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relationships

I Feel Guilty for Wanting Sex

weelittlehedgie asks:

I've been wanting sex again with my partner for a long time but I'm having problems. Because of our age gap I'm sort of the stereotypical hormone-raging teenager. I feel guilty for thinking about having sex so often and bothering my partner by trying to initiate sex. I feel uncomfortable even thinking about trying to talk about sex and express my need for it more often unless it's after we've had sex. The past few times we've tried to have sex, my partner's sleeping medication has made them tired before I believe either of us are satisfied. And when I really really want to have sex it is either on a school night (which we previously agreed was off-limits for sex) or there's a friend sleeping in the same room. It's making me frustrated. I don't know how to bring it up because I feel guilty and needy or that I might be cornering them into decisions they're not comfortable with. What am I supposed to do that won't have me constantly apologizing?

I'm Gay No Matter Who I'm With

When everyone seems to be so preoccupied with labels, it's hard to really explain to someone that you're a 'genderqueer-gendernonconforming-demisexual-'gay'-transman' and not have them look at you funny.

A Pair of Jealous Boyfriends AKA Red Flags Aplenty

Sparknolee asks:

I'm 16 and I'm going through relationship problems that I'm not sure how to handle or what to think of. My boyfriend wants me to change the way I dress because he says I look "slutty." He says he doesn't like me wearing shorts, skirts, dresses or a plain vest top on its own (and I'm quite flat chested so I never show off any cleavage). I'm the type of person who likes wearing what I want. I'm into trends and fashion but now that he's in my life I feel like I'm not allowed to like or wear any of my skirts and dresses in my closet that I love.

But even though he says I can wear what I want, he gets pissed off when I do.

You're Not Pregnant. Why Do You Think You Are?

Some people struggle with strong pregnancy fears when there isn't a pregnancy or hasn't even been any real risk of pregnancy. What's that really about, and how can you move forward?

I like fantasizing about it: would I like it for real?

Prozac4490 asks:

I like to fantasize about being spanked when I masturbate, and I'm wondering if I would like it in real life sex play, too. Trouble is, I'm a little nervous about the idea of actually trying it out, and I'm too embarrassed to ask my boyfriend if he'd be cool with that! What should I do?

I decided not to continue an LDR, but now I'm not so sure.

zombiess asks:

I have been in a long distance relationship for about 7 months. We were never official, but all the feelings were there between the two of us. Neither of us wanted it to end but we did so anyways, because of money and distance.

Now I regret it, and he's just doing what he thinks is right, not what he wants. We have so much in common and we both agreed when we are with each other it makes it all worth it. HELP! What do I do? How do I move on? He wants me to be the one he runs to, and he wants to be the one I run to. He also still wants to fly me out there and still see me. And we both say the two of us never kissing is hard to deal with. I'm at a loss.

Body and Sexuality Disconnects with Disability

evan21 asks:

Hi all! This might be a super specific question only to me, or it may help some of you out in the Interwebz, too. I am a university student with a disability called cerebral palsy. As a result, I walk on crutches. I have also been a virgin for all my 21 years. Generally I'm a romantic type of guy, but in a university environment, this tends to get me friend zoned pretty quickly. Lately I've realized I carry a lot of shame about my body and my sexuality. I can't be seen as a sexual object, because it would "ruin" my romantic image. Because of the disability, I tend to live in my head and not deal with my body as much.

Even though I'm an outgoing, positive person, anything to do with sexuality makes me feel bad and down on myself. This can be anything from meeting a girl on a night out and getting rejected, to thinking about all the fantasies and kinks I may or may not have. What should I do? How can I feel comfortable in my own body and with my own sexual nature, particularly when it doesn't look like I'll be sharing it with someone anytime soon?

Thanks so much for all the work you do on the site. I recently discovered you guys, and you all are awesome!

50 Shades of BS - How to tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse

Most of us who work or volunteer here at Scarleteen are bookworms, and are also really interested in following popular culture to see what's happening, especially in terms of frank conversations about sex, sexuality, desire and fantasies. When a lot of people started talking about 50 Shades of Grey, we started paying attention. And when a bunch of media outlets started falling over each other to either hail the book for making BDSM mainstream and celebrating female sexuality or condemn it for those same reasons, we got curious.

As a woman who often enjoys being sexually submissive and as someone who has moved in kink circles, I set out many times to start reading the book, but shied away from it again and again. BDSM, in all its variations and manifestations, has a pretty bad rep: a lot of the time when we meet characters in books or on TV who engage in BDSM, they are either leather-clad outsiders (who are also often involved in sex work - think Lady Heather from CSI Las Vegas), or de

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Should my boyfriend and I work towards partnered orgasms, when mutual masturbation is working for us so far? And if so, how?

girlwhocrossedgap asks:

I am a 19 year old woman in a relationship with my awesome boyfriend. We are pretty much satisfied in our sex life, mostly because of all the cuddles and love. There is a question that I have, though. Usually we go at it (and do many types of sex) for a couple of hours, and then when we are ready to finish things, we both touch ourselves until we climax. (And give ourselves a great show.) I was wondering if there is supposed to be a point in the relationship where we transition from mutually masturbating to making each other come? I feel like this is something he wants since he keeps telling me to keep going until either I come or he comes. However, it is then frustrating because I know it doesn't happen. Are there some techniques you can give to help us maybe transition from mutual masturbation to partnered orgasms? Thank you :)

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