It seems like lately I am just becoming overwhelmed in worry about my self-image directly related to my penis size and performance. It seems like sometimes my penis varies in size and performance while I am masturbating. I am just wondering what are some tips or advice you can give me on how to get full performance and size out of my penis whether its technique or certain muscles to use.

I have been giving my boyfriend "blow jobs" all through our 10 month relationship and its been fine so far, I cant say I like or enjoy it but its been ok, recently I had a sore throat and when I gave him a bj noticed that balls of hard white stuff came from no where into my mouth, I assumed it was left from my sore throat and stopped, using my throat as an excuse but it kept happening everytime I gave him a bj. A couple weeks ago whilst I had my tongue on the tip of his penis I felt one actually come out! so now I know where they are coming from but what the hell are they? It makes me heave like anything when one comes out and makes me feel physically ill but since at the start of our relationship he told me that he didnt think he could be with a girl who wouldn't or couldn't give head I continue to do it. I also dont want to embarrass him by asking him directly but is it just semen dried into hard balls that are being pushed out when I squeeze down with my lips? How can I stop it happening? It makes me feel really ill, please help.

When my penis gets hard it bends to the left so like my head points left instead of straight: is this normal? If it is not can I fix it? If I can fix it how?