relationships

Sexual superstitions: Good with fingers = good at intercourse?

Anonymous asks:

I'm closing in on 18 and I've been in a relationship with a girl for a few months. We've had some fun with a little foreplay, going down on each other, mutual masturbation, everything minus sex toys and actual sex. Thing is, I'm really good at fingering her, and I can get two to three actual real orgasms out of her. I have heard in numerous places from numerous people that if a guy is good at fingering, he will most likely be good in bed. I know this is only a somewhat superstition, but do you guys know if this is true in most cases?

Dating from a Distance

Anonymous asks:

Over the weekend I hooked up with this guy I just adore. We live 90 miles apart, so I assumed he wanted something casual and tried play it off like that's what I wanted, too. We loosely agreed that I would get in touch with him when I am in town again. I am kicking myself; I want to date him, not be a sporadic hook-up buddy! What was I thinking? It's gonna be so much harder to have that conversation now.

But, that is not the main thing holding me back. The idea of a long distance relationship doesn't appeal to me because I was in one for 2 years and swore I would NEVER do it again. That is not to say all relationships are the same; I just don't see the point in throwing up extra obstacles (like distance) when you're trying to establish a new relationship. And I am not going to move just for him.

So, I don't know what to do. It's easy enough to tell him how I feel and get a response; but, even if he does want to date, I am not sure I would do it with the current arrangement. I don't want to pass up this opportunity, but I don't see how it would work either! What do I do? HELP!

Spotlight on Scarleteen: Going the Distance in LDRs

Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships by Joey

Do you know that Cake song that goes, “He’s going the distance… he’s going for speed… she’s all alone (all alone!) in a time of need…”? If you also listened to a lot of alternative rock in the mid-nineties or just love clever trumpet-y tunes, the chorus to Cake’s “The Distance” may pop into your head upon reading this Scarleteen Take Two! article’s title. I’m not sure if author Joey had that song in mind when penning her piece, but “going the distance” to make long-distance relationships work is something she knows firsthand. In her article, “Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships,” Joey shares personal experience as well as great general advice for people in or considering long-distance relationships.

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin asks:

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

Dueling Libidos

Ruby asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I am lucky if we have sex once every week or once every 2 weeks.
A healthy sex life means a lot to me, I would rather every day or every couple of days, but when I ask him for sex he is tired, he uses the excuse that he works shifts and we have a baby. Well, she is my baby too, but I always have the time and energy for sex. How do I explain that it's just not enough for me without really upsetting him? I should know after 3 yrs but I'm still none the wiser.

We waited two years for good sex together... and even after sex, we're still waiting.

Jennifer asks:

I only started having sex about 3 months ago. I'm 20 and I made my fiancee wait almost 2 years. The problem that I noticed is that I never orgasm when he's inside. He has no problem with using his fingers on me but why can't I when he is inside. I mean I can feel it coming and it feels great but it never happens it's like I get sooo close and I'm on the edge and then I just stay there and I know he's frustrated cause he thinks it's his fault so he tried harder and harder each time to try to find positions I like and such. We are trying to use more foreplay to see if maybe if I'm close beforehand, and it will make things easier but I'm still waiting. It's soo frustrating cause I enjoy the closeness of sex with him but it's not very fulfilling.

What does sex feel like?

Curious asks:

I have never had sex before, and before I do I want to really know what it is like from other people. I want to know what it feels like.

Why does male sexuality seem so repulsive to me? Am I just too feminist?

Anonymous asks:

This is more of a psychological issue, I think, than a physical one, and possibly unsolvable, but I'll ask your opinion anyway because this site seems pretty clued up and sensibly feminist and lovely.

I have recently become disgusted with the idea of male pleasure. It's like I'm... too feminist to function. I have had sexual partners in the past, but recently, the more I learn about male character (although that is a gross generalization, I know - there is no innate male or female "character"), the less reconciled I am to pleasing men. My rational mind knows that there are plenty of men who are not misogynist pigs, who don't objectify women, who aren't secretly rapists... yet when I fantasize about sex, and men getting pleasure from sex, I feel physically repulsed. Like, how dare they use my body, they're just like trying to get pleasure from me. I know that is MASSIVELY unjust because surely women are using men too, but I literally can't help it.

But I still want more!

Amanda asks:

How do I turn my boyfriend on again after we already had sex one time? I am a pretty good looking young girl and I like to have sex more than once a day if its on the weekend, and not planned sex either. Like if I feel like my boyfriend looks really good I want to show that. But after we have sex it only lasts for like 5-6 minutes and then he's done, and I am just getting started. But he says he's tired and can't possibly do it again and it's like a big deal for him. He's only 21, so I'm just wondering maybe he has a problem? He eats A LOT OF CRAP like sweets and stuff: maybe that has something to do with it. I tried to get him to see a doctor but I think that only pissed him off. A healthy sex life is EXTREMELY important to me. What do I do?