pleasure

He says he wants sex to be more about him, but what does that mean?

confused asks:

Last night my boyfriend had a few drinks and he got really honest with me...He said that he thinks when were in bed its always all about me and he thinks it should be more about him in return. I don't know what he wants me to do, mostly we have sex missionary but often with my legs in different positions. I do enjoy being on top and get on top often, but maybe that's not enough? I have given him oral and always believed I was good at it. What positions are more pleasurable for men where women do more of the work? I was also wondering if a man orgasms every time he comes?

Two Guys, Waiting and Wanting

Steve asks:

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for a little over 2 months now and we have yet to have sexual intercourse. We're not like your average 2month couple. We stay together at each others house every night. I've slept with her every night this month, except these two nights. At times, just like these it is very frustrating. I've been sexually active for over 4 years now with around 7 different females. And she is a virgin. So, going from sex at least twice a month with no strings attached to a serious relationship with no sex at all, sometimes makes me want to have a mental breakdown.

He doesn't feel any desire for sex, but I want a sexual relationship

Elizabeth asks:

My boyfriend and I are 22 and 21, respectively, and have been dating for two years. We recently moved into an apartment and now live together. We're committed to not having sex before marriage, but we've been doing other sexual things since we started dating.

When we first got together, he was somewhat interested in oral sex (me to him, but NOT him to me) and touching and stuff. That lasted for only a few months, and since about a year and a half ago he has lost all interest in it. We'll do stuff maybe once every other month, if I'm lucky. It keeps getting worse. He's never been a very sexual person, and never even kissed anyone before me. He doesn't even enjoy kissing because he says it's wet and messy (even though we only ever kiss closed-mouth).

The only thing he has ever been interested in is feet tickling, which I grew used to. But anymore, he doesn't even seem to get turned on by that. He claims to be turned off by not only kissing, but also breasts, porn, and even the mere thought of a vagina.

How can we make sure he stays erect for intercourse?

Lily asks:

Both me and my boyfriend are virgins so I'm not really sure what is normal. The two times we have tried to have sex he has lost his erection. He is completely turned on before hand, but as soon as the clothes come off and it's time to actually have sex, he loses it. He's coming back into town next week since he's been on vacation so is there anything I can do so that this time so we actually have sex?

How do you tell when women are done having sex?

Liam asks:

I know for a guy, sex is over once he ejaculates. But when is the sex over for a girl? Because I've always been told in sex ed that the guy is "finished" once he cums & that girls don't always ejaculate during sex. But I never really thought to ask about when a girl is "finished." So when does a guy know the sex has finished for both, if the girl doesn't always "finish off" like guys do?

What if my boyfriend doesn't listen to me when we have sex?

Violet asks:

I have never ever had sex before. My BF is great: he knows me, and he likes having fun. We're both about the same age. If he's energetic, what should I do if he gets out of control? His listening skills aren't that great.

He likes it rough and I want it gentle: are we hopeless?

Minny asks:

I'm 21 and I have recently started going out with by first proper adult boyfriend - though I'd had sex a few times before, it had never been in a relationship that lasted very long or got very serious. I have really enjoyed getting close to my boyfriend and have looked forward to having a developed sexual relationship. However, as we began to have sex more often, it wasn't slow and careful like it was in the beginning and he started have sex with me in a way that I would consider 'fucking' rather than 'making love'. It's 'fast and hard', as they say. I know that makes me sound very passive, as if I don't contribute to how things happen - which I do if I choose to - but he seems to like it like that and I don't want to completely dominate how we have sex by saying that it must always be slow and gentle. He also has said that he finds it difficult to stay hard if he goes slowly.

For me, there seems to be a contradiction between how affectionate and caring he is with me usually (which he always is) and the way that he has sex with me. He enjoys and takes time over making me orgasm and is very loving. I asked him whether he saw that contradiction between that and the fucking and he said only that as long as it's in a loving relationship, couples can be rough with each other during sex and that it was normal.

My friends say I have to have anal sex to prove I'm not a virgin to them.

Katie asks:

My friends are telling me I am still a virgin in their eyes because I have not had anal sex. The idea is scary to me. I do not think I want to do anal sex. They call me a chicken because I have not tried it. Is there any advice you can give me to maybe change my mind and get me through it?

He says he doesn't like condoms, so should we use withdrawal instead?

Bam+Bam+ItsSam asks:

I am a 15 (almost 16) year old virgin. My boyfriend and I are thinking about having sex. We love each other, we are both mature and know everything, and we both ARE ready. He isn't a virgin, he had sex once before. While having a discussion on the phone he mentioned to me about this round-a-bout and that he doesn't like using condoms. I am completely 100% for condoms and would never risk myself getting pregnant or getting something (even though I know he doesn't have anything). But he insists that he barely pre-cums and when he does "finish" he knows beforehand. I know guys just say that. I've thought about it and maybe after were used to intercourse I'll think about the pull out method. But ONLY if we use another type of protection.

What do you think about the pull out method? For the other question I have, what is safer to use, in a girl's point of view? Morning after pill? The Ring? Birth control? How can I get my hands on a Morning after pill? Thanks ever so much.

P.S. your site rocks =]

Two women, two partners, and four folks frustrated with intercourse.

frustrated asks:

My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and have been sexually active for some time. Usually we have pretty good sex. But lately I've just been getting upset because I can never orgasm through intercourse. I know that's normal for girls but when I ask him to do other things, he usually doesn't want to. I almost always orgasm when he eats me out but he hardly ever does that and if he does it's never long enough. He wants to just move into having sex. I'm starting to feel like it's a chore for me and sex is just a way to get him off and then we're done. But I want to feel pleasure too. I already love him and love being with him sexually but is there a way we can try to make me orgasm through vaginal intercourse? Or is there a way I can make it more comfortable for him to eat me out?

Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Ready But Waiting asks:

I am a 19 year old female. And a virgin. The thing is I feel ready to experience sexual intercourse. Not only that, I feel it is a "stepping stone" that will allow me to "grow-up". All of my friends at this point have lost their virginity, including my 16 year old cousin! I feel left behind almost as if they've grown in some grand way that I have yet to experience. It's like everyone else getting their license and you're still riding your bike to school. I have another dilemma that rebukes this problem as well - I'm waiting for the "right guy" to `come along. But the trouble with that is, I don't know who "Mr.Right" is! Sure I've dated and such but they never seem right for me. Will I be the only virgin in my circle of friends and family forever?

Does a woman do anything on top?

stupid asks:

If the girl is on the top while having sex, does she do anything or does he do the work?

How can vaginas not vary much in size, for real?

Anonymous asks:

I was reading posts and noticed that a lot of them said how sex should be easy if the girl is turned on and relaxed. I have a smaller build and perceive it to be proportional in "all areas". I'm 19. I really enjoy sex and I have been sexually active for two years. However, I have found that no matter how much foreplay my boyfriend and I engage in, sex is difficult to start with and I feel sore during the end and afterwards. My boyfriend has also noticed a large difference in "tightness" between myself and other girls he has been with. We always use a good amount of lubrication and I do feel really relaxed and aroused with him. I don't understand how a guy can have a larger or smaller penis, but yet everything I have read on your site says that women have little to no variation in size. Does this mean that I'm generally the same size as the girls he's been with and that there is something else wrong with me?

Female Ejaculation and Partnered Sex?

Minnie asks:

I searched this site after having a weird experience while masturbating, which I have now come to realize is female ejaculation. The thing is I absolutely hate the feeling that goes along with that, so I have since stopped masturbating to avoid it happening again. However I currently have a partner and we are beginning to consider becoming sexually active (we know how to protect ourselves, and are above the age of consent in our area no worries) however I was wondering if there is anything I can do to avoid female ejaculation while being stimulated by my partner. I find it to be pretty gross, though I have talked to my partner about it I am unsure as to whether or not he is ok with it. Any help you could give would be appreciated. Thank you.

Shown Actual Size: A Penis Shape & Size Lowdown

Throw a rock at any sex education site or service, ask what the most common question we get is from men and we'll all tell you that it's about penis size. We don't imagine with this piece we'll never get asked again, but we're hoping these answers get you guys better filled in so you can feel good about yourselves, your penises and whatever you do (or don't) do with them.