risks

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

Why is birth control always the woman's responsibility?

aniseed asks:

I heard about a male birth control pill a few years ago but have not heard anything about it since. Does it even exist? Other than the condom, I feel like it's always the woman's responsibility. I know that the consequences of unprotected sex are heavier for women but I would love it if it wasn't always the woman who had to throw her body out of whack by taking birth control. That said, the pill and other hormonal birth control methods all seem to have some health risk involved (increased breast cancer risk, cardiovascular risk, etc.) I know we need to protect ourselves, but it seems extreme to take all these health risks to avoid pregnancy (considering the fact that many people who use birth control do not even use a condom or protection against STIs). I just think that if a man loved a woman, he would not want her to increase her risk of certain health problems by taking the pill. Is the condom really a dependable method for someone like me who refuses to take hormonal birth control? There are just so many choices to make when becoming sexually active.

I've only had sex drunk: how do you have good sex sober?

Mia asks:

I'm not a virgin but I have only had sex being drunk and have never had sex sober. How do you have good sex sober? How do you be on top and be comfortable with what your doing. And know what you're doing, right?

Can't orgasm because of antidepressants?

shinyverse893 asks:

My boyfriend and I are both sophomores in high school. We've been together for two years, and it's a first relationship for both of us. We've decided to wait to have actual sex until we're out of high school, but we are sexually active (as in generally being sexually intimate, including oral sex, basically everything but the actual act). My problem is, no matter how intense whatever we're doing gets, he can't come. We didn't think it was a problem, but now he's at the point where he feels like he should... just can't. Since this is a first relationship, we both have no prior experience and are really at a loss as what to do. He's really shy and won't talk to his doctor about it, so I decided to ask here. He's on Zoloft (depression meds) so we're wondering if that might have something to do with it. He's been able to a couple times that we know of in his sleep, but other than that it isn't working. He's incredibly worried that there's something wrong with him. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you!

Birth control pills: the placebos, period timing and condom backup

Anonymous asks:

Hello, I love your site very much as it offers straight and honest answers to questions that we ask ourselves every day. Thanks a lot for that ^_^

I am 23 years old, and I have 1 1/2 questions. I am currently taking Loestrin24 Fe and have been on it for about a year and a half. My main use for it was to help with painful cramps I would get every month, but now I have become sexually active with my fiance. We were both virgins who believe that sex should only be shared by two people who are truly in love and I know that I can trust him 100%. So STDs are really not an issue and I have been having sex without any other form of contraception other than birth control. My first question is as follows, is it possible/more likely to get pregnant while taking the inactive pills of the birth control cycle pack? Is it absolutely necessary to use a condom as a secondary form of birth control while I am on the inactive pills?

My next and main question is this, currently I start my pill pack on a Monday, and with this specific birth control I start the inactive pills on a Thursday therefore I get my "period" on a Saturday. I don't want to get my period on a weekend anymore, so what is the best way to restart my cycle so that I get it say on a Monday or Tuesday. Would it be okay to just take the inactive pills up to Sunday which is the last day I am currently taking them, go without taking ANY pills for two days and start the new pack on a Wednesday-- or should I just skip some of the inactive pills altogether? Thanks a lot for your time, your site is very helpful :)

I had unprotected oral sex, and I'm worried about HIV

Anonymous asks:

About 4 months ago, I had unprotected oral sex with a guy that I know has been with at least a few other girls. The question of protection or other sexual partners never came up, although he knew that I was a virgin and that he was not. I was worried about my risk for HIV, again, I do not know his history. I have had no testing or symptoms as of yet.

Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?

Healthgirl02 asks:

I was given an assignment in health class, asking to get this question answered on your website. I know this is a very common question among teens and thought you could help me and my classmates out. I will be bringing your response to this question into class to discuss with other peers. The question is...Can I get pregnant the first time we do it without protection? I hope to hear back from you very soon considering this is an assignment I need to report back to my health class with this information as soon as possible.

Is it unhealthy for me to swallow his sperm?

Lucy, 18 asks:

My boyfriend and I have been giving each other oral sex for a while now, but I have just started giving him blowjobs. Is it unhealthy for me to swallow his sperm? Will I get any illnesses from this?

I have HPV, and I don't want him to know.

Gaby asks:

I got HPV from my last sexual partner. I was wondering if I went to donate blood would I still be able to? My new partner doesn't know I have this and I don't want him to find out. By donating blood and getting the results back will they be able to tell I have it?

I need EC NOW, but I can't get it in my country.

nanelline asks:

My boyfriend and I had intercourse last night without protection and he accidentally ejaculated inside. I got my period on Monday, November 5th, so I am not sure whether or not I might end up pregnant since it's almost been a week and usually when a girl has intercourse during her period it has been proven to tend to accelerate the period process during sex, which causes the period to stop. Right now I am barely bleeding, in fact I think it's only residues what I have and that the flow has completely stopped since the pad is not stained. He told his sister about the Emergency Contraceptives and she tried to get some, calling hospitals to see if they had any, the few she called said no, I live in the Republic of Panama, so the selling of those drugs might not be as available as in the United States. So lastly, she suggested to her brother for me to take Provera pills, which are supposed to enable bleeding and will not let me get pregnant; she has taken it to induce her periods before.

24 hours have not passed since the occurrence, but at around late 5 or early 6 am today it would have been 24 hours. I have two pills, I've been told to take them both at once. My boyfriend's friend called up a friend of his that has used it successfully as an emergency contraceptive and he also called another friend, a nurse, that confirmed it could be used that way. My boyfriend too, spoke with a general doctor who claimed that in this case the possibilities of me getting pregnant are small, however that the Provera would indeed help. I am however very skeptical, afraid, and worried about any side effects or whether it will prevent a pregnancy. I have researched about the side effects and don't feel good about the fact that they advise a prescription from a doctor and the side effects seem to be pretty negative and I have learned that Provera was used once as a pregnancy test. But I am extremely concerned that I have just finished my period, and so is it possible in any way to already have a period and have it extended as a result of a pill and much less have it confirm or debunk a possible pregnancy?

Please let me know as soon as possible whether or not to take these two pills! I don't know what else I can do! My parents cannot know and I don't want to have to abort! Thanks a million!


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