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pressure

Girlfriend putting pressure on herself to lose virginity

nimpup asks:

My fiance and I are trying to have intercourse. But she can't do it, she's still a virgin and has her hymen. It's too painful for her. The most I can get in is about three inches and she has told me that's about how deep her hymen is. She really wants to give her virginity to me and I really want to be able to please her like that. We don't know why it's so painful for her but she reacts like she's being stabbed in the stomach with a sword. She told me that it feels like I'm killing her when I try to push past that three inches. I asked my older brother about this and he said that maybe that's just how deep she is and after that three inches I'm hitting her cervix.

Male Needs

This is the first time I'm writing explicitly about issues around sex and sexuality, and as per usual, I’m writing in a gender-focused way – specifically men and masculinity. I’m having a bit of a look at how understandings of masculinity impact on sexual identity, expression and practice.

Talk, images & representations of men and sex are (without a shadow of exaggeration) EVERYWHERE in culture and society, (at least the English speaking cultures I'm familiar with). These representations are on TV, film, print media, music, billboards, books, spam folders, in fact pretty much the entire internet, video games, etc. We're all pretty aware of those representations, and even quite savvy and critical about some of these representations. Representations of male sexuality are more than just these explicit and often quite twentieth century forms of representation. Other forms may occur in interaction and conversation (or the absence of) with friends, family, casual acquaintances, people we me

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How can we have sex if he finishes before we even get started?

snapplefact asks:

I have an amazing boyfriend. He's thoughtful, considerate and sweet - not to mention super cute - everything I've ever wanted. He likes me a lot, too, and he's always telling me how much he likes me and how beautiful I am and all that good stuff. The problem is, I think he likes me a little TOO much. We haven't had sex yet, but I don't know if we can! The problem is that he appears to be a premature ejaculator. When we mess around, he comes unbelievably quickly - and he doesn't even get hard first. He keeps telling me he's really nervous because he's never been with anyone as great as me before, which is really nice, but I'm getting REALLY frustrated. I want to have sex with him but how can I do that if I can hardly touch his penis without it going soft, or worse? I don't know what to do.

This is what sexual incompatibility looks like.

haiguyz asks:

My partner seems to pick and choose when she wants to fool around with me. Whenever I want to do anything, she doesn't, and if I get her to do anything, she complains the whole way through. When she gives me head, if I suggest things to do, she gives me an evil look, and tells me to shut up, like she's being humiliated. But just a few days ago, she took me into my room and gave me head without me even asking or suggesting in any way! She once told me she doesn't like for me to do anything to her or vice versa, but this just confuses me. I know it sounds like I'm pushing her to do these things, but I have nothing but the utmost respect for her. I just would like to be intimate with her more often. When I tell her this, she brings up that she doesn't really like intimacy. I'm so confused!

Am I behind the curve with sex compared to other teens?

Maya asks:

It seems as if girls at my school are very experienced sexually. They all talk about hooking up, giving head, getting head, getting fingered, and all that sort of thing. I, having never even kissed a boy or had a boyfriend, feel a bit left behind. I wanted to know if most girls my age, 15 (like on average), have had sexual experience like this.

I've had to lie to get him to stop pressuring me for sex.

anaxelisz asks:

I lied to my boyfriend and told him I was raped. I know rape is nothing to joke about at all. My mother was raped as a child. But it is the first thing that came to mind! He's always trying to get me to have sex with him, and I'm just not ready. He's not the kind of guy you can just sit down with and explain that too..that's just not him and hes a virgin..but he does get "head" sometimes. (Not while I've been with him of course..] But anyway I told him I was raped and that I'm not ready to have sex after that happened to me and that it scares me because it will remind me of what happened. Well, that lie got old and now he's starting to ask me again and again. What do I tell him ? I'm stressing over this and hes not the kind of guy I can just say "I'm not ready to do this..or that" to. Please help. I'm young, only 14 and hes 15 but..what to do ?!

Long distance becomes distasteful when other aspects are disturbing

aspiring phoenix asks:

Dear Scarlet(een),
I live 1500 miles away from a guy I've been seeing. Without planning it, our travels have brought us to the same cities a couple times in the past few months. Unusual for me, but fun.

We're not dating, but I guess he likes me because he seems to be trying to hold things together between us.

I like him...sometimes.

Problem is he's SERIOUSLY weird and on top of it has waaay more experience than I do. I don't know if I can handle an ongoing physical relationship with him anymore - even if I'm 1500 miles away most of the time.

Yesterday while I was visiting him he told me he was sending porn to a female friend who wanted to see the evolution of his tastes from ages 18-25. Then he said he thought of all porn as art and an uncomfortable discussion followed when I disagreed. Guess I'm down for the count on that subject since I don't watch porn usually.

Dueling Libidos

Ruby asks:

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I am lucky if we have sex once every week or once every 2 weeks.
A healthy sex life means a lot to me, I would rather every day or every couple of days, but when I ask him for sex he is tired, he uses the excuse that he works shifts and we have a baby. Well, she is my baby too, but I always have the time and energy for sex. How do I explain that it's just not enough for me without really upsetting him? I should know after 3 yrs but I'm still none the wiser.

How do I get my girlfriend comfortable with the idea of a threesome?

muskate23 asks:

Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and I want to get her comfortable with us bringing in another girl, but I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't know what I should say to get her comfortable. I don't want to sound as if I want another girl, I just want to try something new.

We're saving sex for marriage, but he wants to have anal sex.

May asks:

I am 22 years old and my BF is 23 years old. We are both virgins and we both want to stay virgins until marriage. We have been together for 3 years now and lately he mentioned to me that he wants to have anal sex. I want to do it but I want to ask if he should wear a condom. Also, will it hurt?

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