relationship

I don't feel safe with him: how can I change my feelings?

Becca asks:

I'm in my late teens and have been dating my first boyfriend for one and a half years. Early on in the relationship he broke my trust and later on has done a few things that have made me really uncomfortable: touching me where I've told him not to before, being very rough, and the worst, making a negative comment about my body. I've talked to him about all of this and it hasn't happened since but it's destroyed my trust in him, and my libido has disappeared. I now dread having sex with him because I'm always thinking about how he must hate my body and not respect me. Is there anything I can do to get me to believe he actually likes my body (like he claims to) or to learn to trust him again (and to be okay with him treating me rougher than I like?). I really love him but I can't stand the thought of him touching me at the moment because I just feel used.

Age of Consent Clarification

kwmal93 asks:

Hi, my boyfriend and I both live in Florida and have been dating for a little over 7 months now. We are sexually active. I'm 16 and he's 20, can he get in trouble for being with me ?

Spotlight on Scarleteen: Be Prepared, not Scared!

Submitted by Lena on Mon, 04/13/2009 - 05:03.

Soup’s on!

Head chef at Scarleteen Heather Corinna has cooked up yet another tasty new article for you: Chicken Soup for the Pregnancy Symptom Freakout's Soul.


I thought I was gay but now I'm questioning my orientation

Anonymous asks:

turbo18 asks:I've known I was gay for about 5 years (im now 19). Lately however something's been "wrong," I'm being attracted to certain women! I've even started looking at "straight" porn. Last night I made out with a girl for the first time, and I even asked her out and I have strong feelings for her (she knew I was gay).

I feel as I've lost my identity. I've dont know who or what I am anymore. I've been with and fallen for guys before. but now I'm questioning my own sexuality again, but for the opposite reason then most. I think I might be bisexual or straight.

We’re Christians; I’m ready for sex but he wants to wait

Anonymous asks:

Binx_mojo asks:I am ready to have sex and my boyfriend is, too, but wants to wait because we are both Christians. Should I wait for him or should I dump him? What should I do?

I'm a bisexual girl with a great boyfriend... and a bunch of guilt

Anonymous asks:

Shadowlover says: I am feeling extremely guilty at the moment. I am a seventeen year old bisexual girl, and am currently involved in a relationship with a lovely boy. But I am also lusting after (or crushing on, really) another girl. The problem isn't that I can't have her, I know that, but rather the guilt I feel towards not wanting my boyfriend as much. I really like him and he loves me, but I don't know whether I want to stay with him, and I don't want to hurt his feelings as I have broken up with him before. But I really would prefer a relationship with another female, and feel extremely guilty as I am with someone. I have no clue what to do! Or even how to find another bi/gay girl if i do break up with my boy.

We're both class clowns, but are we each others' crushes?

Confused asks:

I'm tall and black... I like this guy who's white, tall and the same age as me. I really like him and we always talk and joke around in class (we're kinda like the unofficial classclowns). But in this one class I somtimes feel his leg brush against mine... or his foot against mine. He teases me, and I tease him. I make him laugh, he makes me laugh. I'm not sure if he likes me back... and if he does.... what to next. Some of my friends say just ask him. But I'm not that daring! (I'm still kinda shy. I'm soo confused....are these signs that he likes me? And if he does, what do i do next?

Why aren't you psychic?

HELP101 asks:

I'm 21 and me and my fiance have been sexually active for quite a while now. He says that sex isn't boring, BUT (and the but is never good) he wants to be able to say "Wow, she is a freak!" when we get done. I don't know what he is looking for, but I'm up to try anything. He says he won't tell me exactly what he wants me to do because then it won't be a surprise when I do it. I just don't want sex to get boring between us, so I need some advice.

Are we growing apart?

moutushi asks:

My boyfriend and I have been intimate; we even live together. But lately I feel as if we are drifting apart. I do not know if it's because of his job (since he works full time to support himself and he's also paying for his degree) or it's me. Although he is away on a trip for work right now, he never even calls me to tell me he misses me. He calls for me to do the work he left behind here for him. He used to be one of my dearest friends before we started dating and now I don't know what has happened. He says that I nag to much. Do you think I should give him space? I do not want to be in a relationship where I am being taken for granted and I really do love him.

How can I make my first time special?

Sarah M. asks:

Having read several of your articles concerning "first time" sex, I understand that it may not (and probably won't be?) everything I'm expecting, and that you're "first time" isn't as big a deal as society makes it seem. But I would really like my first time to be special. Not necessarily perfect, but an event in my life I can look back on fondly. Is there anything I can do/should know that would make it more special?

By the way, I think this site and what you do here is awesome, and I am so so grateful that this resource is available. Keep it up!

What if he wants to have sex in 2 months?

lkjafkldffjaskj asks:

I have heard people talking about how they have had sex with their boyfriends after just 2 months and it scares me to think that my boyfriend will want it that soon because I'm scared to have sex, not just because of the risks but of what he'll think and all that stuff. We have only been going out for a week and I am not thinking of having sex with him or receiving/giving oral but I'm just thinking about 2 to 3 months from now will he want it? He has told me he won't force me to do anything I'm not comfortable with and he's a really nice guy so I'm pretty sure he won't but his last girlfriend had sex with him after 3 months. Do you have any advice for me?

Blinders Off: Getting a Good Look at Abuse and Assault

A basic lowdown on interpersonal abuse and assault: what all the terms mean, why strangers are the least of our worries, what a cycle of abuse looks like, how you can start seeing abuse for what it is, where it is, and how to protect yourself and others and make abuse stop.

He's my boyfriend, so how could it have been rape?

worried asks:

I was forced to have sex a few days ago and I'm worried I could have caught something. I have this itch that feels like it's on the walls of my vagina and I can't scratch it because, obviously, it's internal and I don't wanna make myself bleed. Does any infection have symptoms of an itch like that?

My boyfriend decided to take my virginity by force but can I call it rape? He is my boyfriend, but I didn't think I was ready for sex and he pushed it on me that night with a guilt trip. Please help.

Lots of sex, but why a dry spell now?

Anonymous asks:

Me and my girlfriend of 1-year used to have sex 4 to 6 times a week. But now she says she does not get in the mood and we usually only have sex like once a month. I ask her why she just says not horny anymore.

Why does my stomach feel weird after sex?

Anonymous asks:

Hello, my name is Monica and I've been in a relationship for quite some time now. Last night, my boyfriend and I decided that we were ready to make love together. We used protection (a condom), but I'm still very afraid because this morning I woke up with weird feelings in my stomach. They don't feel like cramps but they are bothersome and it feels as though I have something in my stomach...I don't know how to describe these weird feelings, but last time I had sex, I used protection and experienced these same feelings and I was not pregnant. But I'm still afraid and I feel as though I need to ask if it is normal to ever experience these weird feelings. I asked two of my friends, and they also said they experienced these weird feelings as well. I was just wondering if I should be scared about anything? I have been really upset this whole day because I need to know what is going on. Please help me as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.