readiness

She's 21 but not ready for sex: is that normal?

Anonymous asks:

My girlfriend is 21 and I am 20. I am so eager to have sex but she tells me she is not ready. At 21 is this normal?

How do I tell her I want to get sexual?

Anonymous asks:

I have been with my girlfriend for 2 months and I want to do a little more then just kiss. How can I tell her that without her thinking I'm taking advantage of her or her thinking that's all I want?

Shooting blanks or a loaded gun?

Anonymous asks:

I had this girlfriend and me and her always had unprotected sex and I was wondering why didn't I get her pregnant if I always ejaculated in her? This was like a 5 month thing that I had sex with her everyday and always ejaculated do you think that when I am ejaculating I'm shooting blanks cause I'm like really thinking about it. I'm 15 years old.

I love him: is that enough?

nerdlove asks:

The truth is: I am scared. But also anxious, excited, curious. My boyfriend and I have an attraction unlike any I've ever known. He always tells me to let him know if I want to stop, and then he will stop. I want to be intimate with him, and I've definitely thought about it, but it could always be too much too soon. I feel we may engage in sex soon. I don't really know how to do anything, though. I think I'm ready for it, but we're both still young, in high school. I'm afraid for what will happen, for what I am or am not capable of. I want to make him happy, but not always at the cost of myself. I cannot get pregnant; this is my forefront concern. Sex has always been displayed as something funny by my friends, and dangerous by my elders. To me, it's more a... beautiful thing? I'm not sure. With my less than adequate experience, I honestly don't know. I know that I love him; is that enough?

I don't know how long I should wait till I have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend: help me please!

Anonymous asks:

I'm 13 and bisexual. I'd really like to have sex, but I've always been told to wait. Problem is I feel like I'll break down, if I don't have an experience soon. Am I too young? I also don't know how long I should wait till I have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend help me please!

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

I've only had sex drunk: how do you have good sex sober?

Mia asks:

I'm not a virgin but I have only had sex being drunk and have never had sex sober. How do you have good sex sober? How do you be on top and be comfortable with what your doing. And know what you're doing, right?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

To have sex or not to have sex: that's the question.

Eoin asks:

I appreciate your site, and have been reading as much of it (along with several other sources) as I can, and discussing topics with family and close friends and the information is very helpful. However, I still feel amazingly overwhelmed, confused and scared about sex and was hoping I could get some direct help.

I am a 17 year old virgin guy and have a 14 year old girlfriend, as well as (and I do hate myself for this) a would-be lover (my friend's girlfriend). I love and (I believe) am loved by both of them, although at our ages I think it is hard to tell sometimes (uncertainty about feelings, the drama vs. love that you have mentioned, "is it just a casual boyfriend/girlfriend thing", etc). Anyways, I have heard many different opinions about the first time especially in emotional and spiritual terms, and also have my own personal fears and complications.

First, I am worried because I am uncertain about sex being "such a big deal". Honestly I would hope that it is not and I think I may have been close-minded to that effect. Specifically among my concerns are some statements on your site (forgive me and correct if my paraphrasing compromises the intent):

Can I just use EC instead of other birth control?

LizzyUK2002 asks:

I am going to have sex with my boyfriend soon, but I am really scared about getting pregnant. We are going to use a condom but I'm paranoid that I'm going to get pregnant. I could go on the pill but my mum wont let me.. so I'm going to ask my friend's mum, also. If I could get the morning after pill and take it just in case it won't harm me will it?

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