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Consent is Sexy

What is consent? What is sexy? Why is consent sexy?

Why am I so paranoid about sex?

alsexnikkah asks:

Mmkay I'm 13. I want to have sex really bad but I still don't have a boyfriend and blah blah blah. I KNOW how to not have sex with a guy that I JUST met. I like to go out with a guy for awhile before I do anything like sex. But when I do have a boyfriend for like a year I would like to have sex. But I am always freaking out about getting pregnant! But I can't wait if I find someone that I like for awhile and stuff! And like I would like to do oral. But I am scared if I will get herpes or something. I'm always so paranoid about this! :|

The Pleasures and Perils of Facebook

Don’t worry: I’m not going to tell you not to post pictures of yourself drunk or exposed on Facebook because future employers might look at your profile, or tell you not to write about how "totally wasted” you got last night on your Wall because, again, prospective employers might read it. There are other articles you can read on that, and I do suggest considering the advice given in those articles. What I want to talk about is the other side of Facebook, the side that allows creeps to spy on you.

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Is something wrong with me because I like BDSM? Can I like it and still be a feminist?

alice42 asks:

For as long as I can remember, I have been turned on my imagining my own pain and humiliation. I am going out with someone for the first time now, and we've been together for almost eight months. Recently we've started experimenting with very mild SM-type things--tying each other up, biting, spanking. I love it, and so does he. But is this normal? Should I be worried that this turns me on more than anything else we've done together? Is there something wrong with me? (I've never been abused). And can I still be a feminist if I get off on being dominated by men?

What We've Lost & Why We Stay

All of us who work at clinics that provide abortion, or as abortion or reproductive rights educators or advocates know we do so at substantial risk. Women who come to our clinics as clients also know that they, too, may be at risk. The slaying of Dr. Tiller yesterday is tragic and upsetting, but it is not surprising or new. We didn’t become scared for the first time yesterday. We’ve always been scared, and we have always had cause to be scared.

The independent clinic I work for part-time had a branch firebombed three times in 1983 until it shut down. In 1988, via Operation Rescue, unending and intense harassment of children from demonstrators in another of our clinics forced us to close our on-site clinic childcare center for clients and staff. And our clinic, despite being one of the 40 or so in the U.S. which provides procedures through the second trimester like Tiller's did (though Tiller’s was one of but three to go past 25 weeks to 28 weeks, the legal limit), could very well

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Hopping Mad About Herpes

Anonymous asks:

I've been reading Scarleteen since I was at least 16, and the vital knowledge has kept me safe thus far... UNFORTUNATELY after getting through high school and college completely unscathed and mostly responsible, I finally dropped my guard for a nice, geeky, Christian boy who'd never kissed a girl EVER. And now I have oral herpes. I'm pissed. Really, really pissed. One day he greeted me with a kiss and when he pulled back I noticed his lips were a bit on the gross side. When he said, "Oh, I just have a cold sore," I completely freaked. Apparently his whole family caught it from his parents and they never made it clear to them that A) Cold sores/Fever blisters ARE Herpes and B) they can be spread to others. They act like it's completely normal. The last time I went to his house I saw a BULK sized bottle of Lysine on the kitchen sink. When my boyfriend asked his mom about why they never warned him, she replied that I was simply overreacting and that I should get over it.

I want to know how I can get through this without hating him and his generally very nice family. He's a great guy, and he didn't do it on purpose (I've never met anyone who has), but I'm just so pissed at him and at myself. I feel dirty, ashamed, and like I should have known better.

Thanks,
Newly Blistered Sister

Chlamydia on the Rise, Particularly for People of Color

From the Kaiser Health Disparities Report: A Weekly Look At Race, Ethnicity And Health:

Blacks were disproportionately affected by sexually transmitted infection rates in 2007, including chlamydia rates that reached a record high and syphilis rates that increased for the seventh consecutive year, according to a CDC report released on Tuesday, Reuters Health reports (Dunham, Reuters Health, 1/13).

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Missed Period and Feeling Suicidal After Assault.

Anonymous asks:

I have been raped on several occasions by my father and it is my fault. I should have listened to my mother but I didn’t. I am now 16 years old. Being in the world is the last thing that I want right now. I tried to kill myself on several occasions. I feel so dirty and worthless at this point. I have realized that since then my period takes months to come, the last time I had it was 5 months ago. When it comes it stay for weeks sometimes months. Since I have been raped, is this affecting my cycle?

All I want is to be held.... but that's not what keeps happening.

earthworm asks:

I am in the predicament of wanting a man to hold me but suspecting that I have not yet mastered my ability to honor my boundaries. When I have asked men to just hold me, they never keep their word, and after becoming turned on from the contact, I lose the will to turn down their advances. These men have had partners, or condemned monogamous relationships, and so sex complicates things emotionally.

Also, all my sexually active life I have been dealing with what my gynecologist recently characterized as vaginismus. So even though I get turned on while cuddling, my vagina rejects a man’s penis. I have to do anal and/or oral, which increasingly fails to completely satisfy the man nor me. Afterward I tend to feel inadequate, used, and defective, especially if I don’t hear from the man again. Not to sound cliché’ but I need human contact! Masturbation doesn’t offer the comfort and security of relaxing in a man’s arms. Maybe I should just ask a female friend to hold me. But the same thing could happen with her. I am almost 23 years old. How do I learn to exercise self restraint, so this cycle will end?

I'm going on a trip alone, but I wonder if I should be prepared for being raped.

Tash asks:

I'm going traveling alone soon, and do realize the risks of it. I've recently been thinking about the prospects of rape, I know it may not be more likely to happen in a foreign country than here, but I do live in one of the safest places in England, so I'm quite ignorant of the likelyness of it. I'm a virgin, and have no idea if it would hurt more than if I were not. I know it sounds like a stupid question but its not something I can discuss with anyone I know. Anyway, would it be worth losing my virginity prior to leaving on the off chance? I have no one in mind to lose it to, and I understand it needs to be with someone I trust and feel comfortable, I'm just confused and need some help. Thank you.

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