Skip to main content

self-esteem

How can I get him to kiss me?

Anonymous asks:

I have a boyfriend, and we're kind of close. We were friends for a long time before actually becoming a couple. I need to know how to go in to kiss him, and how to make it so I'm not nervous, he really likes talking to me and I know we're boyfriend and girlfriend. But he never goes in to kiss me, and I want to be kissed. How do I get him to come in and kiss me? If he doesn't kiss me does that mean he's gay?

My friends say I have to have anal sex to prove I'm not a virgin to them.

Katie asks:

My friends are telling me I am still a virgin in their eyes because I have not had anal sex. The idea is scary to me. I do not think I want to do anal sex. They call me a chicken because I have not tried it. Is there any advice you can give me to maybe change my mind and get me through it?

Do I need to prove my love to him by giving him money?

Jasmine asks:

So basically I have this boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. The sex is great and everything is fine. He really is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. We have been together for months. I went out with his best friend first (who I lost my virginity to). He is perfectly fine with that as it was 2 years ago. Just one minor flaw. I was also under a lot of pressure at the time I lost my virginity and so when he asked me for large amounts of money, I gave in, believing that he loved me. It would not be an understatement to say that he ruined my life. He told EVERYONE at school what happened between us. However, he only told his friend (my boyfriend) about the money.

I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, and everybody is happy for me. When I say he is the most generous, kind guy I really mean it, and my caring friends also agree. But now he has asked me to give him money. Now I appreciate the fact that I am more well-off than him and his friend...but still. He said that if I love him I would give it.

Respect!

"So why do I harp all day about respect, and write books and blogs about it? Because I want every girl to reach her potential. I want every girl to value herself more than all the bling in the world. I want every girl to be safe and to heal from the bad-dark stuff that happens. I want every girl to discover what one of my teacher's calls your "soul wisdom." In other words, I want you to know the real you and to be all in love with you. I want you to know how to stand by and for you. Then you can spread your yummy amazingness to the world. The world *needs* you to make it. It needs you to blow the lid off this mutha (in your own way, of course)! And it starts with respect on the inside." - Courtney Macavinta, co-author

The ABCs of Size Bias

Body image ideals, like race and gender, are social constructs that have grown out of a combination of history, politics, class, and moral values. One need look back only a few generations, or across cultures, to see that attitudes about thinness and fatness are fluid and ever changing.

Can a guy be just as attracted to a fat girl as a "hot" girl?

Ash asks:

I am 21 and very pretty, but also very overweight. Close to 200lbs. I don't look TOO bad as my weight is well proportioned, very large hips, bottom and bust, but smaller waist and relatively slim face. Recently a guy has expressed a serious romantic interest in me. I know that he is usually attracted to much smaller girls and I find it very difficult to believe that he could really be attracted to me. Is it possible, for a guy who could very easily get a very "hot" girl, to be attracted to a pretty girl who is very fat?

Neither of us are reaching orgasm, but I need him to.

Frustrated asks:

I'm 17 and I have a boyfriend of 7 months, and we're both very much in love. We had sex 4 months ago and he didn't reach orgasm and I got the sense he was frustrated so we stopped trying until last weekend. We both really wanted it but the same situation happened where he didn't reach orgasm and I feel like it's my fault and that I'm just not hot enough for him. I never reach orgasm during sex but I always enjoy it and I want to have sex but the problem is I don't want to do it if he's not enjoying himself or feels frustrated and I also don't want to come off as though I want sex all the time because I'm his first girlfriend and he hadn't done anything sexual before me - not even kiss - whereas I was not a virgin upon entering the relationship, so I don't want to come off as if I'm a rushing things all the time. After all this, my question is: What can I do to make my boyfriend enjoy sex enough to orgasm? He has never finished during sex and I get the feeling he's frustrated with it and would rather I suck him off but I always want sex when we're fooling around and I love him so much I want us both to be able to pleasure each other at the same time.

Without condoms, I only last five minutes: what's wrong with me?

Kris asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I have never loved or felt this way about a girl. We have been sexually active ever since we started hooking-up and dated. She has the ring, and I like not having to use a condom. She is the first girl I have never worn a condom with though. At first I could last 15 to 20 min of intense intercourse and now I last 5 min tops. Why am I doing this? It also seems to turn her off and worries her sometimes cause it's not as long. I always get mad at myself and want to go again like I have something to prove. Am I doing this to myself? We do other activities and she and I both love it, I get her to come and orgasm (sometimes) but when we do this it turns me on so much. Could this be another reason why I go so fast?

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris asks:

This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend.

We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it. I have a very confused penis as it would last normally (let's say 10 minutes) but then more often it goes out of control and I ejaculate to soon.

She is very supportive and tries to go slow or is patient when I have to stop every 5 seconds. But come on, this isn't sex. I'm fighting a battle every time. I try to relax and use different condoms for sensitivity but I still get the same end result PE! I do know I have a high sex drive ( I love the idea of sex a lot) she is hot and the fact she wants it all the time is hot too but I find sometimes it makes me a bit nervous because of my problem.

I know in my past I do get stressed, sometimes I don't sleep regularly, or get the proper exercise as needed, and I got a lot on my mind but I know others like that and they don't have PE or at least tell me that. When I was with her I wasn't stressed or anything and I still get it. Can you please help me.

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.