been with my boyfriend for about a year and have not been sexually active with him or anyone else in any way (no oral, hand jobs/fingering, or sex). I have fun making out with him, but he recently told me that he doesn’t want to make out heavily anymore because it isn’t turning him on as much anymore without the “big O at the end”. Is this normal? I sort of want to do more but feel a little uncomfortable. My bf is supportive of my limits (especially he since he didn’t lose his virginity till he was 21) and isn’t trying to force me or anything but still really wants to do more. I love him and I want to do more but am nervous. He is much older and much more experienced than I am. I have talked to him about being nervous and stuff and it has helped a little but not a lot. I have another question too: I have a LOT of clear discharge when we make out and dry hump. Is this normal? I feel nervous about letting him finger me because of this. I am also nervous about giving him a hand job and oral because I don’t know what to do after he ejaculates. It all just seems very messy. I feel like I don’t know enough about how to get into and out of the sexual situation… I feel ready but just too nervous to go on… Is there something that I can do that will make this more comfortable? What can I do? Please help!
P.S. Thank you so much. This site is amazing.
I'm 14 yrs old and this boy that I have been fooling around with, asked me if I would ever have sex with him. I do but I don't. If we use a condom, is there a high risk of getting pregnant? I also really like him alot. I just wish he would ask me out. Another question of mine is that, how can I bring up the matter of him asking me out?
I'm 18, and my girl and I have been going out for a year and we have just recently become sexually active so I have a few questions.
1. Is it okay to use spermicidal lubrication,or a spermicidal condom, because I did research and it may harm my girlfriend. I definitely don't want to do that because I truly love her.
2. We've tried anal, and once I ejaculated inside her anus, is that ok? Every time I try anal it hurts her, how do I make it feel good for her? I don't use lube, and I am very careful, and hate seeing her in pain.
3. Is it ok to use water, spit, or saliva for lube to go in her butt?
4. when I eat my girls vagina she really likes it, but I want to get maximum stimulation, how would I do that?
5. Is it ok to have anal sex or will that mess her intestines up at all in any way? I just want to make sure it's safe, okay, and won't harm the love of my life.
My girlfriend and I care about each other very much. recently we had decided to become sexually active. She has had previous partners though she was my first. She says that I satisfy her, though I have honestly told her she does not satisfy me. I told her it doesnt matter but she is very upset and I am myself bewildered. How can I not enjoy intercourse? Especially considering its a new and exciting experience?
I found this website and I thought it was pretty open in its answers. I have been searching a lot for answers to my questions and most seem biased to individual opinions or not very clear at all. I am posting here because I feel I can find an objective and intelligent answer after reading a few Q's a A's.
First of all I am a 24 year old male. I have a gorgeous girlfriend I love dearly and is obviously the reason I need questions answered. We have been sexually active for a year but we have had a lot of issues involving safe sex. We have a lot of chemistry between us and we find it very hard to resist our sexuality. That doesn't mean we don't use protection, we use condoms a lot but not completely and thats where stress sets in. Most of the time we have around 1 to 2 minutes of unprotected sex before putting on a condom. I don't let myself get near to ejaculation we just enjoy it a bit then put a condom to finish the job. I have read a lot about this and have knowledge of pre-ejaculation fluid possibly containing sperm if ejaculation has occurred beforehand. I always take a shower, pee and make sure we haven't had sex up to one day before we do anything. We also never have sex again after I have ejaculated. Also, I avoid doing this or anything at all when she's ovulating. So if the claims are true, following this means these short 1 to 2 minutes of unprotected sex before the condom are relatively safe, or so I believe since we have been doing it for a year now. I know that doesn't mean it works maybe we have been lucky. That's where I need an answer. Is what we are doing OK?
We plan on eventually marrying and having a family but we are not ready yet. She hasn't graduated yet from college. I am about to graduate but currently I am unemployed. This has produced so much stress on me to the point that I have started to lose hair. Every single month when she's about the have her period I get worried thinking if it will arrive. Maybe I am getting overly worried but having a family at the right time means a lot to me and to her as well. Not to mention her parents have a good image of me. I wouldn't want to disappoint them. I also don't want to have her go through and unwanted pregnancy before she achieves everything she wants to do. We have a lot of plans and don't want to let them go to waste.
We have been thinking on getting the pill just so we can relax a bit. Recently she visited her gynecologist but she was denied the pill. She is now looking for another gyno and I am still losing my hair. We only want to do things right but we find it to be very hard. We have tried but the circumstances always promote the behavior. We have even promised to help each other but to no avail. If you have any suggestions that would help us it would be greatly appreciated.
My girlfriend came home from a party. I wasn't with her. When she got home we went to bed. Neither of us have intercourse because of our beliefs. We do "fool around." She wanted me to stimulate her as usual which involves inserting my finger in her vagina. Normally, it's relatively for lack of a better term tight. This time her opening was wide open. Open to the point the I could have inserted 2 or 3 fingers. This was not a normal thing for her in the time we've been together. Is it possible that the opening was like that because of penetration of something else, say a penis? I never said anything to her about it but I'm concerned.
And Butterflyeye asks...
Can a guy tell how many sex partners that you've had judging by the tightness or lack thereof in your vagina?
I am 28 years old and got married four months ago. Both my husband (29 years old) and I were not virgins before marriage and had both been with two other people before we started dating each other. We made the mutual decision to abstain from intercourse until marriage for religious reasons and to be "right with God" this go around. We dated for two years by the date of our wedding. During that time we would engage in foreplay, oral sex and we enjoyed that. I always wanted to fool around more than him and I made that known while we were dating, but he would always say that it was too difficult to get that worked up and have to stop. I had to agree, so I learned to become patient.
As the relationship went on and we got engaged a year and a half in, during our six month engagement we started having less and less foreplay. As our wedding day approached I became increasingly more excited about FINALLY being able to have guilt free, passionate, fun sex. I would say things like, "I can't wait!" and "how often do you think we'll have sex?" and "We will be able to have sex anywhere in the house and anytime we want" etc. I intentionally said this to express how excited I was about having sex finally. He would respond that he was looking forward to it too but that he didn't know how often we would because he couldn't make statements about part of our relationship that didn't exist yet. He would even get uncomfortable when I would talk about orgasms, something that I've only had real success with achieving with the aid of a vibrator. So the wedding night came and there was no passion, no romance, no "making love" just sex. I thought as least he would take me out of my beautiful dress, NO he just stripped and hoped into the shower, then wanted to have sex in the shower for the first time, Not my vision of my wedding night I'd waited for for two years. The honeymoon was the same. When we do have sex it lasts about 5 min. We've never had spontaneous sex or morning sex or after a fight sex.
He says now he's just not that sexual of a person and I feel betrayed and let down that he didn't express this before we promised to spend the rest of our lives together. He has trouble getting and sometimes keeping an erection and I become frustrated when he turns me down for sex. I've heard of girls not being interested in sex, but never a guy. He just is not into spontaneous, passionate, fun, sex. I'm not even sure he knows the difference. I have had great sex in the past, the kind I can't wait for, but with my husband, it's not exciting and he doesn't even get turned on my sexy lingerie. He is not interested in going to the doctor to take something for his occasional impotence. At best we have sex once a week. I was expecting that "newlywed sex" like rabbits that everyone seems to talk about, is that just a myth? Please help!