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pressure

An Autistic's Guide to Being Ghosted

Suddenly, a person you’ve been regularly communicating with is M.I.A. Without warning, a fixture of recent life can become a memory. Somebody you’d bonded with has abruptly stopped contacting you. The text messages have ceased, all traces of their presence in your life have been yanked away by them, and without warning or explanation. But just because the experience is stressful doesn’t mean it’s impossible to endure. There are ways for autistic people to come out the other side of getting ghosted.

It's Never Too Late To Start To Date

Being autistic, some things just haven’t come as naturally for me as they seem to for other people. Unfortunately, these have included hallmarks of American life often used to symbolize being “an adult” like driving on my own or getting my first paid job. But human beings are not on a strict timetable to do all the same things at the same time. This is just as true of dating like anything else. Just because you (or I) haven’t been actively dating when a lot of other people in your life have doesn’t make you (or me) a failure. You’re just on your own timetable. So am I.

My One and Only

The number of people you choose to sleep with isn’t the crux of sexual liberation. People who choose to have sex with fewer (or no) people shouldn’t be ashamed, and neither should people who choose to have multiple partners. It’s all about the choice - having the agency to sleep with as many or as few people as you please. It doesn’t make you naïve or boring or a slut or a whore; it’s just a choice that you’ve made, and that in itself is sexually liberating.

Under Pressure: Apps Can Perpetuate Unrealistic Sexual Expectations

Dating apps are part and parcel of modern life. Those marketed to the LGBTQ+ community are particularly handy if you don’t have a conventional way to meet others with whom you identify. But I feel like spending so much time using apps twisted my perception of what a whole relationship should look like. 

Staying Seen: Being Bi in Relationships with Straight People

When you identify as queer but enter into relationships with heterosexual people, or those with of a different gender to your own, it can feel odd to consolidate these two parts of your identity. You’re not straight, but society can perceive you that way – where do you fit in, exactly? 

Hookup Culture and the Impact of COVID-19: An interview with Lisa Wade, PhD

Due to the Coronavirus pandemic, many higher learning students are having to put their sexual lives on hold. To talk about casual sex in college life and the effects COVID-19 might be having on it, Scarleteen spoke with sociologist Lisa Wade, PhD, visiting scholar at Tulane University and author of the groundbreaking "American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex On Campus."

Man to Man: On Sex, Masculinity, and Being Yourself

Gender norms are really hard, but are much easier to deal with when we learn we’re not alone. When we can talk openly about the pressures we’re feeling, and realize that those pressures don’t have to control their lives, we can start figuring out ways to resist them.

Am I not attracted or just not comfortable?

Anonymous asks:
So I'm in high school and I've been having a "thing" with this really sweet guy for the past two months. It makes me really uncomfortable that everyone seems to be so involved in our relationship! They all want to know about our dates, our hookups, if we've talked yet that day.... EVERYTHING!...

The Problem Is Not Your Performance, It's Your Boyfriend

Meme28
asks:
My boyfriend REALLY wants to have sex with me. We're both 17. I don't want to because I'm afraid to be naked around him. I have given him oral sex. But he hasn't done anything but kiss me. Though, last night he caught me in the shower and asked if he could come in and I reluctantly agreed. We had sex, but after he told me that because I was a virgin I failed my first time....