respect

Do I need to prove my love to him by giving him money?

Jasmine asks:

So basically I have this boyfriend who is 2 years older than me. The sex is great and everything is fine. He really is one of the sweetest guys I have ever known. We have been together for months. I went out with his best friend first (who I lost my virginity to). He is perfectly fine with that as it was 2 years ago. Just one minor flaw. I was also under a lot of pressure at the time I lost my virginity and so when he asked me for large amounts of money, I gave in, believing that he loved me. It would not be an understatement to say that he ruined my life. He told EVERYONE at school what happened between us. However, he only told his friend (my boyfriend) about the money.

I am deeply in love with my boyfriend, and everybody is happy for me. When I say he is the most generous, kind guy I really mean it, and my caring friends also agree. But now he has asked me to give him money. Now I appreciate the fact that I am more well-off than him and his friend...but still. He said that if I love him I would give it.

Respect!

"So why do I harp all day about respect, and write books and blogs about it? Because I want every girl to reach her potential. I want every girl to value herself more than all the bling in the world. I want every girl to be safe and to heal from the bad-dark stuff that happens. I want every girl to discover what one of my teacher's calls your "soul wisdom." In other words, I want you to know the real you and to be all in love with you. I want you to know how to stand by and for you. Then you can spread your yummy amazingness to the world. The world *needs* you to make it. It needs you to blow the lid off this mutha (in your own way, of course)! And it starts with respect on the inside." - Courtney Macavinta, co-author

When do I have sex if I want a guy to stick around?

Anonymous asks:

I am 22 and was the kinda girl that always had a boyfriend, all through junior high and high school and moved in with my h.s. sweetheart. I have become single for the last year and truly enjoy it. I rarely engage in intercourse (major STD fears) but do enjoy some PG13 action. I date very often and like to try and keep it all very old fashioned. It's not a rule I've made but I don't kiss on the first date and keep 'em wanting more till at least the 4th date when they finally get a lil makeout. I was casually dating a guy for about a month and felt he was really into me. I wanted to have sex so we did and now he is MIA. My girlfriend said thats what will always happen, they'll stick around til you put out than they peace out. 2 of my guy friends said they like a lil chase but if after a month of hot dates they still don't get any action at all they move on to the next. So when do I put out? To wait or not! I know theres no general rule or cookie cutter answer here but I would like all of your personal opinions. People say just wait til the time is right but c'mon... I'm not 16 and the time is always past due and very right. Thank you for the advice as well as this excellent site! Keep up the good work!

Trust Yourself: Feeling Ready for Intercourse

anonymous asks:

I'm 19 now, and am thinking about having sex. But I worry about it a lot; I don't think I'm ready, but in today’s society, most guys I know have already had sex. For me, this would be a first experience; I don't want to be bad at it. And when I finally do, I think that most guys would find it strange that I am a virgin. But personally, I'm knowledgeable about it, but there will always be the fear of not being accepted because I'm not as 'experienced' as most girls. Any advice would be great.

I'm ready, but I can't figure out if she is.

Travis asks:

Me and my girlfriend are virgins and are 16. We have been dating for about ten months and are getting curious about sex. She asked if I was ready and I told her I don't know because she's not sure and I'm not sure what to do. She will say that she wants to but turn around and say no. I just don't want her to lose her virginity and regret everything else that we do for the first time. I haven't even seen or touched anything yet, so I guess that leaves me some room, if I get that far without confirmation. I love her so much but I want to do it so bad. There's something stopping her and I don't know how to express myself . I guess she is scared because it might hurt and she does not know what she is doing and she doesn't want to upset me.

I'm shy, and I'm worried he'll leave me because of it.

kriba123 asks:

Hey, I'm 15 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for around 5 months now and I'm really afraid I'm going to lose him. He has been trying to finger me lately and right before I reach my climax I chicken out and tell him to stop. I think it's just because I'm really self conscious and scared of what he'll think of me. I also don't want him to see me naked cause I'm very shy and just scared about what he'll think. I've told him this time and time again but he keeps giving me lectures that I need to grow up. I'm really afraid he's going to dump me! I really care about him and I just need help on what to do. How can I be less self conscious about myself?

Lots of sex, but why a dry spell now?

Anonymous asks:

Me and my girlfriend of 1-year used to have sex 4 to 6 times a week. But now she says she does not get in the mood and we usually only have sex like once a month. I ask her why she just says not horny anymore.

I didn't bleed, and now everyone is saying I wasn't really a virgin.

confused asks:

This site is amazing. I've followed many of the articles here and they've helped me alot throughout my questioning days.

But now, I've heard a lot about womens hymens being the maker and/or breaker of their virginity but in my case it wasn't. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 2 years a few days ago, and I didn't bleed like my friends told me I would. I had the tiniest spot of blood on my panties when I got home that night. My boyfriend is trying to question if I was a virgin or not to begin with, my friends are trying to say I must have had sex before. Now my boyfriend is starting to feel bad because he doesn't feel like he was "big" enough to break my virginity. I don't feel like losing my boyfriend because I might have a stretchier hymen that didn't need to be "popped".

How could I make them all realize this without sounding like a know-it-all pervert ??

Big divides in highly age-disparate relationship

Anonymous asks:

My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. We are very compatible in terms of interests and values (the outdoors, conservation of resources, frugal living, healthy eating, etc). I am 22 and he is 60. Both of us have had sex with only one other person in our lives--me, my ex-boyfriend and him, his ex-wife.

He wants more sex than me. Big surprise. He's a man. I understand that. I enjoy sex when we have it (1-2 times a week), but I don't want to push myself to have it when I'm not in the mood. My boyfriend is very understanding intellectually, but his body wants much more. We've been talking about this quite a bit, and the fact that he is willing to talk tells me he is a good man. I don't want any strife over this, so I was wondering if you knew of any coping strategies that might work to help us compromise.

On a deeper level, he acknowledges that he uses time with me as an escape from his worries, whereas I tend to bring my worries into the time we have (I'm a student, so I have to do homework on weekends, for example. I can't just forget about work.) He tends to be very goofy, knocking me onto the bed, tickling me, etc., and it gets tiring responding to this. He says, "I'm sorry I like you more than you like me." How am I supposed to respond to that? DUDE! He's old and I was knocked flat with desire the week I met him! I pursued him because I couldn't imagine letting him slip through my fingers.

He says he wants to live with me, and get married. I don't think that's a good idea if he uses my company to escape his troubles--we won't get through anything if he keeps using my company as an escape. Understand that he is a decent, principled man; he married the girl he got pregnant 40 years ago and stayed with her to raise the child. Consequently, he wants to be understanding of my needs and is compulsive about birth control. We simply have a conflict due to our respective sexes and sex drives. I wonder what we can do.