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I'm 15 years old (almost 16) and have self harmed for almost two years, my method being cutting. I'm now getting help for my issues and am trying to get on the road to recovery. But I have the most awful scars all over my thighs and hips. My family and close friends are aware of what’s happening, but I don't know how comfortable I'd be with telling a partner. I broke up with my last boyfriend because I was terrified of him finding out. I was just worried that our relationship might get physical and he'd have to see. And I'd have to explain, which would then probably scare him off. He was a great guy, he wasn't in it for sex, and didn't expect any either. We got on great but I couldn't force him to have to deal with something like that. It wouldn't be fair on him.
I really want to get close to someone though, I'm all for the idea that you can have a great relationship without sex, and I wouldn't find it hard to get rid of someone pressuring me into doing something I don't want to do. But the problem is that I want to. I feel more than ready, and I'd like to share that kind of relationship with someone too.
But will I have to be doomed to a sexless life if these scars refuse to fade? Is a cutter good enough for anyone though?
I quit cutting a couple months ago, and I still find it really hard to control myself. I also sometimes find it hard to be happy. What can I do besides therapy to get better?