How long after a girl's first time should they bleed for and how heavy should they bleed?
I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.
For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.
I did it for the fist time and it was horrible, my partner just went fast and hard and deep until he was done and I wasn't even aroused well...my private is huge now and I do not feel sex with my current partner, it's been three months now, could a person be ripped or torn unnatural although it's a vagina and made for sex with a man? Do I just need to wait a long time before doing it again? Is there a such thing as being torn or ripped and heal back and not get back the natural elasticity of my vagina? I mean I had to dig into my skin bite my fingers and hold my breath from the pain, I don't think that is normal.....help please I'm very worried about this!