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Changing Sexpectations

A Scarleteen user's final project for her Feminist Theory class, these two student-made sex ed videos linked through the accompanying blog are informative and a lot of fun.

Quick Hits: Twenty-One Kinds of No

Anonymous asks:

Does anal sex make your hips and bottom larger?

How can I stop being afraid to touch him because I don't know what the heck I'm doing?

jediskye asks:

Hi, I am 19 years old, and I've been with my boyfriend for about two months now. He's my first proper relationship and I was also a virgin before I had sex with him. My problem is that I am too shy to initiate sex, and I am almost at the point of tearing my hair out because I am getting so frustrated about it. I am comfortable around him, and I love having sex with him, but I just can't bring myself to touch him, every time I'm about to touch him there I stop and wonder whether he'll enjoy it.

He is way more experienced than me, and I have never stroked a guy's penis before or given them a blowjob. I just don't want him to feel nothing when I'm touching him. Is there any way I can overcome this? And could you give me some tips on how I could turn him on without feeling like an idiot?

How do I make my erection last longer for intercourse?

funkykingston asks:

Hi guys: I'm a 15 year old male, not in a relationship, and really doubt I'll be having intercourse any time soon. However, given that I have the time, commitment and attitude for it I thought it might be a good idea to train myself to last longer for intercourse, so that when the time does come I feel, y'no, good about myself.

I've been masturbating with varying regularity for a bit less than a year now, so I know myself and my sexual responses. I'd also like to make it clear that I don't: a)feel unconfident and generally scared of intercourse from fear of inadequacy, b)have unrealistic ideas about what is 'normal' from pornography, or c)think that intercourse is the only 'real' sex, and that how long you can last is a measure of how good or 'manly' you are.

This said, I also know that improved ejaculatory control would be useful in the future to improve the amount of pleasure me and my future partners get out of intercourse, and starting now would likely be more effective. I try to masturbate with a relaxed attitude, and not in environments where I'm somehow pushed for time or otherwise stressed. I've read about a lot of techniques online, but given that 'premature ejaculation' is a problem so many people have a lot of anxiety about and there's obviously a huge amount of money to be made in convincing people that you have some miracle cure for their problem, I thought I'd ask you guys at Scarleteen about what sort of things actually work in the real world and what's just fantasy.

Why do men lose erections after they ejaculate?

confused?? asks:

Why do men lose erections after they ejaculate?

Weight loss = bigger penis?

respect asks:

Okay, so I keep hearing that for every 30 lbs a guy loses (actually I've heard other versions where it's 10 lbs, which just strengthens my opinion on the subject) his penis gets an inch longer. To me, this freaking REEKS of BS, but I have friends who believe it or aren't sure. I've looked everywhere and can't find solid information one way or the other. Experts seem to agree that the ONLY thing that can increase penis size is time, which would run contrary to this story. Can you confirm or deny this?

He couldn't get it up: is it because of me?

first timer asks:

I'm 17,and I have been dating this guy for like a year. We just started having sex, and the other day we were going to but he wanted me to give him head before so he would last longer...then he could not get it back up. He tried hard to but it just wouldn't. Was it me? Can I just not do it for him or something?

He's 15, and we've tried everything, so why can't he get it up and get off?

Cheybaby asks:

My boy friend is 15, has never had an erection and every time we want to have sex we can't. He thought it might be a medical problem but he asked the doctor and said no medical problem here. We have tried everything. The first thing we tried was dry humping and nothing happened and then I tried grinding him they say that can be very arousing but it didn't work. I let him look at porn and nothing happened. More suggestions?

What's wrong with my technique?!?

Honey asks:

I've read that the head of men's penises are very sensitive, or the vein on the underside. But my boyfriend doesn't seem to be affected by it too much. In fact if it wasn't for the fact that he thrusts into my mouth when I go down on him, I would think he was completely unaffected. Could it be my technique or is he just really unresponsive or maybe even a little hardened by sex after indulging (with the same girl) in the past?

Oral sex for him...but how?

Anonymous asks:

I'm 21 years old I've been sexually active since I can remember, and never was interested in getting or giving a blowjob. But now, I want to but don't know how to give oral sex in a way I know he will ejaculate. So I just open my mouth and then what?

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