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relationships

Why I Deeply Dislike Your Older Boyfriend

He may be older but he's not wiser, and he's not acting like a grownup. He doesn't want to grow up, which is part of why he's dating people he perceives as not grownup themselves. He also doesn't have the bad stuff that happens to you because of him happen to him to make him want to change: if he was in your shoes, he'd ditch him in a heartbeat.

I didn't feel a thing with fingering: is there something wrong with me?

Anonymous asks:

I am 15 years old, and my boyfriend I went farther in our relationship. It was both of are first times doing anything with someone else's private parts. When he was fingering me, he used one finger for a time and I really didn't feel it, it felt boring. He then did it with two and when I told him I still couldn't really feel it, he was shocked. He then got a little frustrated I think, and tried it pretty roughly and then it started to hurt. Is there something wrong with me? I also used a dildo once, so could have that like ran down my nerve endings down there?

All I want is to be held.... but that's not what keeps happening.

earthworm asks:

I am in the predicament of wanting a man to hold me but suspecting that I have not yet mastered my ability to honor my boundaries. When I have asked men to just hold me, they never keep their word, and after becoming turned on from the contact, I lose the will to turn down their advances. These men have had partners, or condemned monogamous relationships, and so sex complicates things emotionally.

Also, all my sexually active life I have been dealing with what my gynecologist recently characterized as vaginismus. So even though I get turned on while cuddling, my vagina rejects a man’s penis. I have to do anal and/or oral, which increasingly fails to completely satisfy the man nor me. Afterward I tend to feel inadequate, used, and defective, especially if I don’t hear from the man again. Not to sound cliché’ but I need human contact! Masturbation doesn’t offer the comfort and security of relaxing in a man’s arms. Maybe I should just ask a female friend to hold me. But the same thing could happen with her. I am almost 23 years old. How do I learn to exercise self restraint, so this cycle will end?

Sexual superstitions: Good with fingers = good at intercourse?

Anonymous asks:

I'm closing in on 18 and I've been in a relationship with a girl for a few months. We've had some fun with a little foreplay, going down on each other, mutual masturbation, everything minus sex toys and actual sex. Thing is, I'm really good at fingering her, and I can get two to three actual real orgasms out of her. I have heard in numerous places from numerous people that if a guy is good at fingering, he will most likely be good in bed. I know this is only a somewhat superstition, but do you guys know if this is true in most cases?

Dating from a Distance

Anonymous asks:

Over the weekend I hooked up with this guy I just adore. We live 90 miles apart, so I assumed he wanted something casual and tried play it off like that's what I wanted, too. We loosely agreed that I would get in touch with him when I am in town again. I am kicking myself; I want to date him, not be a sporadic hook-up buddy! What was I thinking? It's gonna be so much harder to have that conversation now.

But, that is not the main thing holding me back. The idea of a long distance relationship doesn't appeal to me because I was in one for 2 years and swore I would NEVER do it again. That is not to say all relationships are the same; I just don't see the point in throwing up extra obstacles (like distance) when you're trying to establish a new relationship. And I am not going to move just for him.

So, I don't know what to do. It's easy enough to tell him how I feel and get a response; but, even if he does want to date, I am not sure I would do it with the current arrangement. I don't want to pass up this opportunity, but I don't see how it would work either! What do I do? HELP!

Spotlight on Scarleteen: Going the Distance in LDRs

Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships by Joey

Do you know that Cake song that goes, “He’s going the distance… he’s going for speed… she’s all alone (all alone!) in a time of need…”? If you also listened to a lot of alternative rock in the mid-nineties or just love clever trumpet-y tunes, the chorus to Cake’s “The Distance” may pop into your head upon reading this Scarleteen Take Two! article’s title. I’m not sure if author Joey had that song in mind when penning her piece, but “going the distance” to make long-distance relationships work is something she knows firsthand. In her article, “Going the Distance: A Few Thoughts on Long-Distance Relationships,” Joey shares personal experience as well as great general advice for people in or considering long-distance relationships.

Read more...

Why do I still feel so guilty?

Erin asks:

I was dating a guy and the whole time I was dating him, he kept wanting to have sex with me. And I told him I wanted to wait for marriage. He said he'd wait for me and never ask me about it again. Well......that didn't happen. Every time we were together he kept asking if I wanted to move to the next level and I said no. Well, he kept doing this for two years, and we broke up a couple times over it. He'd always just apologize and say he wouldn't ask again. But then one day we went fishing together and he brought a blanket (which I thought was sweet....) and a condom. And he asked again.

Dueling Libidos

Ruby asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I am lucky if we have sex once every week or once every 2 weeks.
A healthy sex life means a lot to me, I would rather every day or every couple of days, but when I ask him for sex he is tired, he uses the excuse that he works shifts and we have a baby. Well, she is my baby too, but I always have the time and energy for sex. How do I explain that it's just not enough for me without really upsetting him? I should know after 3 yrs but I'm still none the wiser.

We waited two years for good sex together... and even after sex, we're still waiting.

Jennifer asks:

I only started having sex about 3 months ago. I'm 20 and I made my fiancee wait almost 2 years. The problem that I noticed is that I never orgasm when he's inside. He has no problem with using his fingers on me but why can't I when he is inside. I mean I can feel it coming and it feels great but it never happens it's like I get sooo close and I'm on the edge and then I just stay there and I know he's frustrated cause he thinks it's his fault so he tried harder and harder each time to try to find positions I like and such. We are trying to use more foreplay to see if maybe if I'm close beforehand, and it will make things easier but I'm still waiting. It's soo frustrating cause I enjoy the closeness of sex with him but it's not very fulfilling.

What does sex feel like?

Curious asks:

I have never had sex before, and before I do I want to really know what it is like from other people. I want to know what it feels like.

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