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pressure

Sex as punishment?

Anonymous asks:

My husband and I have sex a lot...well it used to be more before I got pregnant with our daughter. Anyways, he has pushed for anal sex-which hurts so much-and the second time I let him go ahead and do it I was crying so much afterwards that he said he'd never ask again...but he has, and when I say no he pushes. I feel like he's punishing me for having cheated on last year...it's like by hurting me physically he's getting back at me for hurting him emotionally. Is that right? And is there any way I can make anal not hurt so much - lube doesn't help but so much.

Am I Blue?

Kaitlynne asks:

I was wondering exactly what "blue-balls" meant for guys. My boyfriend mentioned it recently when he was complaining that I didn't go all the way when we were messing around. (I was touching him inside of his pants, but didn't give him a full-out hand job or oral, so he didn't "get off.") Although I understand the basic concept of painful internal pressure building up because of no outlet, what I was wondering was just how much of a problem this is: is it very likely to happen to him or not? There wouldn't be any more than an hour between arousal and an opportunity for him to jack off, and, to me, it doesn't seem like it would be much of an issue since he does so regularly, which, as for my understanding of the matter, would keep the pressure relatively low. I know it didn't happen to him that day, because I asked him a couple of days later, but now it's sort-of in the back of my mind when we're hanging out. Now I'm nervous about getting him turned on, because I feel pressured to do more than that. Its not like I have problems with giving him a hand/blow job, but I don't always want to, for various reasons, and now I feel awkward about doing anything at all if I'm not in the mood for doing something that would get him off. Thank you for your help!

I'm not ready...but am I just overthinking it?

Barbara asks:

I have been so grateful for this site, it has been wonderful in making me more comfortable about my relationship. Basically, it comes down to the fact that my boyfriend and I are at the point where sex would seem like the next natural step, but every time we get close, we end up having a discussion instead. We have been together for a year now, are 21 and are both virgins, and while he is completely ready, I am not sure I am. We have engaged in all other sexual activities, manual, oral, etc, but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea of having actual intercourse.I have told him why - nervous, scared that the relationship will change, that it will become all about the physical, etc. And while he says he wants me to be comfortable, I think that he is really getting frustrated. I feel like even though we are not having sex yet, everything is now about that. And the last time we were together, it was all about him...physically I mean. And he is never like that. I just don't know if I am making too big a deal out of the whole sex thing. I mean we have talked the issue to death already, and I want to know what sex with him would be like....is there anything I can do to take the pressure off of myself and to therefore, take the pressure off our relationship?

He wants me to prove I love him by having sex.

Taylor asks:

I'm a virgin, and I've been dating my boyfriend for over a year now. He's really worried that I don't really love him unless I have sex with him. The thing is I'm not really worried about the actual sex part, I'm worried about the aftermath. You know, getting pregnant. Is there any possible way on my first time? Especially if we use a condom? I have a lot planned for my future, but I want him to be in it. HELP

Can't orgasm because of antidepressants?

shinyverse893 asks:

My boyfriend and I are both sophomores in high school. We've been together for two years, and it's a first relationship for both of us. We've decided to wait to have actual sex until we're out of high school, but we are sexually active (as in generally being sexually intimate, including oral sex, basically everything but the actual act). My problem is, no matter how intense whatever we're doing gets, he can't come. We didn't think it was a problem, but now he's at the point where he feels like he should... just can't. Since this is a first relationship, we both have no prior experience and are really at a loss as what to do. He's really shy and won't talk to his doctor about it, so I decided to ask here. He's on Zoloft (depression meds) so we're wondering if that might have something to do with it. He's been able to a couple times that we know of in his sleep, but other than that it isn't working. He's incredibly worried that there's something wrong with him. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thank you!

I come way too soon and I just can't deal!

Chris asks:

This question is about Premature Ejaculation, nowhere on the internet will give me any free advice or help so I really appreciate some real advice on thus one. I'm 20 years old and I have a girlfriend.

We been having sex a lot, when I get to see her, (she lives in another city in the time being but when I do see her), the tension is high in our sexual urges and have a lot of it. I have a very confused penis as it would last normally (let's say 10 minutes) but then more often it goes out of control and I ejaculate to soon.

She is very supportive and tries to go slow or is patient when I have to stop every 5 seconds. But come on, this isn't sex. I'm fighting a battle every time. I try to relax and use different condoms for sensitivity but I still get the same end result PE! I do know I have a high sex drive ( I love the idea of sex a lot) she is hot and the fact she wants it all the time is hot too but I find sometimes it makes me a bit nervous because of my problem.

I know in my past I do get stressed, sometimes I don't sleep regularly, or get the proper exercise as needed, and I got a lot on my mind but I know others like that and they don't have PE or at least tell me that. When I was with her I wasn't stressed or anything and I still get it. Can you please help me.

I'm late to the game: have I had an orgasm yet?

Anonymous asks:

I am in my late twenties and have never had an orgasm.I have only become sexually acquainted with my body in the last couple of years and can now get myself to the brink which is really intensely pleasurable but I get no sense of release I would expect to associate with an orgasm. Am I just expecting too much? Am I having orgasms but they are just not what I expect? It has the potential to impact my current relationship as he gets frustrated he can't make me come. Have I orgasmed?

I can't get her to reach orgasm, and I really want her to.

Anonymous asks:

I was directed to this site by a friend of mine and I'm really impressed in the amount of information and real life questions that are answered. I've had a few things on my mind that I just can't seem to figure out so I guess this is one the best place to ask.

I am 19 years old and my partner is 18. We have been dating for almost 8 months and are very much in love. We have been sexually active for the past few months, and we were both virgins. We have only used condoms during sex because my partner hasn't had time to make an appointment to get a prescription to go on "the pill" We are hoping to have her start soon (within the month if things go as planned) We have been very careful when we have sex. We make sure the condom is on properly and that both of us are sufficiently lubed before there is any penetration. We have had a few scares, but it just turned out to be us over reacting over a late period (but I bet we aren't the only ones who have done that). We have been through a lot together and have shared so much with each other in the time we have been together. I never force her to do anything sexually if she doesn't want to. I respect her mind and body like it should be.

We have had some really great experiences sexually but there are some things that are starting to bother me.

I like him, and he wants to have sex but I really don't.

Anonymous asks:

I really like this guy and now he has asked me to have sex I am under age and I don't really want to do it but I really like him but he just wants to mess about and I want more of a committment. I really don't know what to do, so confused. HELP PLEASE.

How can I stay hard for our first time?

Jay asks:

I am a 21 year old guy and I am a virgin. So is my girlfriend. We wanted to wait until we were 21.

We were planing on having sex for the first time last week. The night we tried it, I was very aroused and hard right up until it was time for me to enter her. As soon as I was ready to go in, I lost my erection. Realizing that we couldn't complete the act, we gave each other manual orgasms. (As soon as that started, I got very erect again). Every time we try to have sex I have the same problem. I am hard right before, I can get hard right after, but not when it counts. What can I do to avoid this? Should I drink a little alcohol before to loosen up? Take pills? Any advice will be helpful.

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