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receptive

He likes it rough and I want it gentle: are we hopeless?

Minny asks:

I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.

For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.

anal sex lowdown

Confused asks:

I am considering trying anal for the first time. My boyfriend of 2 years (we're both 17) and I have been tossing the idea around for a while, but first, I have a few questions!

C'mon, its my BUTT. Will anal smell nasty? Will my bf end up getting crap on his penis? (Ew.) I've also heard you can really mess yourself up like this... like... having the squirts for a while and such. Last question! why are guys so intrigued by this anal fad? It's my bum!! I'm trying to have an open mind, because maybe, just MAYBE this could be something I'll enjoy... but seriously - what is so appealing about being up my ass? I just dont want to get into something i'm not sure about! (Hence the reason i'm asking lots of questions.) Help!

P.S. We are not considering anal as an alternative to vaginal intercourse. neither of us are avoiding sex because we are virgins; we lost it to each other. (We're still planning on using a condom with anal though... yuckie...)

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