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reciprocity

She likes it when I do for her, but she won't do for me.

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 8 months. I am 18, she is 17. I've been consistently fingering her/going down on her for several months now. Yet she has never taken the initiative as to go down on me, not even so much as with her hand. The only contact she seems able to handle with my penis is in sex, which we've tried to no avail (can't get it in). The fact that we can't have sex wouldn't bother me whatsoever if she went down on me every once and a while. What bothers me most is that she doesn't seem like she wants to get me off whatsoever. She seems literally terrified of my penis, though strangely OK with sex (I suspect this is because sex is pleasurable for her, too). Meanwhile, I am completely opposed to the idea of suggesting she go down on me, because I feel like she ought to want to anyway. Long story short, she seems perfectly attuned to receiving pleasure but not to giving it. What can I do?

Nothing else "works," so should I just have intercourse?

Anonymous asks:

I'm 20 years old and I've been dating my boyfriend for over 5 years. We are both virgins. Early in the relationship I told myself that I didn't want to have sex until marriage (mainly because I was, and still am, paranoid about becoming pregnant. He's been very patient and has never tried to force or guilt me into having sex. I guess I sort of have 2 separate questions:

I have given him HJs and BJs for a few years, but he has never done the same for me, not because he doesn't want to but because it just never feels good, even when I'm "in the mood." I've pretty much given up on even letting him try because I assume it's going to be hopeless. In addition, I've never masturbated for the same reason. Is there anything I can do to make it work?

Second, I've recently really been considering having sex with him, not because he's pushing me (he's not), but because I've just felt like I want to. I was considering going on the pill, but if not (or at least not yet), would taking EC afterward even with correct and "failure-free" condom use be a bad idea? Would it be pointless?

Fellatio Foibles

Ashlee asks:

Last night I gave my boyfriend a blow job. It was my first time doing that so I'm like 99% sure it was bad for him. I told him to try and help me cuz I had no idea what I was doing. So, he'd push my head down and I think I was "deep-throating" or something but I couldn't exactly breathe. What am I doing wrong?

Reciprocity, Reloaded

I’m going to suggest you look at reciprocity in sex -- the idea that one person gives something, so the other should get something of equal value back -- in a different way than you might be used to. (Excerpted and adapted from S.E.X., the Scarleteen book.)

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